Facebook Etiquette As I See It

Today, I’d like to talk about Facebook Etiquette. We each have our own wall, page, and status.  Each time I log onto Facebook,  the robo program greets me with, “What’s happening Barbara?” or “How are you doing Barbara?”  or  “How’s it going Barbara?”  The common thread in all of these questions are ‘Barbara.’  It’s designed to get an update about ME!  I know that you receive similar prompts. It seems so simple, yet it isn’t.  For some reason people think that a person’s personal status is a place to update information about THEM.  It is for that reason that I decided to share what’s on my mind today, Facebook etiquette.



My STATUS, is MY status. YOUR status is YOUR status. I get to go to your page and see what you’re up to and you get to come to mind to find out what I’m up to. MY status is like my personal desk, home on the web, or brand. It reflects MY interests and values. I decide what goes on it. Each day it asks, ‘What’s on MY MIND?  I share that information with like-minded folks like you who have befriended me. My goal for my site is to be diversity friendly, respectful, zero profanity, motivating, and to education on things that matter, uplift, and make us better.

Underneath each message is a place to COMMENT, SHARE, or LIKE.  If you think it is something I’d be interested in, send me a private message and I will be notified. If it is of interest to my friends, I’ll share it.That is how we interact and I get to know what you feel about my topic.  Please continue to do that. That’s how we communicate. So many of you do that now and I thank you and that makes Facebook a rewarding experience.


On my WALL I get to see the messages of those whom I have befriended. I love that. I can then choose to select those messages that resonate with me and put them on my wall. If you think it is something I’d be interested in, send me a private message and I will be notified. If it is of interest to my friends, I’ll share it. If you’ve got an event, thought, product, or service you think  I’d be interested in, send me a private message and I will be notified. If it is of interest to my friends, I WILL share it.

MY status is a place to share with my unique friends. That remains my choice. Good etiquette means that people don’t decide what to put on MY status (without permission.) That’s what their status if for, to put the messages of their choice to create their own unique brand, style, and on-line personality.  I get to see each of your interests, on-line personalities, and values on my wall or your status.


Next, we have GROUPS we can subscribe to that encourage us to post whatever we want. Each group has a vision, culture, and LIKE-MINDED people who are invited there because of their connections and like interests. And, finally we have PAGES to sell products, invite people to events, and to promote your brand. [NOTE: While it’s best to create a page for selling, you can in limited amounts share info ON YOUR OWN status to DIRECT PEOPLE TO YOUR PAGE, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER SELL YOUR STUFF ON ANOTHER PERSON’S personal status page. It’s just not good etiquette. I’m learning like many of you. Hope this helps. Please share your FB Etiquette best practices and annoyances below.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

5 Tips for Overcoming Fear for Beginning Entrepreneurs

This is 2014, I celebrate 27 years of being in business for myself.  In this series I share twelve  tips on how to not be afraid to go into business.  The first four are: Facing Fear, Having A Compelling Why?, Opportunity, and Timing.

