Category Archives: Positive Thinking

Don’t give your power away and don’t give up on yourself.

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Choose to Be Around People Who Lift You Up

Unfortunately far too many people give up their dreams because of the negative people in their lives.  You must understand that your dream, your goal, and your vision is your unique treasure.  Others may not necessarily see it or believe it to be possible.  That is why you must never succumb to negativity.  That is why you must know yourself and know your strengths and your weaknesses. I know it’s disheartening to sometimes not have those you care about most believe in you.  But you matter too.  Believing in yourself is the catalyst for others believing in you.  In fact why should anyone believe in you if you don’t even believe in yourself, especially since you should know yourself better than anyone else knows you.

DON'T GIVE UP

DON’T GIVE UP

Everyone Has Their Moments

Everyone will have moments from time to time that their dreams seem elusive, fleeting, and perhaps even impossible.  It is precisely at these times that we need to have more faith.  So make sure you hang around those who will inspire, encourage, and lift you up.  Choose your own words carefully too, because words become reality.  Say only that which you want to become your reality.  And finally, understand that the environment shapes us.  Look around you.  Do the people, the conversations, or the surroundings reflect who you are or what you aspire to be?  I remember a point in my life where the people, their conversations and even the environment were discouraging, uninspiring, and depressing.  I did not fit and I knew it.  I made the changes necessary so that my vision of who I was became congruent with my friends and environment.  It was only then that I began to soar!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #5- Succumbing to Negativity

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My dad used to always say, “Smile and the world will smile with you.”  A surefire way of getting off track with your dreams is to succumb to the negative people, beliefs, attitudes, and perspectives of those you come in contact with.  When we allow the negativity to take hold, we relinquish our power.

How do you see the world?

Remember the computer acronym, WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get).  Meaning, what you choose to see greatly influences your outcome.  Your power is in your perception and perspective.  If you believe you will succeed, you will!  If you see the glass as half full, it’s half full.  If you see it as half empty, that version can also become your reality.  The point is that you have free will and how you choose to see a situation paints your reality.  If you see the world as an unjust, hateful, unforgiving, and cruel place, that  will be your reality.  If you see the universe as abundant, beautiful, and loving, that perspective will color your world.  It is what you decide it is.

Negativity Comes in Many Forms

Negativity comes in all forms and all of them are dangerous.  Whether it is your thoughts, the people you choose to be in your inner circle, what you read, listen to, or watch, or just the physical environments around you, it all affects you.  There are inspiring people, uplifting thoughts, and nurturing environments just as there are negative thoughts, toxic people, and discouraging environments.  The point is, in order to stay on track and keep moving towards your dreams (in spite of all the obstacles), you’ve got to have the right attitude.  Our attitudes and outcomes are affected by the people we hang around with and the environments we choose to be influenced by, so choose them carefully.  We know how hard it is on us when others give up on us, so above all, don’t give up on yourself.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #4: Inability to Stay Focused

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Okay, so one day you’re working on an important goal and the next thing you know you’re sidetracked and off to something else.   Nothing can derail your dreams faster than distractions.  Staying on track requires a conscious effort. Just because you have a dream and believe in it doesn’t mean that the things of the world will not distract you.  It doesn’t even matter how much you love or desire an outcome.  You’ve got to focus to hit your target.  And, if that target isn’t clear or keeps changing, how do you expect to hit it?  Choose, decide, commit, and stay focused. You’ve got to be willing to let some things go.  You may be able to do anything, but you still can’t do everything.  In ‘ Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha’, he states, “So long as the thoughts of an individual are  scattered he will achieve no results, but if his thinking be concentrated on a single point wonderful will be the fruits thereof.”

Identify Your Distractions and Do Something About Them.

Everyone isn’t distracted by the same things, but everyone is distracted by something.  You’ve got to decide who distracts, what distracts you, when you are distracted, and why you are distracted.  After that, figure out a plan to do something about it. If I know who distracts me, I can limit my time with that person when I need to accomplish something.  If it’s a specific time that I’m distracted, it might be wise to work on my important projects at a different time.   It also wouldn’t hurt to think about why you get so easily distracted either.  Perhaps your goal isn’t fulfilling enough or maybe it isn’t your goal.   Paul Graham calls the television and the internet, “visual crack,” since it is such an addictive distraction and suggests we turn it off or severely limit it.  Arjun Kulchani suggests choosing exciting work and using meditation as a tool for better concentration.   Cave Cheong offers a strategy he calls ‘time boxing‘ among other tips. Leo Babauta thinks we should schedule some ‘distraction time’.  Think about the strategies I’ve offered here and also check these wonderful sources below to pick out some ideas that work for you.

