Category Archives: Diversity and Culture

A Beautiful Example of Unity in Diversity

Posted on by
Reply

This whole conversation on hair began at a dinner when my niece’s fiancee shared how he preferred her natural hair over the relaxed version.  The both of them are a beautiful example of unity in diversity.  It’s so beautiful when someone sees your true beauty and encourages you to be yourself.  I don’t know about you, but if two young lawyers from Georgetown have managed to overcome cultural barriers to instead see the love within another, are respecting each others diversity, giving their wedding gifts to charity, and using their talents for the betterment of humanity, then I say our future is bright.

My future nephew already calls me “Aunt Barbara” and my sister “Mom”.  He shared how he intended to teach their future children about their culture and my niece commented that he knew even more than she did about African-American history.  My niece is a beaming bright light in her own right, kind, generous, outgoing, and radiant with a mature and balanced sense of self.  She and her fiance are in the midst of planning for their September wedding which will have two ceremonies to honor both of their backgrounds.  They shared the Hindi wedding tradition of the couple “giving gifts” to the aunts and asked if I would like a saree or sari.   Of course I said, “Yes!”  I am so excited about the merging of our families and the merging of our cultures.

Unity in Diversity

Some things changed while others stay the same.  For example in marrying my niece he had to break from the Indian tradition of “arranged marriages,” but will keep the tradition of the grandparents playing a big role in the rearing of the children.  In fact his parents shared how they were willing to move wherever the couple settles to be there to take care of the grandchildren.  And, they are not doing it out of a sense of duty and tradition, but one of love, service, and family unity.  Now that’s a lesson in diversity that I hope catches on!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

What Message Does Hair Communicate?

Posted on by
Reply
Hair

Hair

There’s so much talk about loving what God gave us when it comes to hair and then there is reality. I just Googled ‘hair’ and clicked on images, and browsed through 150 pictures before seeing a picture of a model with natural black hair on page 6. Rihanna was on page three with straightened hair. Finally on page 8 there were several, I paused to reflect on the imagery of the photos and the placement.  How many people click through 8 pages of searches?  The image to the left, is ” no comment.”  The image to the right which was next to it shows someone looking annoyed at her hair.  What message is this sending.  I think she looks beautiful.

Weaving and Dreading

I know, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  But media influences perceptions.  Also on the page was a picture of a black woman selling weave hair with a caption that really reinforced the negative media perceptions of black folks. You’ll have to search for it yourself.  Type in “hair’ and go to page eight and while you’re at it, type in “dreads” and tell me what you think of the images portrayed.  I have my own opinion, but I’d love to hear yours.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Love Your Natural + Resources for “Going Natural”

Posted on by
Reply

This post is primarily aimed at those who’ve gone natural or dreaded their hair.  What kinds of responses did (or do) to get from others?  Have you noticed a difference?  I’ve heard the comments.  My nephew was discouraged or at most “tolerated” for wanting to dread his hair.  Fortunately he had a mother who wore dreads and she supported his desire to wear his hear however he wanted it.  But, what’s up with those that discouraged him? Most said that it was because they wanted to protect him from the racism he would experience.  I don’t doubt that that is a valid premise, but how much do we need to give up to be accepted?  And if we are only accepted by changing ourselves, are we really being accepted?   Most cultures can get up, get in the shower, wash and shake their hair, and go.

Who Needs to Accept, Us or Them?

I know that twenty and thirty years ago I straightened my hair to fit in.  That’s what the women around me did and so did I.  A funny thing happened though a couple of years ago, I cut my hair for a photo shoot and decided to not relax it anymore.  After the relaxed hair grew out and was cut off, I found my own natural texture and I “loved it.”  Now I can blow dry it straight when I want a different look and wear natural when I want to. To think I was putting those toxic chemicals on my scalp for years and didn’t even need to.  And, as I got older, I was adding dye too when I could have used a natural henna.  I had done it so long that I didn’t realize the world had changed but I hadn’t, for people that were not of African American heritage actually liked my hair and commented more positively than “my own peeps.”