  1. To Fear or Not to Fear Is Not the Deciding Factor:  I started my business in 1987 and I can’t honestly say that I wasn’tafraid back then for I’m sure I felt something.  I could name that energy excitement or name it fear.  But, what I’d like to say about fear is, even if you are afraid, DO IT ANYWAY! You will be afraid sometimes; that’s life.  The only way to overcome fear is to face it. If you allow all of those negative “What If” questions to take hold, you’ll never go into business.   Sometimes that fear is cathartic; other times it’s cancerous.  If it points out essential knowledge, skills, and resources you need, acknowledge it and then figure out how to get what you need.
  2. Our decisions are either FEAR-based or FAITH-based, one excites you, the other paralyzes you.  But in the end, fear is only a thought.  You have to consciously focus on that thought in order for it to derail you.  So the solution is clear. Don’t focus on what you fear or don’t want!  If you want to start a business, you have a lot to be thinking about, the name, the business structure, the product, the team, the marketing (benefits), the money, the audience, the delivery method etc.  Will you go it alone or will you choose at network marketing company. Once you decide you have something viable to offer, focus on that and you’ll have very little time left over to just worry.
  3. Must Have A Compelling Why?– Begin by asking yourself the question, “Why do I want to go into business?” The answer to that question must be compelling enough to carry you through the fear, the doubt, the naysayers, the frustration, and the despair that you will no doubt experience at some time.  My “WHY” was that I wanted to work at home, to be able to guide and protect my kids.  I didn’t know how I was going to do it at that time.  In retrospect, none of that really mattered anyway.  The universe takes care of ‘how’ for committed faithful people.  I just had to DECIDE to do it and set a goal.  If you’ve got something that the world needs, share it! My compelling ‘WHY’ was to save my kids and I didn’t want them to be latch-key kids.  My “WHY” kept me going through the fear.
  4. Seize the Opportunity and Just Do It!= There will never be a perfect time to go into business.  Although I had set a 6-year goal to go into business, I actually accomplished it within a couple of years.  I had to decide to do it and then start doing it. I’d like to say I had a great plan, but I didn’t at first.  Some read a book about how to drive and then drive.  Others, like myself watch other people and then just do it.  I learned how to be in business by “just jumping in.  It was “sink or swim,” so I learned how to swim.  Now if you’ve got the option to dip your feet in the water, by all means, do that if that will ease your fear.  Now, I’ve found that only serious wholehearted and unlimited faith, hard work, and tenacity will keep you going, but first you’ve got to get going.
  5. Don’t Wait for the Perfect Time– There never will be a perfect time.  And, it was not the perfect time for me either.  I was 7 months pregnant, laid off from my job, had a teen on drugs,  had no money to start a business, and within a couple of months I would be giving birth to my 5th child.  But, I didn’t allow excuses into the equation;  I focused on my ‘WHY.”  I had to act like I was in business.  So I started telling folks, setting up my office, and preparing myself.  Word, got around and I got some business and was “in business.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

Facing Change With Faith

With all the fear in the air, it’s easy to get paralyzed, confused, and apathetic.  But, for leaders and winners, change implies, taking charge.  And, those that take charge are noticed and rewarded! We have a choice; we can be swept up by change or we can learn to face it, embrace it, and manage it.  We must be firm, yet flexible at the same time.  Spencer Johnson’s #1 bestseller, ‘Who Moved My Cheese’ tackles this subject with humor and insight.  If you haven’t read it already, you’ll want to read it. It inspires great thought and offers a wonderful perspective on how to deal with change.  In it he uses four characters, Sniff and Scurry and Hem and Haw to represent the search for cheese in the maze of life.

What’s Your Cheese?

The Cheese in the story is symbolic of whatever we spend our lives searching for to make us happy.  The maze represents the search for our own particular cheese and the twists and turns in life we encounter defining our cheese, locating our cheese, enjoying our cheese, protecting our cheese, and preparing for when our cheese is moved.  The characters Sniff and Scurry are represented as mice. Their lives are simple and uncomplicated. They search and find cheese using a trial and error method. They have a routine that works.  They arise early, race to work, do what they need to do and enjoy the cheese they find. They always stay prepared, alert, and ready to make changes when they are necessary without over analyzing the situation.  When the cheese moves, they move.

Stop Hemming and Haw-ing

Hem and Haw are Little People.  Their lives are a bit more complicated.  They wind up at the same place as the mice and enjoy the cheese for many years.  They get complacent however and don’t plan for change.  They don’t stay prepared.  They don’t remain alert, and they have no contingency plans.  They expect that the cheese they have found will always be there.  They also expect that if it moves, they are entitled to be compensated.  Even when it becomes obvious that the cheese is no longer there, they ignore blatant facts.  All four characters however, each based on their vision, values, and virtues search for their own kind of cheese, define what cheese means to them, and handle change in their own way.

So,  what are you searching for in life?  What does that goal you’ve defined really mean to you?  Changes will happen, if they haven’t already, stay tuned.  If they have already happened and are making your goal more elusive, what are you doing about it?  Are you hemming and haw-ing?  Or are you facing change with faith and realizing that it’s time to sniff out a new plan, stop procrastinating, and scurry and find your happiness.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

12 Ways to Overcome the FEAR of Entrepreneurship (Part 3)

This article discusses the final four of twelve in ‘How to Not Be Afraid to Go into Business: Don’t Give Up, Protecting Yourself from Negative People, Hard Work, and Necessity in Excelling in What You Do.

