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50 Things I’d Have Done Differently, IF I KNEW THEN, WHAT I KNOW NOW!

July 6, 2015

change resist50 Things I’d Do Differently, If I knew then what I know now…

  1. I would have spent more time developing my talents.
  2. I would have learned to draw.
  3. I would have written sooner and published sooner.
  4. I would have spent more time listening to my spirit than to others.
  5. I wouldn’t have stopped singing just because someone told me that I couldn’t sing.
  6.  I would have waited to be intimate with someone who loved God, my spirit, and soul more than my body. I’d have wished that I’d learned sooner the difference between “I love you” and “I lust you.”
  7. I would have stayed home with all my kids when they were under five and loved every moment and made do with less stuff.
  8. I would have insisted on knowing all of my children’s friends and been the mom that had everyone over.
  9. I would have given or thrown away all the stuff I hadn’t used in a year and not allow clutter in my sacred space.
  10. I’d have made my home a ‘fortress for well-being’ instead a warehouse full of useless stuff.
  11. I would have lived a much simpler life and only purchased things that I needed instead of anything that I wanted.
  12. I’d have spent less and saved more so that I’d have the money to visit my grandchildren whenever I wanted.
  13. I wouldn’t buy anything that I couldn’t afford.
  14. I would have more dinner parties and time with my friends and not put it off for another work project.
  15. I’d have taken more time to nurture the relationships between my sisters, cousins, and dear friends.
  16. I’ve also have gotten to know my aunts, uncles, and grandmother while they were alive.
  17. I’d have judged less and loved more unconditionally.
  18. I’d have complimented my husband more and helped him to reach his dreams. I’d have shown him more gratitude for the little things and his belief in me.
  19. I’d have listened to my father’s story and written it down so I could benefit from the lessons when I became his age. I’d also have written my story as it was happening.
  20. I would have excelled in nutrition and health and been kinder to my body.
  21.  I’d have exercised more, learned sooner about vitamins, minerals, proteins, vaccines, and pro-biotics, and would have done yoga, qi-gong and pilates sooner and religiously.
  22. I’d have hired an interior decorator to make my home beautiful instead of buying a luxury car.
  23. I would have been less trusting of what people said and relied more on what they actually did.
  24. I would never have told a lie, gossiped about another person, or said anything unkind.
  25. I would have respected myself more and not allowed others to make me feel ashamed of myself.
  26. I’d have been kinder to my stepmother and perhaps she would have been able to heal and find love in her heart sooner for me.
  27. Although I did well in school, I would have strived for perfection since I had the capacity. I would have stayed in school and gotten a PhD before I had kids.
  28. I’d have brushed more, flossed more, and eaten less junk food as a kid and young adult.
  29. I would never have stopped playing.
  30. I’d have learned the value of sleep and not compromised it to reach lesser important goals.
  31. I would have spent less time and energy on people who were just takers.
  32. I would have focused on one career goal at a time instead of allowing outside influences purportedly to “get rich” to distract me from my calling.
  33. I would spoken up more in some cases and kept my mouth shut in others.
  34. I would have delegated more; hired an accountant, a housekeeper, and anyone else who could do certain jobs better than me.
  35. I would not have gotten out of sync with the sun.
  36. I would have gotten outdoors more.
  37. I would have created more habits that brought me joy and health.
  38. I would listen more and talk less.
  39. I would write more, much, much more and publish more.
  40. I would create rituals like calling each kid everyday and tell them I love them, even though I feel they know it.
  41. I’d have spent more time with my grandchildren.
  42. I’d have protected my credit better.
  43. I’d have spent less time on friends that do not value my friendship and more on those who show they care.
  44. I’d never have stopped going into nature. I’d never gotten afraid of bugs and limiting my time outdoors in nature.
  45. I’d never have stopped running since I loved it.
  46. I’d say “I love you” everyday to those I love in ways that they could hear me.
  47. I’d have protected all of my children better.
  48. I would have shared my pain too and not be seen only as the Superwoman who doesn’t cry.
  49. I’d focus more and finish what I have started.
  50. I’d never have stopped sewing.

The first half of this list was written about five years ago and the latter today. The great thing about reflection, is that you STILL CAN DO many of the things you wish you had done. And, for the ones you can’t you can share your wisdom with others who may benefit.  I love life and I am glad that I am alive, because the alternative is….. I hope you are grateful for your life too!


21 Tips to Help You Spring Forward in 2016

April 1, 2015

Spring Symbolizes Change

Don’t Fight It:  Go With the Flow!

In honor of the momentous arrival of spring on March 21st, I’d like to share 21 tips to help you spring forward in your personal, business, and spiritual life.   Don’t just sit there lethargic accepting mediocrity,  fate, or chance.  Get up, spring forward, pounce ahead, move onward, leap, twirl, soar…  Go after your dreams.  Make life really matter.  Appreciate life more by living it more fully. Pick the life you want from the universal catalog of possibilities; plan for it, prepare for it, and promote yourself right now.  Don’t wait for others to see your greatness.  Give yourself permission to go after your dreams with faith, fervor, and fastidiousness.

