Category Archives: Self-Help

My Success Formula (pt 3) Knowledge

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(Part 2) Are you OK?  O and K are the first two factors in my personal success formula.  O stands for Outcome.  K stands for Knowledge.  To be OK, you’ve first got to have a vision of where you are going and then the knowledge or faith that you can get there. If we don’t we tend to feel lost, bored, uninspired, and not really excited about anything.

Self-Knowledge Is Vital

It is our vision that provides a sneak peek of the outcome we desire and gives us that spark of faith and energy that we need to get moving.  We clarify and bring our vision into focus through reflection, inspiration, and meditation.  Once we know where we want to go, knowledge helps us to understand “how” to get there.  Knowledge is so vital that we begin the success formula with it. We must “know” ourselves before we can utilize our gifts, talents, desires, and resources.  For, unless we acknowledge what makes us unique and special, how can we take advantage of the opportunities, possibilities, and options available to us.

Knowledge Is Not a Static Event

You should never stop learning.  Knowledge is an indispensable element throughout my success formula.  It is not a static event, but instead is ongoing. When you stop learning you stop growing.  When you stop growing, you die; perhaps not physically, but certainly spiritually, mentally, and professionally.   That’s why immediately after you’ve decided on what you want to achieve, your next step is to create a plan to learn your craft to excellence.  (More on KNOWLEDGE)

  1. What do you need to know to get better at your craft?
  2. What do you need to know to be a better person?
  3. What do you need to know to be healthier?
  4. How do you plan to serve?
  5. What do you need to know to earn a living by your gifts and talents?
  6. How do you plan to “grow” this year?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula

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Success is consistently manifesting the outcomes we choose.  I have had many successes in my life, a marriage for several decades, six smart wonderful children, six books, certitude in spirituality, and the bounty of finding and developing my unique talents:  motivating others through speaking, writing, and poetry.  I have been blessed to live on purpose!  Yes, I’ve had challenges too, but I know that what we focus on magnifies in our lives, so I choose to focus on what I’d like to see more of instead.  A powerful liberating thought I learned years ago was that life is choice!  We have the power to choose the life we want to live.  We just have to be willing to create it.

People routinely ask me, “Barbara, how do you do it?”   One of my success formulas is: (O=K+B+T+E+A).

I believe …

You fill in the blank.   Everything that I’ve ever accomplished started with a desire and belief that I could do it. What do you believe about your potential, possibilities, and probabilities?   Why does it matter what we believe?  Well, our beliefs are the foundation and driving force of our lives.  Our core beliefs influence everything especially our thoughts.  Our thoughts formulate our goals and expectations.  Our expectations determine what we actually do.  And finally, our actions create or contribute to our outcomes.  Of course there are some things that are not under our control, but many are.  There is a cause and effect whether we cognizant of it or not. In the next few posts I’ll discuss each element in my formula and its connection to our successes, results, or outcomes.  Part 2 of Success Formula

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Humans Are Essentially Conscious Thinking Beings

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We are conscious beings capable of discerning truth and creating a reality that supports the health, well-being, and survival of all.  But, to do that we must independently investigate truth for ourselves.  We must be open-minded seekers of truth.  Hopefully, more and more people will begin to question reality instead of just blindly following the leader.  And, if we are to follow someone, then we must demand that they are virtuous visionaries who are honest and trustworthy. Far too many follow those who are arrogant, prideful, and competitive and who value money, power, and prestige over justice and fairness.  That is why our trust is waning in so many of our once trusted institutions.  We are now realizing that they are run by fallible human beings whose value systems may be contrary to our own. Humans are essentially conscious thinking beings. When we refuse to think, we forfeit our noble advantage and become less than the animals.

Our Intellect Makes Us Superior to Animals

It is our intelligence and  capacity to think that separates us from the animal.  When we don’t use our mind, we are no different from the animals.  In fact, when compared to animals excluding our thought power we are inferior.  In all the senses which we share, there is some animal specie that surpasses humans.  Birds can see further, cheetahs can run faster, dogs and hear further, etc.  Only our rational minds separate us.  Only our minds make us superior.  Let’s commit to catering to our strengths, and that is our thoughts.  Let’s commit individually to think more often and about more important things.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

Dr. Martin Luther King on Hope

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Dr. King’s life was dedicated to uplifting his fellow-man, the downtrodden, the poor, the hopeless, and the forgotten.  In Trumpet of Conscience, Dr. King reflected on hope, “If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose the courage to be, the quality that helps you to go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.”

This year the economic situation is taking center stage.  Young people fresh out of college are trying to find jobs and mature adults laid off from their once secure jobs are having trouble finding (any) job and especially ones commensurate with their former income.  Two years ago this time our minds were on the catastrophic devastation in  Haiti.  (Note: Please don’t forget about them; they still need our help!) Last year it is on the senseless Arizona killings and the worsening respect for our public officials and for life itself.  This coupled with massive job layoffs, increasing numbers of people facing life altering health challenges, and those with jobs facing furloughs or no pay raises makes the need to pull together and help each other even more critical.  People are hurting.  United we stand and divided we fall.  We cannot let our fellow brothers and sisters lose hope and we can’t lose hope either.

