Category Archives: Leadership and Change

Part 5: May Day- Earl Nightingale Defines Success

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Continued from Wisdom of Dale Carnegie, http://wp.me/ppImQ-qS

“Man Becomes What He Thinks About Most”

Success as defined by Earl Nightingale is, the “Progressive realization of a worthy ideal…  If a man is working toward a predetermined goal and knows where he is going, that man is a success.  If he doesn’t, he is a failure.” His “secret” to success was, “Man becomes what he thinks about most.”

So, I ask you to think about what you spend your time thinking the most about, your end goal or your obstacles, your fears or your success, your dreams or your doubts?    Mr. Nightingale was asked, “If it is that simple to achieve success just by thinking about it,  why don’t men use their minds more?” He responded that we receive our minds as standard equipment at birth, and it’s free. “Things that are given to us for nothing, we place little value upon.  Things we have to pay money for, we value.”

If You Want More Out of Life, Give More!

That’s the paradox he says, for the complete opposite is true. Everything that is of value, our minds, souls, dreams, intelligence, etc. are free.  The bible also affirms the simplicity of reaching success, “For everyone that askest, receiveth.”  Most people want more out of life than they are receiving.  His response to this was, “If you want more, provide more service.”  If you give less service, you will receive less compensation.  I guess in other words he’s saying, “We reap what we sow.”

Only 5% of People Are Successes

Earl Nightingale once made an astounding observation, and that is 95% of the people in life are unsuccessful.  That means that only 5% are living the life of their dreams.   He defines success as doing what you really want to do in life. It doesn’t matter so much what you do, as long as you choose to do it and it makes you happy.  If you choose to be a dancer, mother, janitor, or CEO, and you are doing it or making progress towards it, you are successful.  All of the truly successful people agree that success is not about money, but more about meaning, joy, purpose, and fulfillment.  It means taking advantage of the free will we have been given, choosing what we really want from the universe of possibilities, and then faithfully, confidently and steadily doing what we must to move closer to our ultimate outcome.

To continue to Part 6: Earl Nightengale Defines Success, http://wp.me/ppImQ-rt

c) 2010, Barbara S. Talley- All Rights Reserved

Barbara Talley is a keynote speaker, author of six books, and trainer on value-based living themes.  She also offers Effective Communication, Diversity, Leadership, Time Management, and Goal Setting workshops.  Visit her at www.thepoetspeaks.com or contact her at 301-428-4831.  You may email her at Barbara@ThePoetSpeaks.com.

21 Tips to Help You Spring Forward: Part 1

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Spring Symbolizes Change

Don’t Fight It:  Go With the Flow!

In honor of the momentous arrival of spring on March 21st, I’d like to share 21 tips to help you spring forward in your personal, business, and spiritual life.   Don’t just sit there lethargically accepting mediocrity,  fate, or chance.  Get up, spring forward, pounce ahead, move onward, leap, twirl, soar…  Go after your dreams.  Make life really matter.  Appreciate life more by living it more fully.

Pick the life you want from the universal catalog of possibilities; plan for it, prepare for it, and promote yourself right now.  Don’t wait for others to see your greatness.  Give yourself permission to go after your dreams with faith, fervor, and fastidiousness.

Seven of 21 Best Spring Forward Tips

  1. Decide what you want and go after it.  Indecision wastes valuable time and energy. Decide, ask, believe, act, and receive.
  2. Have a spiritual or rejuvenating daily routine.  It can be as simple as having a few moments to quiet the mind and center yourself, to a longer time complete with prayer and meditation.
  3. Don’t sacrifice the most important for things of lesser value.  Don’t choose the easiest, quickest, or most comfortable.  Choose what will have the most impact and add the most meaning to your life.
  4. Get organized.  You waste time and money looking for things.  Have a place for your things and keep those things in their place.
  5. Limit interactions with contentious, complaining, toxic and negative people.  They dissipate your energy.
  6. Get enough sleep, fresh air, exercise, and nutritious foods.  Honor your soul’s earthly temple and treat it right.
  7. Work smart, not hard.  Always ask, “Is there a more efficient or faster way to do this?”   Or, “Should I be doing this at all?”  Remember, “No is a good answer too!”

Click to read the next 7 tips: http://wp.me/ppImQ-iG

The Holiday Season Isn’t A Swap Meet

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The holiday season isn’t about a swap meet.  It’s supposed to be a ‘heart’ meet, where people connect and celebrate the religious, cultural, or social significance of the season.

Focus on the Season, But Don’t Forget the Reason

Just as it is important to reflect on the reason for the season, it is equally important to focus on the reason for giving.   Many do not give ‘just for the joy of giving’, but instead give as a reciprocal duty or obligation.  Someone gives you a gift and you feel obligated to give back.  In this heartless exchange, no one wins.

When you miss the spirit of giving, little thought is put into the gift itself.  You look for a good sale where the price is reasonable and the discount is huge.  You leave on the full price sticker so that it appears that you spent more than you actually did.  The gift may even be something that the person cannot or will not value, use, or appreciate.  In some cases you may just regift something you were given that you don’t want.

