Category Archives: Change and Personal Empowerment

Dream Derailer #6c: Can You Count on You?

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This is the third article in the series on the importance of commitment.  The real questions you must answer honestly for yourself are:

  1. Can you count on yourself?
  2. Would you bet your all on yourself?
  3. Do you believe in yourself?
  4. Do you take the commitments to yourself as seriously as those to other people?
  5. Is your word worth as much when it comes to keeping promises you make to yourself?
  6. Are the words you say to yourself encouraging, supportive, and loving?

Any answer other than “yes” is a possible, perhaps an even probable, dream derailer.  Do you remember how it feels to be let down by someone?  It is disheartening to say the least.  And, the closer that person is to you, the worst it feels.

How Many Times Have You Let Yourself Down?

Well, have you ever thought about the deleterious effects of not even being able to depend on your own self either?  How must that make one feel?  What do you think that does to one’s self esteem to realize that they can not even rely on their own self?  How many times have you let yourself down, set a goal and then ignored or abandoned it?  If you want to be happy, hopeful, and successful, be the one person you can rely on and trust.  Be honest with yourself.  If you make a promise through a goal, follow through on it.  Build that self-trust and with it your self-esteem and personal power.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #6b: 5 Signs of Commitment

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Now, the question you must answer honestly is, “Am I interested or committed to my own success, relationships, education, or whatever it is you are striving for.  To understand more clearly what I mean by being interested or committed, ponder this little tale of a pig and a chicken’s contribution to a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken is interested, the pig is committed! When we commit to our dreams we make a vow, a promise, or a pledge, to be reliable, steadfast, and to give it our all.  We see our goal or dream as an obligation and then we do what we must to see it through.  Five signs of commitment are:

  1. You give your word, keep your word, and make that promise a priority.
  2. Your goal is foremost in your consciousness, conversations, and thoughts.
  3. You have a plan and you work on it faithfully, diligently and with regularity.
  4. You give it your all, and…
  5. You don’t give up!

You must go after your dreams with the same commitment you would have if you were fighting a gorilla.  You don’t give up when you get tired; you give up when the gorilla gets tired.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #6a: Not Committed Enough

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Okay, you’ve got a dream, the desire, and you also feel that you have the talent, but you’re not making the progress you desire.  So, now what? Why do some still fail to produce the outcome they desire or see their dreams come true?

Wanting Is Not Enough

Most people think that wanting something badly enough will make it happen.  If that were true we’d have world peace, no poverty, and war would be no more, for people profess to want these things.  I agree, wanting is an important first step, but desire is not enough, you have to be committed.  Mary Crowley, the founder of Home Interiors, a highly successful multi-level marketing decorating business, once made a profound statement about commitment.  She said something to the effect, “I’ll take one committed person any day over ten ‘interested’ people.”

Are You Committed or Just Interested?

Who would you support, believe in, trust, and collaborate with, the interested person or the committed person? Pause now and take a look at your current goals.  Decide for each goal if you are committed or simply interested and be honest with yourself.  Then either commit or let the goal go until such time when you can fully commit.  Why frustrate yourself and dissipate your energy?  Instead focus your energy on the goals you are committed to and watch magic happen!  Continue to part two to read about the Five  Signs of Commitment.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Don’t give your power away and don’t give up on yourself.

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Choose to Be Around People Who Lift You Up

Unfortunately far too many people give up their dreams because of the negative people in their lives.  You must understand that your dream, your goal, and your vision is your unique treasure.  Others may not necessarily see it or believe it to be possible.  That is why you must never succumb to negativity.  That is why you must know yourself and know your strengths and your weaknesses. I know it’s disheartening to sometimes not have those you care about most believe in you.  But you matter too.  Believing in yourself is the catalyst for others believing in you.  In fact why should anyone believe in you if you don’t even believe in yourself, especially since you should know yourself better than anyone else knows you.

DON'T GIVE UP

DON’T GIVE UP

Everyone Has Their Moments

Everyone will have moments from time to time that their dreams seem elusive, fleeting, and perhaps even impossible.  It is precisely at these times that we need to have more faith.  So make sure you hang around those who will inspire, encourage, and lift you up.  Choose your own words carefully too, because words become reality.  Say only that which you want to become your reality.  And finally, understand that the environment shapes us.  Look around you.  Do the people, the conversations, or the surroundings reflect who you are or what you aspire to be?  I remember a point in my life where the people, their conversations and even the environment were discouraging, uninspiring, and depressing.  I did not fit and I knew it.  I made the changes necessary so that my vision of who I was became congruent with my friends and environment.  It was only then that I began to soar!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #4: Inability to Stay Focused

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Okay, so one day you’re working on an important goal and the next thing you know you’re sidetracked and off to something else.   Nothing can derail your dreams faster than distractions.  Staying on track requires a conscious effort. Just because you have a dream and believe in it doesn’t mean that the things of the world will not distract you.  It doesn’t even matter how much you love or desire an outcome.  You’ve got to focus to hit your target.  And, if that target isn’t clear or keeps changing, how do you expect to hit it?  Choose, decide, commit, and stay focused. You’ve got to be willing to let some things go.  You may be able to do anything, but you still can’t do everything.  In ‘ Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha’, he states, “So long as the thoughts of an individual are  scattered he will achieve no results, but if his thinking be concentrated on a single point wonderful will be the fruits thereof.”

Identify Your Distractions and Do Something About Them.

Everyone isn’t distracted by the same things, but everyone is distracted by something.  You’ve got to decide who distracts, what distracts you, when you are distracted, and why you are distracted.  After that, figure out a plan to do something about it. If I know who distracts me, I can limit my time with that person when I need to accomplish something.  If it’s a specific time that I’m distracted, it might be wise to work on my important projects at a different time.   It also wouldn’t hurt to think about why you get so easily distracted either.  Perhaps your goal isn’t fulfilling enough or maybe it isn’t your goal.   Paul Graham calls the television and the internet, “visual crack,” since it is such an addictive distraction and suggests we turn it off or severely limit it.  Arjun Kulchani suggests choosing exciting work and using meditation as a tool for better concentration.   Cave Cheong offers a strategy he calls ‘time boxing‘ among other tips. Leo Babauta thinks we should schedule some ‘distraction time’.  Think about the strategies I’ve offered here and also check these wonderful sources below to pick out some ideas that work for you.

  1. 10 Ways to Eliminate Distractions by Leo Babauta
  2. 18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work by Dave Cheong
  3. 11 Ways of Staying Focused by Dave Cheong
  4. Disconnecting Distraction by Paul Graham
  5. How to Stay Focused by Arjun Kulkani

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.