Facebook Etiquette As I See It

Today, I’d like to talk about Facebook Etiquette. We each have our own wall, page, and status.  Each time I log onto Facebook,  the robo program greets me with, “What’s happening Barbara?” or “How are you doing Barbara?”  or  “How’s it going Barbara?”  The common thread in all of these questions are ‘Barbara.’  It’s designed to get an update about ME!  I know that you receive similar prompts. It seems so simple, yet it isn’t.  For some reason people think that a person’s personal status is a place to update information about THEM.  It is for that reason that I decided to share what’s on my mind today, Facebook etiquette.



My STATUS, is MY status. YOUR status is YOUR status. I get to go to your page and see what you’re up to and you get to come to mind to find out what I’m up to. MY status is like my personal desk, home on the web, or brand. It reflects MY interests and values. I decide what goes on it. Each day it asks, ‘What’s on MY MIND?  I share that information with like-minded folks like you who have befriended me. My goal for my site is to be diversity friendly, respectful, zero profanity, motivating, and to education on things that matter, uplift, and make us better.

Underneath each message is a place to COMMENT, SHARE, or LIKE.  If you think it is something I’d be interested in, send me a private message and I will be notified. If it is of interest to my friends, I’ll share it.That is how we interact and I get to know what you feel about my topic.  Please continue to do that. That’s how we communicate. So many of you do that now and I thank you and that makes Facebook a rewarding experience.


On my WALL I get to see the messages of those whom I have befriended. I love that. I can then choose to select those messages that resonate with me and put them on my wall. If you think it is something I’d be interested in, send me a private message and I will be notified. If it is of interest to my friends, I’ll share it. If you’ve got an event, thought, product, or service you think  I’d be interested in, send me a private message and I will be notified. If it is of interest to my friends, I WILL share it.

MY status is a place to share with my unique friends. That remains my choice. Good etiquette means that people don’t decide what to put on MY status (without permission.) That’s what their status if for, to put the messages of their choice to create their own unique brand, style, and on-line personality.  I get to see each of your interests, on-line personalities, and values on my wall or your status.


Next, we have GROUPS we can subscribe to that encourage us to post whatever we want. Each group has a vision, culture, and LIKE-MINDED people who are invited there because of their connections and like interests. And, finally we have PAGES to sell products, invite people to events, and to promote your brand. [NOTE: While it’s best to create a page for selling, you can in limited amounts share info ON YOUR OWN status to DIRECT PEOPLE TO YOUR PAGE, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER SELL YOUR STUFF ON ANOTHER PERSON’S personal status page. It’s just not good etiquette. I’m learning like many of you. Hope this helps. Please share your FB Etiquette best practices and annoyances below.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

RGIII – The Newest Member of the NBC (Not Black enough Club)

Screen Shot 2012-12-14 at 8.28.02 PMESPN Commenter Parker made the remark that Robert Griffin (RGIII) wasn’t black enough and the Stuff#*@ hit the fan. As a celebrity, he’s now a proud member of the “Black, but Not Black Enough Club” joining the likes of POTUS Obama, Tiger Woods, Clarence Thomas, and OJ Simpson.  Comments flew from outraged people from both sides of the fence;  some  were agitated that ESPN would censor the black commenter from speaking his mind and others incensed that we’re still talking race in 2012.  Robert Parker called out Griffin on the air, asking: ”Is he a brother, or is he a cornball brother?” Some of Parker’s rationale for calling RGIII “NOT black enough” was his engagement to a white woman, talk of him being a Republican, and that he was “not real.” One African-American person commenting on the ordeal on www.yourblackworld.com responded:

“Being Black is a matter of political reality that affects and is affected by the words, deeds, actions, and experiences of other black people. That being said, EVERY black person that is a part of that experience has a right to an opinion. That includes “how black” somebody else is or isn’t based on how they conduct themselves, what they say, and what they are about. Ali understood this. Jim Brown understood this. Hell even Doug Williams understood this.” 

In closing, the conversation may begin with the question “What is Black Enough?” But, personally, I don’t think that is the right question to ask.  We need some honest education, engagement, and intelligent conversations around this emotionally charged issue of race.  It has become intertwined with culture, nationality, and ethnicity.  As a society, we pretend racism doesn’t exist.  Some even block it out all together. I’ve been told, “I don’t see your color.”  But, my color is part of me although it doesn’t define me. Let me explain it this way.  If I were a red rose in a vase of white roses, my color would be a beautiful attribute of my identity and I would be contributing to the beauty of the bouquet by being noticed.  First and foremost, I’d still be a rose, equal to all the other roses and not some other minor specie. The key is to get to the point where we recognize color but don’t judge by it.  I’ll sum it up in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who dealt with race and identity on a daily basis, but still understood the most important criteria for identifying a person was by their character.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Christopher Peterson after addressing this issue about character in Psychology Today  sums it up with: “Perhaps Dr. King’s dream would be realized if we choose to look at actual people and not the demographic groups in which we so conveniently and carelessly place them. Good one, Christopher!  While many might assert that this is a “non issue,” apparently it is a an issue and a big one for millions. A quick google search came up with the following hits in less than a minute:  817,000,000 results (0.32 seconds)  on the term “Black Enough”,  7,510,000 results (0.42 seconds) on the term “Black Enough Griffin” and  255,000,000 results (0.46 seconds)  on the term “Black Enough Obama.”  Hundreds of millions of people are searching, thinking, and interested in this term.  So I ask you three questions, 1) “What does it mean to be black enough?” 2) “Who gets to define what black is? And, 3) “How, where, and with whom do we address the question of race once and for all? (Please comment!)

