We Don’t Want Any Wedding Gifts

Last night I had dinner with two of my sisters, my niece and her fiance.  Both my niece and her fiance are lawyers that have graduated from Georgetown.  They are both such unique young people, so much so that I awoke this morning and had to take some time to reflect on my thoughts especially their request to not give them any wedding gifts, but to instead give the money to charity.  And, they are not wealthy.  They are just starting out, have very few material trappings, and their share of college loans to repay and yet their thoughts are not on themselves but on the less fortunate.  In a sea of materialism,  and “me” mentality, they did NOT want gifts.  They wanted a simple ceremony so that their friends and family from around the world could share in their union.  And if it weren’t for respecting families and traditions, they wouldn’t have done a big wedding at all.  If the future has more young folks like them, then we have a bright future ahead of us indeed.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Memorial Day: Honoring, Respecting, and Valuing ALL Life

How can we befittingly pay tribute to those we wish to memorialize?

I think we best honor the dead when we truly appreciate, respect, and value ALL LIFE!  Perhaps we can all agree on the universal benefit of focusing on the value of all human life, whether it is a fetus or elderly, able or disabled, black or white, rich or poor, homeless or decadently housed, on foreign or American soil, whether Christian or Moslem, Buddhist or Bahá’í, gay or straight, male or female, employed or unemployed, sick or healthy, or famous or ordinary.   Diverse people remember, honor, and celebrate the dead in different ways.  Some somberly mourn their losses in rituals and visits to cemeteries, while others celebrate the life of the deceased by focusing on and valuing and appreciating the lives of the deceased.   What can you learn from the lives of those who are now on the other side of the sod?  What do you choose to remember?

Memorial Day offers an opportunity and  occasion to:

1. Stop and reflect on the value of every human life.

2. Examine the roles we individually and collectively play to make a difference during our own brief sojourn here.

3. Remember what is worth remembering about those who have passed on.

The ones we memorialize may be military, ancestors, friends, family members, religious figures, or someone totally unrelated, but whose lives and deaths have contributed positively to our understanding, opportunities, and freedoms.   It is an opportunity to learn from the past so that our lives will be more meaningful.

A lot of lives have been silenced in our history because of their diversity or beliefs and in the recent earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and wars. The suffering and pain continue long after the media has turned its attention to the next disaster or sensation.  Let’s not forget them.  What can you do to ease the suffering, change a life, and raise the esteem of the hopeless?  Remember, it is better to light one candle than to continually curse the darkness.  This memorial day, who will you light a candle for?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Memorial Day: Befittingly Remembering

 Who has passed on in your history, in the past few years, or even since the last Memorial Day?

Memorial Day is not only a time to remember deaths, but more importantly a time for us to remember the lives and contributions of those that have served, sacrificed, or meaningfully touched our lives and passed on.

If you truly valued the life of someone now departed, stop right now, write down their names, say a prayer for them, and REMEMBER them befittingly. What lessons can be savored, internalized, and used as a guide to make us better humans, employees, friends, spouses, students, neighbors, citizens, parents, children, and stewards of this beautiful planet?

Take a lesson from Sharon Parker of ROASA, Remembering Our Ancestors Synergistic Association who pulled together a local community to repair a leaking roof on the home of an elderly couple’s home or Judith Clark of Women Who Care Ministries whose non-profit brings together young and old volunteers who stand out in the scorching hot sun or freezing snow to collect food to feed hungry children.  And, remember those who are not traditionally remembered.  Remember the Buffalo Soldiers and women who have served our country.

Wikipedia defines a memorial as, “an object which serves as a focus for memory of something, usually a person (who has died) or an event.”  The key words for me are “a focus for memory of something.”Let’s reflect on the old adage, “If we don’t learn from the past, we are condemned to repeat it!”   Let’s not forget the true meaning of the day.  Part 3: Honoring Respecting, and Valuing ALL Life

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Memorial Day: To Remember or Forget?

Memorial Day: A time to remember, “Lest we forget!”  Each year most people happily look forward to the Memorial Day weekend, not necessarily because of what it stands for but because it represents a day off from work or school.  The majority look forward to Memorial Day because it’s an opportunity for a longer weekend to relax, to go to the beach, or to have a cook-out with family and friends.  It’s a chance to forget about homework, the job, the bills, the pressures, and the everyday grind.  That sounds more like Labor Day. So, what is the true meaning of Memorial Day, to remember or to forget?

The meaning of Memorial Day has expanded and changed with time. Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day and its purpose was to commemorate those who had died in service to the United States, initially the Civil war, then World War 1, and finally for all wars.  Officially many remember the dead by flying flags at half-staff, visiting cemeteries, enjoying fireworks or a National concert on the Capitol lawn, and suspending work. The Holiday got its official name by law in 1967 and took effect in 1971 which changed the date from May 30th to the last Monday in May.  By the 20th century the meaning had evolved or expanded as an occasion for more general expressions of memory, a time to remember those who have died whether they were in military service or not.  Part 2: Befittingly Remembering.

Source: Wikipedia

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Shocking Body-Image News: 97% of Women Will Be Cruel to Their Bodies Today: Health & Fitness: glamour.com

“Read these words: “You are a fat, worthless pig.” “You’re too thin. No man is ever going to want you.” “Ugly. Big. Gross.” Horrifying comments on some awful website? The rant of an abusive, controlling boyfriend? No; shockingly, these are the actual words young women are saying to themselves on any typical day. For some, such thoughts are fleeting, but for others, this dialogue plays on a constant, punishing loop, according to a new exclusive Glamour survey of more than 300 women of all sizes. Our research found that, on average, women have 13 negative body thoughts daily—nearly one for every waking hour. And a disturbing number of women confess to having 35, 50 or even 100 hateful thoughts about their own shapes each day.”

via Shocking Body-Image News: 97% of Women Will Be Cruel to Their Bodies Today: Health & Fitness: glamour.com.

How many negative self body thoughts do you have each day?  When you look into the mirror are you loving and accepting or disgusted or dissatisfied?  Please read this article.  How can we love others if we have so much hatred for ourselves?  How can we appreciate others when we don’t even value our own image?  We  can’t give what we don’t have.  Love yourself and perhaps loving others will come easier.