Change Your Tune: “Make Others’ Happy”

Gratitude is one key to happiness and joy.   Maybe it would benefit us all if we changed our tune just a little bit to include, ‘Tis the season to make others happy.’  Look around you, who is in need of a little care and happiness?   When our focus is on making other’s happy, we are making space for our own joy and grace.

Does the season make you jolly or stressed?

To be happy, sometimes we just need to appreciate and recognize what we already have.  To experience joy, we just need to remember how blessed and loved we are to have a job, or talents, or even a healthy mind and body.

My daughter has been sick for months with a painful neuropathy that none of the doctors can explain; my stepmom had congestive heart failure a week ago and is in the hospital with serious kidney disease, and a friend of mine shared that her mother had a heart attack during the same time.  Spending several days in the hospital with a loved one reminded me even more of the importance of health.   If you have your health, then you have something to truly  be jolly and happy about.  I’m healthy and I’m happy and I am grateful.  I hope you are too!

Give Yourself a Priceless Gift in 2012

So while you’re running around shopping taking advantage of those After Christmas sales, don’t forget about yourself.  What meaningful gift can you give yourself?  I’m not talking about giving yourself more stuff; I’m suggesting that you give yourself something much more precious… time.   Yes, time.  Take out your 2012 calendar right now and mark off some time in it for yourself (in ink) to take care of yourself before it’s filled up with requests, demands, and promises of others.  Treat that time as sacred and consider it as a promise to yourself which you will not break!

Your Health and Sanity Is A Big Rock

Steven Covey talks about the importance of taking care of the most important first.  He uses the analogy of filling a jar with rocks and things and equates that to filling up our lives with things (some important, others not so important).  The big rocks represent the most important things in our lives that give us meaning, joy, and purpose. The small rocks, sand, and water represent the day-to-day duties, distractions, and things we spend our time on.  He suggests that if you first fill the jar up with sand, water, and small stones, then it will be hard if not impossible to get the big rocks in later.

Put the Big Rocks in First

But, if you put the big rocks in first, then the pebbles, then the sand, then the water, you’ll be able to get a lot more in the jar.  We all lead busy complicated lives and we’ve got to decide what our big rocks, pebbles, sand, and water are.  One thing is for sure, your health is a big rock.  Put it in first.  In my life management system, I discuss 10 big rocks.   They are discussed in my ‘On Track, On Fire, and On Purposebook (see home page.)

Mark Off Time For Yourself Right Now!

Be proactive and take control.  Don’t wait and don’t procrastinate.  Mark off at least one day for yourself for each month.  You need at least that amount of time to rest, reflect, and recharge yourself.  Why not do it right now?  Give yourself the gift of a day to relax, plan, read, pray, meditate, walk, hike, sing, dance, visit friends, get a massage, get a pedicure, or to just play.  Relaxation and reflection are good for the mind, body, and soul.  Out of 365 days, don’t you think you deserve at least  twelve for yourself?  This gift doesn’t cost you anything but does  show how much you value yourself!  And when you are refreshed and feel valued, you are happier, make better decisions, and are more productive.

Block of 1 Hour a Day

Now, if you really love yourself, set some goals for prayer, meditation, exercising, transforming your health, developing your talents and hobbies, and for a restful vacation.  Still have your calendar out?  Well, mark off a 3-hour block each week for planning and one hour each day for reflection.    Consider your scheduled time as a promise and honor it.

You Can’t Live on Purpose by Accident

So now you’re on a roll.  Schedule some meaningful time with your family or significant other and share the joy.  We all want lives of meaning and purpose, but you can’t live on purpose by accident.  You’ve got to plan for it. Once you get in the habit of planning, you’ll want to make sure you’ve put in the big rocks in for your mind, body, soul, service to others, career, money, home, family, hobbies, and  relationships.  And when you begin to see the importance of all of these, you’ll have no time to waste on insignificant things.  Self awareness, self control, and self actualization, now that would be priceless!

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

23 Gifts That Cost Little or Nothing

Sometimes we forget that the best things in life are really free.  Giving doesn’t have to be about physical things.  Most of the stuff we buy breaks down, falls apart, gets old, and ceases to be useful, but the gift of sharing our time, love, encouragement, hospitality, and friendship can have a lasting impact.  Who do you know that could use a little love?  Who needs encouragement?  What friends and family could you invite over to just share memories and the moment?  Doing these kinds of things will help you to understand the real reason for the season.

Make a Gift or Give of Yourself

For years my younger children would give gifts they made in school or at home or would  offer to do things for me.  Radiance, (my 12-year old) was famous for giving a coupon book, redeemable for massages, doing dishes, or other services she was capable of rendering.  While I can’t remember all  of the gifts my son Shawn has given me over the years, I do remember the year that he took string and tape and made everyone necklaces and other ‘jewelry.’  He worked so hard on it and was so serious.  They were priceless and memorable because it came from the heart.

