Tag Archives: Change and Personal Empowerment

My Success Formula (pt 5d)- Expectations and Emotional Congruency

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(From 5c: Emotions and Expectations)

When Our Emotions and Expectations Are Congruent, We Excel!

Do you expect success?  Do you feel successful?  You attract what you feel.  Are your thoughts affirming of your success?  Are your conversations focused on your successful outcome, devoid of fear and instead confident of the outcome?  Are your actions congruent with your dreams, thoughts, and words?  If not, you can sabotage your results.  And while most people can understand the rationale for making sure that their thoughts, words, and actions are congruent, they rarely think about or understand the importance of emotional congruence.   Expectations have an emotional component.  A quick Google search of emotions and success revealed over 17 millions results!

You Can’t Fake It.

You might fool others, but you can’t fool yourself.  Emotions are our internal honesty meter.  When we’re moving closer to our dreams we are happier; when moving away from them, we’re sadder.  We know the difference between excitement and fear, between expectation and dread, and between confidence and doubt.  Emotions are our guides to living authentically.  Don’t ignore your feelings for they provide you important feedback about your current state.  That’s why some say, “If it feels right and moral, keep doing it.”  If doesn’t feel right, pause, reflect, investigate and be in a constant mood of learning and flexibility.  We should be like our GPS systems that say, “Recalculating,” whenever we’ve missed a turn and not berate ourselves when we get off track.

Our Emotions and Expectations Should Match

Emotions emit a certain frequency and have the power of attraction. Our emotions should match our beliefs and expectations.  You could think, speak, and act in a certain way, and not feel it and this would be hypocrisy.  Our feelings are the only part of the formula that must be real.  You can’t fake excitement.  You either are or you aren’t.  You can’t fake anticipation; either you are expecting something to happen or you aren’t!  In fact, our feelings are in many cases the real drivers in our journey towards success.  They can get us there quickly or cause us to get lost.   Our feelings influence our thoughts, words, and deeds.  If we feel good, feel confident, feel invincible, or feel certain, our thoughts, words, and actions are one way.  However, if we feel doubtful, weak, or fearful, we are very likely thinking very different kinds of  thoughts. (Continue to Part 6 of My Success Formula: ACTION!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 5c)- More on Expectations and Emotions

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If You Think You Can, You Can!

(From 5b: Expectations and Emotions)

To sum it all up, if you expect good things to happen  with all your heart, in most cases they will.  The key word here is heart.  The heart holds the power of attraction.  This is also true of less desirable outcomes.  What you feel, you attract.  So, are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic about your dreams, goals, and future?

Expectations+ Emotions Have Creative Power

Whatever you are feeling, you are creating.  Our feelings move us beyond lip service. So we’ve got to think about and feel about only those things we want to attract into our lives.  When you truly love someone or something, you can’t help but think about, talk about, and feel exhilarated by that person or thing.  This energy moves you to action.  It is the same principle when pursuing our dreams.  It’s not enough to just want success.  We must also think, speak, act, and feel our way to our goal.  That is when we begin to realize the power of expectations. When our expectations and emotions are congruent we excel.  You can’t expect something wonderful and hate or resent it at the same time.  You can’t fear something awful and want or love it.

Pygmalion and Galatea Effects

I just read an article about the power of expectations at work,’The Pygmalion and Galatea Effects.  In this About.com article, Susan Heathfield writes, “Your expectations of people and their expectations of themselves are the key factors in how well people perform at work. Known as the Pygmalion effect and the Galatea effect, respectively, the power of expectations cannot be overestimated.” I submit, that your expectation is the key factors in achieving any goal you pursue whether professional or personal.   In another article on the Galatea effect, the author writes, “One of life’s greatest gifts you can give someone is to believe in them. Think about someone who believes in you? Don’t you work harder to live up to those expectations? Sure you do. It’s human nature.” Another fact of human nature is that you get back magnified what you send out.  So, give someone a priceless gift by letting them know how much you believe in them.  Continue to 5c: Expectations and Emotional Congruence.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 5a)- Expectations

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(Continued from Part 4: Thoughts)

This is the fifth in the series describing my personal success formula. We’ve discussed how we must first have a vision or an outcome in mind.  Next, we must be aware of and seek the knowledge required to create a plan and carry it out.  Thirdly, we must have the faith or belief that our vision or dream is possible.  Then we must make sure that our thoughts are positive and affirming and work in our favor.   After that, we must be clear about and focus on the importance and power of our expectations.  The ‘E” in my formula stands for expectations and emotions.  While our thoughts focus on visualizing and articulating our vision, our expectations also include an emotional aspect.