  1. Don’t Give Up:  Just Change with The Times– As I mentioned, I’ve been in business almost 24 years and there have been some very good years and very bad years.  Instead of giving up, I’ve had to re-invent myself over and over through the years and change with the tides.  Your business must be fluid and flexible.  Sometimes I changed my products, sometimes my delivery method, other times, it was my audience.  Although I started off doing computer training, I made several transformations over the decades, to corporate trainer for Diversity, Leadership, and Sexual Harassment, then to Time Management, Goal Setting, and then Effective Communications.  Then I became a motivational speaker and author of six books and counting.  Just ask yourself regularly, “How can I  best serve my audience with my unique talents and abilities?”
  2. Protect Yourself from Naysayers, Negative folks, and Toxic People– One of hardest challenges I had to overcome was convincing those closest to me to stick with me through the hard times.  When money was flowing, things were good, but it when it wasn’t, I faced challenges in the business, my relationships, my finances, and my self-esteem.  You pretty much have to have a “thick skin”, unconditional faith and perseverance, and the ability to keep yourself motivated. That is why I had to carefully choose those who I allowed in my front seats.  Join like-minded associations, get out and network, and partner with others.
  3. Work As Hard for Yourself as You Do for Others– Once you go into business, you have to work as hard for yourself as you did for others.  In fact, you will probably have to work even harder.  When I was an employee, I was only responsible for a few set of tasks.  Once I became self employed, I was responsible for everything, taxes, course development, marketing, delivery of service, billing, self improvement, etc.  Now, one thing I’ve learned that I would do differently is that you must do what you do best and partner with or hire others to do what they do best. I had to become a “Superwoman” to take care of six kids, run a business, and save my sanity.  Now that’s a  topic for another time.
  4. Excel in Your Craft– My motto was to learn something every single day to better myself.  After every course I gave,  I harshly critiqued myself and updated my course materials  before the next time I gave that course again.  I always asked for feedback.  Sometimes it was harsh and hurtful, but I learned from all of  it.  But be careful, don’t focus too long on the negative.   I remember once re-thinking my decision to do Diversity training because one person was so rude, critical,  and cruel.  But instead, I focused on the hundreds of people who loved the course, and were changed by and appreciative of it.  Just do your best and keep listening and improving.  For most of my entrepreneurial career I survived on referrals.  I always tried to do more than was expected, be professional, and keep improving.  If you do that, you’ll excel, your customers will be happy and you will be in business for years.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

12 Ways to Overcome the FEAR of Entrepreneurship (Part 2)

Part two of ‘How to Not Be Afraid to Go Into Business‘ discusses the next four considerations:  Faith, Relationships, Benefits, Learning from Mistakes.

  1. Faith Will Get You Through– I had to focus on the benefits of being in business not the challenges of being in business.  I had to believe in and focus on the my goal.  The challenges will come anyway in time, so deal with them then.  To focus on the problems in  advance is called “worry” and is a waste of your precious and limited time. Armed with only a vision, a dream, and the support of my husband, I went into business.  I had been working for years doing computer training and getting contracts for other firms.  I had to have faith that it was possible to do the same for myself.  But the first and most important person I had to convince was myself.  I had to believe in myself and my abilities.  I had to make a decision and put all my faith and energy behind it through action.
  2. Hang Around People Who Are Business Minded– If you ask someone who is not in business for encouragement, you may not get the support you need.  Ask someone who is already in business for encouragement, advice, and guidance.   Would you ask someone who has never traveled if you should travel?  Would you ask someone who has never had children if you should have them or how to raise them?  Would you ask someone who dropped out of school if you should get a higher education and how to go about it?  I think I’ve made my point.  Associate with people who have been where you want to go or who are currently going in the same direction you are.
  3. Must Have Something of Benefit to Offer Others- It’s easier to go into business if you are convinced you have something of benefit to offer others.  Learn about the unique benefits you have to offer and then “share” those benefits with your potential customers.  Don’t focus so much on the money or selling, but instead on the service.  Most people fear “selling” their wares, but it is not selling if people need it.  You are servicing people when you offer them what they need at a fair price and with superior quality.  In fact, the Baha’i Faith describes this as “worship”, any service performed in the spirit of service and done to excellence.
  4. Learn from Your Mistakes–  Just stay in the mood of learning.  Of course you will make mistakes, but that’s part of growing.  The tree most pruned bears the best fruit, right?   Just don’t give up.  In fact, it isn’t a mistake if you learn something.  Every challenge you overcome builds more confidence.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.