Talley Family Gift Giving Tip

Our family is big.  I have six children, five are adults.  When everyone had to buy  a gift for everyone else, it became very expensive.   And this didn’t include spouses and grandchildren.   Years ago I became overwhelmed with the cost of buying gifts for each one and the time required to do it.  So, for the past few years we put all of the adult names in a hat and we each draw one name.  We each then only have to buy one present.  It works for us.  And, if any family member knows that they will be bringing a special friend, they either put their friend’s name in the hat too or bring a small present for them so that they would not feel left out.  Now, I’m not saying to not give or be generous if you want to and can afford to.  But if it’s a stress and a financial burden, consider some alternatives.  There are lots of other ways to show you care that don’t cost that much.  I share 23 of them below.

23 Inexpensive Gifts

  1. Take a card or flower to a sick or shut-in, or to a friend or relative you haven’t seen or spoken to for a while.
  2. Take some cookies or cider to share with children’s teachers or neighbors.
  3. Put together a picture book or send photos to family and old friends.
  4. Write and mail a handwritten letter sharing what they mean to you and put in some cute stationary and stamps so that they write you back.
  5. Take some flowers to the hospital and give to people who have no visitors.
  6. Invite people over for a laughter night.  Have them bring funny stories, movies, or jokes to share. Take pictures in funny hats and email or send to them later as a keepsake.
  7. Give a single rose with a personal note of how they brighten your day to co-workers.
  8. Buy cute socks, belts, accessories, or dollar store gifts and put in cute little bags.
  9. Volunteer or make a contribution to a charity in someone’s name.
  10. Give a service or offer to help out in some way. (Car detailing, Grocery shopping , Babysitting)
  11. Create a cute coupon book of services you can offer.
  12. Collect old blankets to distribute to the homeless and do it with your children and create a memory of service.
  13. Purchase Movie tickets or discounted gift certificates or gift cards.
  14. Use travel points to purchase a magazine subscription for a friend or family member.
  15. Frame a meaningful quote or two.
  16. Give books to schools, hospitals, nursing homes, students, or people on a self-journey.
  17. Offer to cook for someone  or bring them their favorite dish.
  18. Purchase board games or cute journals with a nice pen.
  19. Create a CD of their favorite music.
  20. Teach a skill you have (computers, photography, cooking, sewing, braiding, home or car repair…)
  21. Invite friends and family to a game night, play bingo and give dollar store prizes to the winners.

+2 [Sharon and Charmaine responded to this post and shared such wonderful ideas that I just had to share it below.  LOVE IT!!!

22.  Our choir takes shoe boxes and wrap them and fill them with socks, gloves, hats, toothbrushes, toothpaste, lotions, goodies to eat, etc and take them to the homeless and those in transitional housing. I also pack these in plastic bags to keep in my car when I come across someone homeless at a traffic light. Sharon

23. I write letters of gratitude (something I am grateful for about them) to my family and friends and mail them along with a bracelet that I wear everyday that reads “Thank you God I am grateful”. (The bracelet can be purchased on thankyoubracelets.com. They are sold $3.00 per package of two). Someone gave this to me as a gift with a very nice letter and I have cherished it. What a wonderful idea and I have begun to do this myself.

‘Tis the Season to Be Jolly’

The phrase, ‘Tis the Season to be Jolly’, is a necessary and apt reminder to not forget the reason for the season, which is to give and experience joy and happiness.  So while you’re out shopping and spending, you must be especially careful to not get swept up in the media frenzy of buying, buying, buying and forget the real reason for the season.  All the lights, singing, gift giving, and gift receiving have the power to impact our moods both positively and negatively.

For some the holiday season brings the expected joy, but for others it’s stressful and even depressing.   If you have money to shop, have friends and family to celebrate with, are open to giving and receiving, or have the time to pause and ‘be jolly’, then joy comes more  naturally.  But remember joy and happiness are not dependent on stuff.

One way to be jolly or happy is to be aware and sensitive to how others may be feeling.  Even if it isn’t your season, still find a reason to be jolly.  If you have abundance and see others in need, share the joy.   If you are one of those who has financial challenges this year, be sure to read my blog entry on ‘21 meaningful but inexpensive gifts you can give‘.  http://wp.me/ppImQ-9V

Hopefully you will be able to find some ways  to stay in the mood but out of the poor house.

Barbara

Happy Holidays to You from Barbara

[clearspring_widget title=”Animoto.com” wid=”46928cc51133af17″ pid=”4b299fba4dde4d8c” width=”432″ height=”240″ domain=”widgets.clearspring.com”]