Category Archives: Self-Help

Dream Derailer #7: Wasting Energy Blaming Others

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Who’s Fault Is It?

Who is to blame for your lack of success, your mother, father, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, brother, friend, boss, children, the government…?  There is a never-ending list of people to blame if you’re looking for a scapegoat.  Just remember that blaming takes energy, energy that is put to better use making your dreams come true.

Take the Credit and the Criticism

When you succeed you will take the credit and when you fail that is also your honor.  If you want to be successful and keep on track and not get derailed, you must be responsible.  The only person that stands between and your dream is you. You may think that other people are blocking your way, but they only have the power that you give them.   The buck stops with you!  If you believe that the actions of others have the power to prevent you from succeeding, then your belief gives them that power and makes the statement true.  However if you believe that nothing can stop you, you will find a way around any obstacles you encounter and become stronger in the process.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #6d: Not Viewing Goals as Promises

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Is Setting a Goal a Promise or a Pretense?

This is the fourth consideration for the Commitment series.  How you view goals might make the difference between your success or failure.  Is your goal a serious well thought-out promise or are they just arbitrary, fickle thoughts that changes with the tides? Many people take seriously the promises they make to others, but do not take their own commitments to themselves as seriously.  Why is that? If you make a promise to a friend and break it, they will lose confidence in you.  Why do you think it would be different to consistently break promises to your own self?

How Much Is Your Word Worth?

It boils down to how much is your word worth?  This is the foundation of confidence, to know you can rely on yourself to produce.  You are the leading actor in your own unfolding drama called life.  You are also the director; you are responsible for calling the shots.  You are also the producer.  The success or failure of the program is in your hands.  You decide what your life (show) is going to be about and you write the script (set the goals). Then you commit, I mean really commit! That is, you make a promise to yourself and you keep it.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #6c: Can You Count on You?

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This is the third article in the series on the importance of commitment.  The real questions you must answer honestly for yourself are:

  1. Can you count on yourself?
  2. Would you bet your all on yourself?
  3. Do you believe in yourself?
  4. Do you take the commitments to yourself as seriously as those to other people?
  5. Is your word worth as much when it comes to keeping promises you make to yourself?
  6. Are the words you say to yourself encouraging, supportive, and loving?

Any answer other than “yes” is a possible, perhaps an even probable, dream derailer.  Do you remember how it feels to be let down by someone?  It is disheartening to say the least.  And, the closer that person is to you, the worst it feels.

How Many Times Have You Let Yourself Down?

Well, have you ever thought about the deleterious effects of not even being able to depend on your own self either?  How must that make one feel?  What do you think that does to one’s self esteem to realize that they can not even rely on their own self?  How many times have you let yourself down, set a goal and then ignored or abandoned it?  If you want to be happy, hopeful, and successful, be the one person you can rely on and trust.  Be honest with yourself.  If you make a promise through a goal, follow through on it.  Build that self-trust and with it your self-esteem and personal power.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #6b: 5 Signs of Commitment

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Now, the question you must answer honestly is, “Am I interested or committed to my own success, relationships, education, or whatever it is you are striving for.  To understand more clearly what I mean by being interested or committed, ponder this little tale of a pig and a chicken’s contribution to a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken is interested, the pig is committed! When we commit to our dreams we make a vow, a promise, or a pledge, to be reliable, steadfast, and to give it our all.  We see our goal or dream as an obligation and then we do what we must to see it through.  Five signs of commitment are:

  1. You give your word, keep your word, and make that promise a priority.
  2. Your goal is foremost in your consciousness, conversations, and thoughts.
  3. You have a plan and you work on it faithfully, diligently and with regularity.
  4. You give it your all, and…
  5. You don’t give up!

You must go after your dreams with the same commitment you would have if you were fighting a gorilla.  You don’t give up when you get tired; you give up when the gorilla gets tired.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #6a: Not Committed Enough

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Okay, you’ve got a dream, the desire, and you also feel that you have the talent, but you’re not making the progress you desire.  So, now what? Why do some still fail to produce the outcome they desire or see their dreams come true?

Wanting Is Not Enough

Most people think that wanting something badly enough will make it happen.  If that were true we’d have world peace, no poverty, and war would be no more, for people profess to want these things.  I agree, wanting is an important first step, but desire is not enough, you have to be committed.  Mary Crowley, the founder of Home Interiors, a highly successful multi-level marketing decorating business, once made a profound statement about commitment.  She said something to the effect, “I’ll take one committed person any day over ten ‘interested’ people.”

Are You Committed or Just Interested?

Who would you support, believe in, trust, and collaborate with, the interested person or the committed person? Pause now and take a look at your current goals.  Decide for each goal if you are committed or simply interested and be honest with yourself.  Then either commit or let the goal go until such time when you can fully commit.  Why frustrate yourself and dissipate your energy?  Instead focus your energy on the goals you are committed to and watch magic happen!  Continue to part two to read about the Five  Signs of Commitment.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.