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

America’s Diversity Votes and Wins!

Even beyond the excessive attempts to disenfranchise voters, in spite of an effigy of the President with a noose around his neck, and even with so many other disparaging and racial sentiments arising out of the 2012 campaign, I am more hopeful and proud of my country than ever. American’s voted that they care about each other.  Even when they may not agree with each others ideologies or lifestyles, they still voted that everyone should be included and deserves to be counted and have civil rights.  The landscape is changing and I am optimistic about the future for the following reasons!

  1. America’s first African-American president wins not only the majority of electoral votes but also the popular vote, the most successful Democratic candidate since FDR by margins.
  2. The 113th Congress will have at least 19 female senators – more than ever in U.S. history.
  3.  Hawaii elects America’s first Asian senator.
  4. Wisconsin elects America’s first openly gay senator.
  5. Nevada elects Steven Horsford, its first African American Congressman.
  6. Voting was up for African Americans, young people, and Latinos despite the unprecedented number (25) of voter suppression laws passed last year.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

First- Protect The Children

What I learned at last month’s Congressional Black Caucus’s Braintrusts and Issue Forums:

Everyone deserves a quality education, but a quality early childhood education is not available to all children.  Clearly the odds are not in favor for poor children.  Budgets are being cut despite  the decades of research affirming without a doubt that early childhood educational programs like Head-start can give at-risk children the chance the succeed.

Other Daunting Facts:

Ten thousand black and brown children are imprisoned every day.  “The annual cost of detention can average around $50,000 per minor while most community-based programs cost less than one-fourth that amount.”  “Research shows that incarcerating youth does not make us safer—in fact, it undermines public safety. Detention often propels a youth in a direction that leads to behaviors responsible for the recidivism rates of 50% to 80% for incarcerated youth. ”

The Rebecca Project states: “There are now between 100,000 and 300,000 adolescents in the American sex trade market, most between 12 and 14.” We continue to punish those who have already been punished by society.

A flyer distributed by the Campaign for the Fair Sentencing of Youth: Racial Inequality in Youth Sentencing‘ and their website offered these facts:

  1. “In schools, youth of color are more likely to be expelled or suspended, but there is no evidence that they misbehave more than their white counterparts.”
  2. “They are, however, punished more severely, often for behaviors that are less serious.”
  3.  “45% of all incarcerated youth are African American even though they only make up 17% of the population.”
  4. “The United States is the only country in the world where a person under the age of 18 can be sentenced to a life without parole. “
  5.  “Youth crime rates have dropped steadily since the 1990s, yet rates of incarcerating youth have increased.
  6. “According to the Coalition for Juvenile Justice, the number of youth held in pre-trial detention has increased 72% since the early 1990s.”
  7. “African American youth are 10 times more likely than their white peers to be sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.  This is just one example of disparities in sentencing: a 2001 Journal of Law and Economics empirical study of sentencing in federal courts found that, on average, African Americans of all ages are given sentences twice as long as whites.”

Congressman Scott representing Virginia’s 3rd District has introduced the Youth Promise Act as a solution.  I’ll discuss his and other successful projects you can support in an upcoming post.

I Lead: I Serve

I attended the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) last month and am still processing the overwhelmingly high number of  distressing statistics and information that was presented.  From unprecedented unemployment and foreclosures, unequal application of justice, distorted and stereotypical images that lead to esteem issues, the critical importance of astuteness with technology, the politics of fear, the importance of entrepreneurship for wealth creation, to the guiding and protecting our young folks, the challenges facing people of color far exceed those of white America.

The theme of the CBC was I Lead: I Serve.  True service is in finding a need and filling it.  The topics presented at the CBC offered many paths of service for anyone who wants to make a difference.  Most people have grandiose dreams of being successful and great, but real success comes from being a leader.  And, if you want to be a leader, the path is through service, just find a need and fill it. Too much of present day propaganda pushes us toward looking out for self only.  But true fulfillment comes from meaningful pursuits, and those usually  involve serving others.  As the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, ” Anybody can be great because everybody can serve.”  Although all the topics are worthy of discussion now, it is the sobering plight of our youth that haunts me the most.  If you think the adults have it bad, check out my next post about the children whose future is even more dismal if we don’t do something now!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.