Emotions Motivate Quicker Than Thoughts

Some experts say our emotions motivate us to action quicker than our thoughts do.  How many times have you thought about doing something and even talked about doing something, but never really did anything about it?  Everyone has had that happen.  So, what is it that moves us to action?  It is our emotions!  They can make us do something or prevent us.  But, which emotions are the most powerful?  Continue to 5b: Expectations and Emotions )

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula- Thoughts (continued)

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What’s In Your Subconscious Program?

(Part 1 of Thoughts) Are you open to new ideas, thoughts, or perspectives?  Or, are you closed-minded? Your answer probably has a lot to do with your programming.   We have thought, accepted, and believed much of our early programming because that’s how the early programming mechanism works.  Children learn how to walk, talk, socialize, etc. in just a few short years.  Adults take years to learn a new language, a toddler learns it and more. It works this way because there is a lot to learn in a short period of time.  And, this would be great, if all the adults in our lives, our society, and the world had it together.  Unfortunately many people are negative.  Bruce Lipton states that 70% of our thoughts are negative.  Think back to the year you were born.  What was society like those first six years?  What influenced your parents and their thoughts back then.  What programming was likely downloaded into your infant brain?  If you want to know what you’ve been thinking consciously and subconsciously, examine your current reality.  What is manifesting?  What do you see around you?  What are you feeling?  What is your reality?

Understanding the Subconscious Mind

The subconscious is the seat of our information.  It stores everything that we  have thought, learned, taught, seen or heard.  It is powerful beyond measure and is neutral.  It outputs only what has been input from the environment.  There is no good or evil with it, there is just information.  I remembered about twenty years ago learning about the power of the subconscious mind.  I learned to do affirmations as a way of re-programming my subconscious mind. I believe that it was that programming that created the positive mindset I have today.  I remember as a child challenging the negative programming that I was receiving about my self-worth.  Race, gender, and my socio-economic condition placed me in a lot of self-limiting boxes.   When I would hear something devaluing, I would tell myself, “That isn’t true; I’m going to be somebody.”  I wish I had said, “I am somebody right now.”  That way I wouldn’t have had to waste years chasing that elusive day when I had worth.  Fortunately a spiritual transformation occurred in my life when I learned that I was “created noble.”  After that I tried to make that thought become a reality.  We have the power to re-program, but it is a conscious effort.  We can’t operate on auto-pilot and expect to change our programming. We are a result of our nurturing, environment, opportunities, and nature and we have the power to change these right now by our choices and our thoughts.  Part 5a of Formula: Expectations

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 4)- Thoughts

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(Previous on Beliefs)

We Are What We Think.

I have three favorite spiritual quotes that have greatly influenced my thinking on the power of  thoughts.  The first is from the Buddha.  “We are what we think, having become what we thought.” The second is biblical. “As a man thinketh, so is he.” The third comes from the Baha’i Writings.  “The reality of man is his thoughts.” If you want to know what you’ve been thinking consciously and subconsciously, examine your current reality.  What is manifesting?  What do you see around you?  What are you feeling?   We are above all creative beings, that is, we create our own reality.  The tool which allows us to do this is our thoughts.

Thoughts are things.

Thoughts are real.  Thoughts create reality.    I was just watching a video by Bruce Lipton that talked about the power of our conscious and subconscious minds.  He explained why positive thoughts alone don’t change our reality because our positive thoughts which come from our conscious thoughts only operate about 5% of the time.  He suggested that 95-99% of our thoughts are subconscious.  Most of our thoughts are a result of our programming which begins at our birth and for the first six years he says, are operating in a theta wave state.  We were in a state of automatic download which meant we were receiving the programming from our parents, environment, and influences (television, teachers, sibling, etc.)  Research shows children under six don’t have the capacity in the theta state to understand the difference between reality and fantasy.  That is why some experts on child development state that young children should not watch television at all.  They know that the children are being programmed and don’t have the capacity yet to challenge that programming which could potentially be with them for life if gone unchecked.   But, now we are adults and we must challenge or reprogram much of our old programming.  If life is working for you, then your programming must be working.  If it’s not than you need to reprogram! Continue: More on Thoughts.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.