Seven of 21 Best Spring Forward Tips

  1. Decide what you want and go after it.  Indecision wastes valuable time and energy. Decide, ask, believe, act, and receive.
  2. Have a spiritual or rejuvenating daily routine.  It can be as simple as having a few moments to quiet the mind and center yourself, to a longer time complete with prayer and meditation.
  3. Don’t sacrifice the most important for things of lesser value.  Don’t choose the easiest, quickest, or most comfortable.  Choose what will have the most impact and add the most meaning to your life.
  4. Get organized.  You waste time and money looking for things.  Have a place for your things and keep those things in their place.
  5. Limit interactions with contentious, complaining, toxic and negative people.  They dissipate your energy.
  6. Get enough sleep, fresh air, exercise, and nutritious foods.  Honor your soul’s earthly temple and treat it right.
  7. Work smart, not hard.  Always ask, “Is there a more efficient or faster way to do this?”   Or, “Should I be doing this at all?”  Remember, “No is a good answer too!”

Click to read the next 7 tips:

It’s The Feeling Not the Object You’re After

February 17, 2015

happy sun

Success, Accomplishment, Winning, Productivity, these are words that define growth, movement, or the reaching of major milestones in life. We choose what we want out of life and then we focus on that goal with faith and fervor until we finish.  Life rewards those who persevere with a feeling of satisfaction.

While there may be many tangible or physical “things” that we thought we were seeking, it was the feeling and not the thing that we were seeking.

angel wingsWe just tied the feeling to the thing and the thing became our carrot. We are elated when we are successful at accomplishing something we desired,  or when we have won, or when we have created or produced something from our own efforts.  Meaningful achievements are satisfying and make us happy.  We want something more, better, or different.  This drive is not always a sign of discontent or dissatisfaction but more a natural response to our innate calling to mature, develop, and transform into our best selves.  Without transformation, we stay as we are.  When living things stop growing, they die! Label the feeling you desire and pay attention to notice how many times that feeling returns for the simple things already in your life. Decide to feel good everyday and just do it!



February 10, 2015

Recently I came across a most intriguing lesson in how to help people understand privilege.  I thought the exercise was extremely thought provoking, simple, and yet profound at the same time. A high school teacher used a simple exercise to illustrate privilege brilliantly. The article didn’t point any fingers at any privileged groups nor did it paint any group as unprivileged  and yet based on the comments it certainly ruffled a few feathers. Several key points emerged; one was that privilege is unearned.  I encourage you to take a look at the exercise and draw your own conclusions so I won’t say much more until you experience it yourself.

nathan w pyle via buzzfeedIn this life we all have privileges and disadvantages. Just as we are all challenged in some way, we are also all privileged in some way. I lovingly challenge you to remember and be grateful for the unique privileges you have! It humbles you and makes you more grateful and less judgmental.  I know it does for me. Even in the worst of times, I always had some privilege that someone else didn’t. When I lost my mother at aged three, I was privileged to have a father and sisters. When we lived in an old raggedy shack, at least we weren’t homeless. When we were forced to work in the fields or knock on doors and sell fish and produce, we were privileged to be learning the value of work and we always had food to eat. Remembering the challenges I’ve overcome makes me grateful. Understanding my unique privileges helps keep me humble. “There but by the grace of God, go I.”


“A high school teacher leads a simple, powerful exercise to teach his class about privilege and social mobility. He started by giving each student a scrap piece of paper and asked them to crumple it up.

Then he moved the recycling bin to the front of the room.He said, “The game is simple — you all represent the country’s population. And everyone in the country has a chance to become wealthy and move into the upper class.”

“To move into the upper class, all you must do is throw your wadded-up paper into the bin while sitting in your seat.”

The students in the back of the room immediately piped up, “This is unfair!” They could see the rows of students in front of them had a much better chance.”

Click here to see the results of his exercise and to peruse the comments. The comments for me were even more telling about how people view and protect privilege and put down others who don’t enjoy it.


Barbara S. Talley
The Poet Speaks

Past the Torch

February 10, 2015

Do you remember the song with the lyrics, “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand, make this a better world, if you can!”  That’s our charge. Everyone can do something. Everyone has some unique gift and talent to share with the world.  Remember that the next generation is learning from us.

10675712_10153115951410649_4491032452400321957_nWe must teach the children values and help them to find and strengthen their gifts. This charity, this love, this encouragement must begin at home.  We must expose our children to opportunities as well.  A doctor will expose his or her children to the medical field. A business owner will expose their child to the world of business.  I’m a writer, speaker, and author. My children have been exposed to this world. One has chosen to embrace it. Other’s found their own path of service and I support that whole-heartedly.  We must all do the same for our children and other people’s children too for they are all ours. And, their decisions will one day shape the world we will be living in when we are old and gray.

I am so proud that my youngest chose to write. I’ve been sharing my platform with her whenever I can. There is no greater joy than that. We spoke together at a recent Dr. King Celebration and now she has the bug.


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