21 Ways to Make Your Home a Fortress for Well-Being

21 Ways to Make Your Home Happier

21 Ways to Make Your Home Happier

You’ve heard it said before, “Home is where the heart is.

But the home is so much more. Home should be where your heart, healing, happiness, and humanity are best magnified. If you don’t show or won’t show humanity, forgiveness, kindness, and encouragement at home, then where?  Your home is your loving lab, where you can make mistakes in a loving environment and grow from them. Your home is the place where you GROW your family and pass on your values.  It gets frustrating worrying about all the bad things in the world and feeling hopeless, so focus your energy on the one place where you can make a difference.  Your home is your first responsibility.  Make it more loving, healing, encouraging, and trusting.

Home is a safe place to dream and expect encouragement and support.  We are truly in a sad state of affairs if our homes do not restore us to wholeness. Even worse, when our homes are the cause of our sorrow, depression, fear, and self-devaluing. Your home must become your fortress for well-being, the place you go to heal, restore, and flourish.  It should be the one place where you can let your guard down and be able to trust. It should be the one place where you will have the most influence. What you DO in your home affects its power to heal.  These are 21 Things we do to make our house a home.

  1. We do second chances, and sometimes third, fourth, fifth, sixth…….infinity
  2. We do grace.
  3. We do real.
  4. We do trust.
  5. We do loud; Sometimes, we do real loud!
  6. We do encouragement.
  7. We do mistakes.
  8. We do, “I’m sorry.”
  9. We do hugs.
  10. We do, “I love you.”
  11. We do prayer.
  12. We do faith.
  13. We do forgiveness.
  14. We do gratitude.
  15. We do service.
  16. We do laughter and lots of it!
  17. We do, “Please!”
  18. We do, “Thank You!”
  19. We do “Excuse Me!”
  20. We do, “Let me help you!
  21. We do, “Let go and Let God!  (a whole lot)

I’m Barbara Talley,  The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness

Most are familiar with this quote and who doesn’t want to be more Godly and closer to God?  While many attribute this quote to the Bible, in fact, it is not in the Bible. However cleanliness (purity) is attributed to most spiritual practices, e.g, ablutions before prayers, baptism, etc. Cleanliness means to be pure, free from dirt, marks or stains. The body and our surroundings can be dirty. Our unkind words and deeds can leave marks on our soul and the hearts of others.  Our shameful deeds can leave stains in our memories.  So where did the quote come from? John Wesley spoke in a sermon:

“Let it be observed, that slovenliness is no part of religion; that neither this, nor any text of Scripture, condemns neatness of apparel. Certainly this is a duty, not a sin. ‘Cleanliness is, indeed, next to godliness.’ Sermons No xciii,” On Dress.”

How clean is your mind, body, and soul? The first thing we see in an individual is their physical appearance and that is what many react to, but cleanliness and purity must be present in all things, our dress, our speech, and our deeds. The Baha’i Faith teaches:
“External cleanliness, although it is but a physical thing, hath a great influence upon spirituality (1).”   Cleanliness and sanctity in all conditions are characteristics of pure beings and necessities of free souls.  In all his actions and conduct there must first be purity, then beauty and independence. The channel must be cleansed before it is filled with sweet water. The pure eye comprehendeth the sight and the meeting of God; the pure nostril inhaleth the perfumes of the rose-garden of bounty; the pure heart becometh the mirror of the beauty of truth.”(Abdu’l-Baha, Baha’i World Faith – Abdu’l-Baha Section, p. 333)

The Holiday Season Isn’t A Swap Meet

The holiday season isn’t about a swap meet.  It’s supposed to be a ‘heart’ meet, where people connect and celebrate the religious, cultural, or social significance of the season.

Focus on the Season, But Don’t Forget the Reason

Just as it is important to reflect on the reason for the season, it is equally important to focus on the reason for giving.   Many do not give ‘just for the joy of giving’, but instead give as a reciprocal duty or obligation.  Someone gives you a gift and you feel obligated to give back.  In this heartless exchange, no one wins.

When you miss the spirit of giving, little thought is put into the gift itself.  You look for a good sale where the price is reasonable and the discount is huge.  You leave on the full price sticker so that it appears that you spent more than you actually did.  The gift may even be something that the person cannot or will not value, use, or appreciate.  In some cases you may just regift something you were given that you don’t want.

Put Your Heart Into It

When the heart is not in the gift and no serious thought is taken to think about what would make the other person happy, the gift can trigger the opposite emotion.  Instead of bringing joy, it could backfire and make the receiver angry especially if they feel that their gift was more expensive or more thoughtful than the one that they received.  We can avoid a lot of this when we give for the sake of giving and realize that a gift is its own reward.  Radiance and I have a private story about this very same thing.  She went out of her way to give a friend a very generous gift and was very displeased with the gift she got in return.  To this day she calls the girl, “crappy gift giver.’

My humble advice to you, if you can’t give with the right attitude, then it’s probably better to not give at all.  After all, it is the season to be jolly and if you’re not happy, then you’ve missed the point!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.
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