  1. 10 Ways to Eliminate Distractions by Leo Babauta
  2. 18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work by Dave Cheong
  3. 11 Ways of Staying Focused by Dave Cheong
  4. Disconnecting Distraction by Paul Graham
  5. How to Stay Focused by Arjun Kulkani

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Ten Tips for Tackling Procrastination Tendencies (pt 2)

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Why is it that you can’t get everything done? Is it because time just seems to fly, or you’ve set unreasonable goals,  or are you just not good at managing your time?  Did you know that there is a procrastination equation?  Piers Steel, PhD, one of the world’s foremost researchers and speakers on the science of motivation and procrastination writes, “There are two ways to find out where you land in the ranks of procrastination. Are you a garden-variety dilly dallier or are you hardcore with “tomorrow” tattooed across your back?” Take his survey and get specific information on how much of a procrastinator you are and what you can do about it.

My final five tips for tackling your procrastination tendencies are below.  If you missed first five tips be sure to check them out too.

My Final Five Tips for Tackling Procrastination Tendencies

  1. Make the goal a priority. If it’s not a priority and not as important as other things, stop beating yourself up.  Take it off your list and discard or delay until it is the highest priority.  If it is a priority, be disciplined at putting it first and putting off those things that are not as important to your success.  It’s also a good idea to start working on that plan when you are most alert and productive.  Why sabotage your goal by trying to jump-start it when you are deflated yourself.
  2. Know what your next step is. Sometimes looking at all we have to do is overwhelming.  So you might want to just identify the next step.  From that step you’ll more easily see the next step and so on and so on.  Commit to just doing the next step when the whole project overwhelms you.  Once you get started it’s easier to keep going.
  3. Get Yourself an Accountability Partner. Some people just aren’t self-motivated and need a progress partner. If  you need a muse, mentor, or friend to encourage you, hold you accountable, or to guide, get one or get all three.
  4. Specify a regular time to work on your goal and make it a habit. Habits only happen with regularity and action.  Do something regarding your goal every day, even if it is just to remind yourself of its importance and the time you’ve scheduled to act on it.  For example, I set a goal to pray at midnight.  I’ve found that if I do the same thing every single day around the same time, it becomes habit.  Once working on your goal becomes a habit, then it’s only a matter of time before you finish.
  5. Be clear about how procrastination is affecting you. Have you lost opportunities because you procrastinated?  Have you lost money and had to pay more or fees or jeopardized your credit because you waited until the last minute?  What about your relationships.  Has your chronic lateness caused problems with those you care about?  If you said yes to most of these questions,  your procrastination causing you stress and is a problem.  Your response to any problem should be….do something about it!

“In scientific terms, a person’s intention alone is not enough to see anything through–a condition called “preference reversal.” That means that unless an individual has some knowledge of his or her motivational weaknesses and can create a plan to counteract them, those promises of losing weight or writing a novel will fall to the wayside, Steel said.”  Steele came up with a mathematical formula to overcome procrastination.   Read more: http://news.cnet.com/2100-1008_3-6149636.html#ixzz1ECAsoP9T

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Ten Tips for Tackling Procrastination Tendencies

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It’s human nature to do the easiest, the most enjoyable, or the work we feel the most confident doing, but that doesn’t make it the most important.  Denis Waitley describes procrastination as, “The fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.” Ten tips for tackling procrastination tendencies are below:

  1. Have a compelling WHY?–  Are the reasons for working on this particular goal more compelling than what you are already doing?  Because if what you are doing is more important, there really is no good reason to abandon what you are doing to do something else.  If you don’t have a compelling enough reason to start, persevere, and to finish, you won’t!
  2. Create a plan to keep that reason visible and front and foremost in your consciousness.  If you have a compelling WHY and still find yourself procrastinating or forgetting, get a plan.   Constantly remind yourself of why you chose this goal.  Write the reasons on index cards, place them in strategic locations where you know you will see them, affirm your goals, and spend time thinking and acting on them.
  3. Tease yourself. Sometimes the hard part is to just get started.  In this case, give yourself a simple doable time limit, say fifteen minutes.  Usually you will get a momentum going and continue past the time initially proposed.
  4. Be clear about the benefits of achieving this goal and the consequences of not doing anything. Sometimes it is that clear vision of the benefits that provides the motivation to keep moving in the direction of your goals. While positive motivation is my preference, some people are motivated more by fear.  The fear of failure or the fear of the negative consequences is enough to get them motivated and continually motivated.
  5. Have a plan  of what you need to do. Just having  a vague idea of what you want and how you are to do it is not enough. – It’s easy to get distracted or sidetracked, a plan of action is critical to making sure that you stay on task.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.