Tag Archives: self-help

To Forgive or Not Forgive, THAT IS THE QUESTION

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“Feeling Stuck” was the subject of an email from Dr. Robert Anthony that caught my attention this morning.  So what does being stuck have to do with forgiveness? The first paragraph of the email explained it:

“If you feel stuck in any area of your life it could very well be due to a lack of forgiveness. Perhaps you are having trouble forgiving someone else or yourself.  It doesn’t matter. Holding on to past memories or “stories” is guaranteed to tie up your energy and block your ability to attract what you want.”

Wow now that was certainly food for thought. Everyone has specific areas of their lives where they excel and a few in which they are simply “stuck.”  Stuck areas are those that cause you the recurring grief, where there’s no movement and no progress. Think about your life.  Where are you “stuck?”  Who do you need to forgive?  Is it yourself or others?  I don’t know about you, but that’s given me a lot to think about today.”  So here’s five questions you need to answer to move on?

  1. List the areas of your life that you are feeling stuck in.  (job, relationships, health, etc.)
  2. Think about what negative stories you are holding onto in that area.
  3. Who or what is the source?  Are you angry with yourself or is it someone else?
  4. Pray on it and figure out a way to forgive them or yourself.
  5. Let it go!

Remember as we forgive, we too are forgiven!

Are You Programmed for Poverty or Wealth?

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I remember in my early twenties reading a book called the ‘The Magic of Thinking Big,’ In my circles at the time thinking big was being able to pay the rent, buy a suede coat after saving up for months, or just having a job.  My limiting environmental programming had taught me that to want much more was greed, to ask for more than the basics was selfish.  I had to overcome this early programming in order to be successful.

A familiar phrase of the elders were, “The children in Africa are starving.” Their intent was “Be grateful,” for they had gone through much harder times and sacrificed for us to have what little we had. But, the message I heard was, “Don’t ask for much in life.”  Even the church was complicit, teaching that, “It is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get to heaven.”  Their intent was to teach us not to put wealth before God.  The message I got was that I had to choose between God and wealth because it is impossible to have both.

Even as a child I knew that it was impossible for a camel to get through the eye of a needle.  Fortunately I learned later in life that ‘The Eye of the Needle” is a difficult camel passage and a place and not a physical needle.  That changed the message entirely.  To complete the negative indoctrination regarding money, my father would comment regularly when seeing rich people that they were crooks.  I’m sure that was probably his personal experience doing migrant work and growing up in the South.  However the takeaway message confirmed the church’s message, “If you choose wealth, then you are going against God and salvation.”

Who says you can’t have both?  There are so many spiritual teachings that teach us of our power and greatness.  Abundance is also an attribute of God and as spiritual heirs, wealth is ours.  The importance determinant is what we do with that wealth. Do we serve, remain moral and upright, and are we grateful to the point of sharing?  That’s how we measure the value of wealth.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Slow Down

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A yellow light means that we should prepare to slow down. Yellow lights are different for each of us. To some they may appear as illnesses, broken relationships, unhappiness, or feelings of  depression or of  just feeling disconnected  or uninspired.   Some of us are moving way to fast and could even cause an accident if we tried to stop too abruptly at the speed we are going.

Let’s say you’re driving down the road of life at high speed and you notice a desired destination just as you are passing it.  If you stop too quickly, you can cause an accident.  That’s why we have yellow lights in our lives.  Some of us are speeding down the road of life so fast that we are missing life itself.  We’re missing out on the important events in our children’s lives.  We’re missing out on capturing those stories our elders have to impart to us while they are still with us.  We’re missing appointments to take care of our physical health, to exercise, and to eat healthily.  And, we’re missing out on building that spiritual connection that only prayer, meditation, and service can provide.

Do yourself a favor. Take time now for your spiritual development, your family and relationships, and more importantly your physical health.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.
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Stop, Slow Down, or Go?

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STOP! Look, and Listen

Have you ever wondered why there are three settings on a stop light?  It’s because all three are necessary. Everyone needs to stop sometime.  You can’t keep going and going like the Energizer Bunny.  You’ve got to take time out to pause, reflect, plan, relax, and regenerate.

Green Lights Mean Go!

Now some of you have the opposite challenge.  You can’t seem to get moving, to get motivated, to get on track, on fire, and on purpose.  You are simply stuck.  Some of you are moving so slow that you’d have to speed up to just stop.  And, some people are sitting there with no plans while others with detailed plans are doing nothing with them.

What are you waiting for?

If you’ve gotten the green light in life, GO!  Is there an opportunity in your lap right now?  Are you procrastinating, doubtful and worried about failure.  No risk, no gain! Get going. You can’t stay in limbo forever if you wish to reach your goals.

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”  Zig Ziglar

Remember we are not PROMISED tomorrow even though so far each day we awaken to the gift of another 24 beautiful hours.  Show that you value that gift each day by slowing down long enough to show your gratitude, by stopping to smell the roses, and by getting going to make the most of every single moment.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.
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Change Is Part of The Master Plan

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It is December, the time of holiday spirits, year-end reflections, and the anticipation or regret of the approaching winter weather. If there is one thing that I know for sure, it is that things WILL change.  All you have to do is open your eyes to see change all around you.  There is new construction where once there were trees or abandoned property. Houses once filled with familiar voices and laughter are now empty or new occupants have staked their claims. The trees which once were spectacularly clothed by nature now stand naked and barren, while simple houses are lit and dressed in their best holiday finery.  Even relationships that we had last year have perhaps changed, some for the better, others for the worse.  And if we are fortunate, we too will  have changed! Remember, it’s not the strongest or wisest that survive, but the one most adaptable to change.

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” -George Bernard Shaw

“Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do.” –Maya Angelou

Change is part of the master plan and is inevitable.    Life will happen, with or without our permission, engagement, or opinion. Our only choice is to decide whether we will grow from the change or not AND whether we will drive the change or let it drive us.  You  can fight it, shape it, or embrace it.  So, why not decide to grow, to improve, to be happier, to be financially secure, to become smarter, to become more virtuous and loving, and to make your mark and make a difference.

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