Category Archives: Self-Help

The Science of Creating Your Own Luck

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Are you lucky?  Is there a science to luck or is it a spiritual blessing or divine grace?   I am one of those right brain people whose pendulum swings way to the right when given a choice to rely on science or spirit. I tend to look first towards spirituality to explain or guide me with work, relationships, and setting goals.  I also look for the spiritual lesson when I encounter adversity.  So, looking for a scientific explanation of why things are is not my first line of defense.  But, I’m consistently learning that science compliments spirituality and explains things logically.  With spirituality, I don’t have to know why; I just know what is.  But, science explains the why and I am even more confirmed.  For example, I know from experience that prayer and meditation work.  Science attempts to explain why.    But, I’m learning that it is not an either/or choice.  Both are valuable and both play a role.

4 Steps to Create Your Own Luck

Many people would consider me lucky.  I am if the definition is: “Luck is where opportunity meets preparedness.”  Yes I am lucky but I feel that my attitude and faith create my luck.  Richard Wiseman studies luck and has actually come up with a prescription for how it’s done.  You’ll want to read his insightful article, Be Lucky- it’s an easy skill to learn. He writes,  “My research revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four basic principles.They are:

  1. Skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities,
  2. Make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition,
  3. Create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and
  4. Adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.”

After graduating from his luck school, 80% of his students were luckier.  Scientific or spiritual luck?  Perhaps you don’t have to choose and can have both!  I’m  going to make sure I apply the principles above and for luck, I’m going to continue to pray.  There you have it.  Feeling luckier?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Study: 80 Percent of College Admissions Departments Stalk Your Facebook – TIME NewsFeed

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Did you know that 82% of college admissions officers use Facebook in their recruiting?  What image have you portrayed on your social media sites?  Is it one that seals the deal and gets you that letter?  Many high school seniors are anxiously awaiting to hear what colleges they will be attending.  Some are just beginning to apply.  I hope for your sake that you have not put anything on Face-book that paints you in an unfavorable light.  For all of you middle school and high schoolers, be careful what you put out on the social media sites.  It could come back to haunt you.  And college students and everyone else must also be careful of the image they portray on social media sites.  You’ll be looking for jobs one day.  Remember info in the webisphere can hang out there forever. Consider the following:

“We all know that employers check out your online persona, but the trend is spreading. Now your dirty laundry on the Internet could keep you out of college, too.

A new survey from Kaplan Test Prep reveals that 82 percent of admissions officers use Facebook in their recruiting. While this sounds like a positive spin on having an online presence – meaning the college of your dreams can see your interests and your favorite books. And maybe yours jive perfectly with that of the college’s dream student.”  Click below to continue article.

via Study: 80 Percent of College Admissions Departments Stalk Your Facebook – TIME NewsFeed.

The Power of Words

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Words are the building blocks of our communication with ourselves and others.  It is the means by which we exchange ideas, thoughts, desires, fears, needs, beliefs, etc. Negative words produce negative emotions.  Positive words produce positive emotions.  Let’s test it.  Think about debt, clutter, weight, divorce, death, bankruptcy, hatred, or betrayal.  How are you feeling?  Now think about abundance, order, beauty, freedom, fitness, health, vitality, faithfulness, and love. Do these words make you feel different? The challenge then is to use more positive words in our conversations, thoughts, and communications.  The words we use have programmed us and as we use new words we are changing the program.

Words also have ‘staying power’ both the negative and the positive.

Be careful what you put out into the universe because words have staying power.  Once implanted in someones heart or mind, they can grow there forever.  Everyone can recall without much effort a time in their lives when they were hurt by words.  For me, it was being called, “Fish Girl.” My dad had a fish market in Pennsylvania when I was between the ages of seven and twelve.  He would load up fish and produce in the truck and go door to door yelling, “Fresh Fish, Fresh Greens, Fresh Produce.”  Come and get your “Fresh Fish, Fresh Greens, Fresh Produce.”  On the surface it shouldn’t evoke painful memories, but it does.  You see when we weren’t out selling the fish, we were preparing the fish.  We couldn’t go out and play, have friends over, or have a normal childhood.  Most of our time was spent cleaning, scraping, and gutting hundreds of pounds of fish weekly.  The fish came in fifty pound boxes and my sisters and I had to stay up many nights getting the fish ready for sale the next day.  Our hands were cold and frozen and sore from being stuck and pricked by the fish fins.  If this weren’t enough, the kids would mock us to and from school.  They would throw things and us and call us “Fish Girls.”  Laughing at us saying that we smelled like fish.  Yes words can hurt, but words also can heal.  Unfortunately,  children learn the bad from their environment.  Realize that you are now a teacher and a role model for the children.  And, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.”

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Great Self-Help Resource on Brain Research

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Have you ever clicked on one of those sites that completely sucked you in because of the overwhelming amount of value?  I don’t even know how I happened upon this self-help site on brain research, but everything in it resonated with what I was already learning and studying.  I couldn’t believe it.  I simply loved it and I hope you will too.  Here is a little excerpt to wet your whistle.  It sure captured my attention!

“I help you reverse engineer your mind (so to speak) to learn how your brain functions; your limiting beliefs about money, relationships and health; and the cause of your lack of success. To effectively make permanent changes and eliminate this self-sabotage, you need to understand how these non-conscious blocks (internal conflicts) were created in the first place.  When you strive for self-improvement in anything and it just isn’t happening, realize there are two very good reasons for this.

1. You have been programmed with self-limiting beliefs that stop you.

2. Your ancestral DNA is actually working without your awareness to keep you safe with what is already familiar and comfortable.  Some refer to this as “psychological reversal” while others might call it “self-sabotage”. via Brain research – self help. Go on; click on the link and learn more!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Ten Questions to Help You Find Your Passion

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“Chase down your passion like it’s the last bus of the night” wrote Glade Byron Addams.  It is not okay to NOT live passionately on purpose.  It is our destiny to take life in our hands and like clay shape and mold it into whatever gives us joy.  We are each creators and creators create!  Some are lost; some are on the wrong path, and some are stuck.  But a lucky few are on the right path even though they may not have reached their goal yet.  But, that doesn’t matter so much because when you’re on the right path, the journey itself is joyous!  Perhaps you have had to take a few detours, but you’ve kept your eye on the prize.  You realize why you are where you are and you know where that road leads.

Don’t Forget Where You’re Going

I’ve certainly had to do jobs that I didn’t want to do in order to get to do the jobs that I was born to do. The key is to not get stuck there.  During those times we have to do our best and have a process of continual learning that allows us to get better and better.  We also should align ourselves with those who strengths complement our weaknesses and our weaknesses complement their strengths.  Sadly, I’ve heard people say that there is nothing that they are passionate or excited about.  That just is not acceptable.  We were born to live a joyful life.  We were created to love life.  How could we be expected to live lukewarm, uninspired, dispassionate lives?  To help you figure out your purpose, your passion, so that you can attract possibilities and power to you, consider the follow questions:

  1. Are you currently doing work you love?
  2. Do secretly wish you were doing something else?  What?
  3. Rate your joy for your work on a scale of 1-10?
  4. What aspects of your current work do you enjoy the most?
  5. Do you find yourself daydreaming about the passionate work you hope to do one day?
  6. What is your talent?
  7. What are you good at naturally?
  8. What work would you continue to do even if you were not paid?
  9. Who do you know that excels in areas that you are weak in and how can you help each other?
  10. Who inspires you to live more joyfully?

Harold Whitman said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.