Keep Hope Alive

We’ve got to do what we can to “keep hope alive.”  Not only for those in our families that are facing challenges, but also for the jobless, homeless, and hopeless people everywhere.  Reflect on the time in which Dr. King lived and how he responded to difficulties.  In spite of everything he endured, the hoses and attack dogs, his home bombed, being spit on, jailed, ridiculed, and threatened with death, he still had hope and faith.   You may not think that you have enough to share, but what the world needs now is love, encouragement, hope, and perhaps a big smile.  Now I know those things won’t pay the bills,  but they can perhaps lift someone’s spirit and help them get through that day. You never know when you might need a little encouragement.  Perhaps a smile might be just what you need to make it through a day.  Dr. King never gave up on his dream and fought for it until his dying breath.  So, don’t give up on your dream either and when you feel like giving up, remember Martin.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out What does Barbara do? or visit  my website.

23 Gifts That Cost Little or Nothing

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Sometimes we forget that the best things in life are really free.  Giving doesn’t have to be about physical things.  Most of the stuff we buy breaks down, falls apart, gets old, and ceases to be useful, but the gift of sharing our time, love, encouragement, hospitality, and friendship can have a lasting impact.  Who do you know that could use a little love?  Who needs encouragement?  What friends and family could you invite over to just share memories and the moment?  Doing these kinds of things will help you to understand the real reason for the season.

Make a Gift or Give of Yourself

For years my younger children would give gifts they made in school or at home or would  offer to do things for me.  Radiance, (my 12-year old) was famous for giving a coupon book, redeemable for massages, doing dishes, or other services she was capable of rendering.  While I can’t remember all  of the gifts my son Shawn has given me over the years, I do remember the year that he took string and tape and made everyone necklaces and other ‘jewelry.’  He worked so hard on it and was so serious.  They were priceless and memorable because it came from the heart.

Talley Family Gift Giving Tip

Our family is big.  I have six children, five are adults.  When everyone had to buy  a gift for everyone else, it became very expensive.   And this didn’t include spouses and grandchildren.   Years ago I became overwhelmed with the cost of buying gifts for each one and the time required to do it.  So, for the past few years we put all of the adult names in a hat and we each draw one name.  We each then only have to buy one present.  It works for us.  And, if any family member knows that they will be bringing a special friend, they either put their friend’s name in the hat too or bring a small present for them so that they would not feel left out.  Now, I’m not saying to not give or be generous if you want to and can afford to.  But if it’s a stress and a financial burden, consider some alternatives.  There are lots of other ways to show you care that don’t cost that much.  I share 23 of them below.

23 Inexpensive Gifts

  1. Take a card or flower to a sick or shut-in, or to a friend or relative you haven’t seen or spoken to for a while.
  2. Take some cookies or cider to share with children’s teachers or neighbors.
  3. Put together a picture book or send photos to family and old friends.
  4. Write and mail a handwritten letter sharing what they mean to you and put in some cute stationary and stamps so that they write you back.
  5. Take some flowers to the hospital and give to people who have no visitors.
  6. Invite people over for a laughter night.  Have them bring funny stories, movies, or jokes to share. Take pictures in funny hats and email or send to them later as a keepsake.
  7. Give a single rose with a personal note of how they brighten your day to co-workers.
  8. Buy cute socks, belts, accessories, or dollar store gifts and put in cute little bags.
  9. Volunteer or make a contribution to a charity in someone’s name.
  10. Give a service or offer to help out in some way. (Car detailing, Grocery shopping , Babysitting)
  11. Create a cute coupon book of services you can offer.
  12. Collect old blankets to distribute to the homeless and do it with your children and create a memory of service.
  13. Purchase Movie tickets or discounted gift certificates or gift cards.
  14. Use travel points to purchase a magazine subscription for a friend or family member.
  15. Frame a meaningful quote or two.
  16. Give books to schools, hospitals, nursing homes, students, or people on a self-journey.
  17. Offer to cook for someone  or bring them their favorite dish.
  18. Purchase board games or cute journals with a nice pen.
  19. Create a CD of their favorite music.
  20. Teach a skill you have (computers, photography, cooking, sewing, braiding, home or car repair…)
  21. Invite friends and family to a game night, play bingo and give dollar store prizes to the winners.

+2 [Sharon and Charmaine responded to this post and shared such wonderful ideas that I just had to share it below.  LOVE IT!!!

22.  Our choir takes shoe boxes and wrap them and fill them with socks, gloves, hats, toothbrushes, toothpaste, lotions, goodies to eat, etc and take them to the homeless and those in transitional housing. I also pack these in plastic bags to keep in my car when I come across someone homeless at a traffic light. Sharon

23. I write letters of gratitude (something I am grateful for about them) to my family and friends and mail them along with a bracelet that I wear everyday that reads “Thank you God I am grateful”. (The bracelet can be purchased on thankyoubracelets.com. They are sold $3.00 per package of two). Someone gave this to me as a gift with a very nice letter and I have cherished it. What a wonderful idea and I have begun to do this myself.