Put Your Heart Into It

When the heart is not in the gift and no serious thought is taken to think about what would make the other person happy, the gift can trigger the opposite emotion.  Instead of bringing joy, it could backfire and make the receiver angry especially if they feel that their gift was more expensive or more thoughtful than the one that they received.  We can avoid a lot of this when we give for the sake of giving and realize that a gift is its own reward.  Radiance and I have a private story about this very same thing.  She went out of her way to give a friend a very generous gift and was very displeased with the gift she got in return.  To this day she calls the girl, “crappy gift giver.’

My humble advice to you, if you can’t give with the right attitude, then it’s probably better to not give at all.  After all, it is the season to be jolly and if you’re not happy, then you’ve missed the point!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.
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21 Life Lessons by Barbara S. Talley

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Anyone that knows my story knows that I have lived a life full of challenges and tests.   So, that only means that I have learned a lot of lessons and have managed to consistently make lemonade out of the lemons.  Fortunately, I love lemonade!  Three of my favorite spiritual quotes on facing challenges are: “The tree most pruned bears the best fruit. “You can’t have a testimony without tests.” And, “I give thee tests because I desire to exalt your station.” I didn’t write those quotes, but I sure can relate to them.  The first I believe is biblical or inspired by biblical principles.  The second I heard from a friend who heard it from someone else.  The last quote is paraphrasing a quote from the Bahai Faith.

Below I am sharing my ‘21 Life Lessons ‘ which I was inspired to do by Erma Bombeck, who shared her life lessons after she learned that she was dying from cancer.  She died in 1996.  I decided to not wait until my deathbed to reflect on my lessons.  Perhaps you will be inspired to do the same.

21 Things I’d Do Differently, If I knew then what I know now…

  1. I would have spent more time developing my talents.  I would have learned to draw, written sooner, published sooner, and spent more time listening to my spirit than to others.
  2. I wouldn’t have stopped singing just because someone told me that I couldn’t sing.
  3. I would have waited to be intimate with someone who loved God, my spirit, and soul more than my body.  I’d have wished that I’d learned sooner the difference between “I love you” and “I lust you.”
  4. I would have stayed home with all my kids when they were under five and loved every moment and made do with less stuff.
  5. I would have insisted on knowing all of my children’s friends and been the mom that had everyone over.
  6. I would have given or thrown away all the stuff I hadn’t used in a year and not allow clutter in my sacred space.  I’d have made my home a ‘fortress for well-being’ instead a warehouse full of useless stuff.
  7. I would have lived a much simpler life and only purchased things that I needed instead of anything that I wanted. I’d have spent less and saved more so that I’d have the money to visit my grandchildren whenever I wanted.  I wouldn’t buy anything that I couldn’t afford.
  8. I would have more dinner parties and time with my friends and not put it off for another work project.
  9. I’d have taken more time to nurture the relationships between my sisters, cousins, and dear friends.  I’ve also have gotten to know my aunts, uncles, and grandmother while they were alive.
  10. I’d have judged less and loved more unconditionally.
  11. I’d have complimented my husband more and helped him to reach his dreams.  I’d have shown him more gratitude for the little things and his belief in me.
  12. I’d have listened to my father’s story and written it down so I could benefit from the lessons when I became his age.  I’d also have written my story as it was happening.
  13. I would have excelled in nutrition and health.  I’d never have stopped running since I loved it.  I’d have exercised more, learned sooner about vitamins, minerals, proteins, vaccines,  and pro-biotics,  and would have done yoga and pilates sooner and religiously.
  14. I’d have hired an interior decorator to make my home beautiful instead of buying a luxury car.
  15. I would have been less trusting of what people said and relied more on what they actually did.
  16. I would never have told a lie, gossiped about another person, or said anything unkind.
  17. I would have respected myself more and not allowed others to make me feel ashamed of myself.
  18. I’d have been kinder to my stepmother and perhaps she would have been able to heal and find love in her heart sooner for me.
  19. Although I did well in school, I would have strived for perfection since I had the capacity.  I would have stayed in school and gotten a PhD before I had kids.
  20. I’d have brushed more, flossed more, and eaten less junk food as a kid and young adult.
  21. I would never have stopped playing.

The good news about my list is that some of them I can still do!

The previous is an excerpt from my book, ‘The Great-Full Heart Challenge’ due out in 2011.  Barbara Talley is a keynote speaker, author, poet, and trainer who can be reached at www.thepoetspeaks.com.

Lessons from Erma Bombeck

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I got the following from an anonymous email encouraging everyone to wear a purple hat and to honor Erma Bombeck’s life. Of course it was the purple hat that caught my eye first.  I’d heard of her, but was not really familiar with her work. But the more I read, the more grateful I felt that someone on the brink of death would take the time to share lessons on how to live a grateful life everyday.

Erma died April 22, 1996.  The best way to show your gratitude for her sharing and to honor her life is to pick one or more of these and apply to your life now!

Erma Bombeck: (written after she found out she was dying from cancer)

  1. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for a day.
  2. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
  3. I would have talked less and listened more.
  4. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
  5. I would have eaten popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
  6. I would have taken the time to listen to grandfather ramble about his youth.
  7. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
  8. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had been sprayed or teased.
  9. I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
  10. I would have cried less while watching television and more watching life.
  11. I would never have bought anything because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
  12. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
  13. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”
  14. There would have been more “I love you’s” and More “I’m Sorrys”
  15. But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it… live it and never give it back.  Stop sweating the small stuff.   Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s’ doing what.  Instead, cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.