Resources for Going Natural

I also remember feeling very weird and out of place at an African American event at Howard University when most people were natural and at the time my hair was relaxed.  One of the presenters actually made a comment about us people with “fried hair.”  Fortunately, now we have more support if we wish to go natural, from sites like Naturally Curly, Carol’s Daughter, Curly Nikki , and Uncle Funky’s Daughter. I know in the past I relaxed my hair and my daughters’ hair because it was easier to maintain.  We probably were also subconsciously programmed to think that we “looked better too”.  Now we’ve got resources to help with the transition if we choose that route.  But, the goal is to love yourself and feel free enough to choose your way of expressing yourself without judgement.  Well that’s our food for thought for today.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Race and Hair: Militancy, Image, and Politics

Posted on by
Reply

I remember during the presidential elections, when opponents were trying to disparage Michelle Obama, they put up a picture of her with an Afro.  They also negatively portrayed she and President Obama’s fist bump in the same picture while clothing him in Muslim garb.  (Don’t even get me started about diversity and religion, that’s a whole other series.)   So, I could empathize with my niece in being cautious about going natural in today’s business world for I too was subjected to the playful jeers of being called “Florida Evans and Angela Davis.”  I was even shown the traditional “black power fist ” (reminiscent of the Black Power movement) when I wore my hair natural.  Surprisingly most of the comments were from my own family.  If my family felt this way, what could I expect from a world still engulfed in issues of race, identity, and challenges accepting diversity and difference?  So even  though I’ve stopped chemically relaxing my hair, I’m still blow drying it straighter than it was before I relaxed it.  What’s up with that?  I’m still processing.

What subconscious fears, messages, and memories are associated with the these figures that I was jokingly and condescendingly associated with?

BTW.  I see it as an honor to be associated with either of these two trailblazers and sheroes. According to an online biography, Esther Rolle (Florida Evans on Good Times)  “Compelled to fight racial stereotypes, insisted before accepting the series that a strong father figure be central in the show (actor John Amos).   She even left the show for a season protesting the negative role model perpetuated by Jimmie Walker’s jive-talking J.J. character.   Angela Davis was indeed controversial, but must be admired for fighting for what she believed in.  Today she is still fighting for justice by fighting against the prison industrial complex that has become today’s sanctioned form of human enslavement providing a steady supply of cheap prison labor for big business at the expense of rehabilitation.

 So let’s talk  candidly about hair, militancy, and image.  Do you think that some of our reactions to wearing our hair natural are subconscious fears from being associated with those who have been political targets , ostracized, and labeled as militant?   And to those baby boomers who are not African American, what images do natural hair conjure?

Please don’t just read and nod, share your opinions.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Race and Hair: Do You Wear Your Hair Natural?

Posted on by
1

Appreciating Our Natural Hair

I am so happy to soon be witnessing a beautiful example of unity in diversity as demonstrated in my niece’s upcoming nuptials.   I was heartened by the unique respect for diversity that she and her fiance both live and breathe.  He is Indian and Hindu; she is Christian and African-American.  Yes, this is the same couple that is donating their wedding gifts to charity.  So it’s not their diversity alone that make them special, but their character.  I sat in awe at a recent dinner as my niece’s fiance expressed his knowledge of the plight of African American’s in history, his love for the natural texture of my niece’s hair, and his love and respect for both my niece and sister.

He was the one she explained that encouraged her to “go back natural.” She commented that while “going natural” that she had more challenges with people from within our own culture than from the outside.

What Does Hair Mean to You?

Last month I spoke to an audience in Florida at an event organized by 100 Concerned Black Women and the topic of hair came up.  My co-presenter Iris Cooper had cut off her hair and a lady in the audience who self reportedly had worn wigs most of her life challenged why she did it.  The next day the older lady came to a followup session dawning her own hair.  She recounted how freeing it was.  She somehow had felt she needed validation, permission, and acceptance to free herself.  She explained how all her life she was called ugly because of her short hair.  And, now there is another trend, cutting off our hair that we’ve taken so long to grow and  letting go of what “long hair” means.  How do you feel about cutting your hair off?   It appears that we’ve still got a lot of work to do before we get to the point that we realize that we don’t all have to look the same and can see our own naturalness as beautiful.  What does your hair mean to you? Does it represent beauty, culture, image, or identity.  Is it your crown or crowning glory?  Please comment and share “your hair story.”

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.