Tag Archives: self-help

Memorial Day: Honoring, Respecting, and Valuing ALL Life

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How can we befittingly pay tribute to those we wish to memorialize?

I think we best honor the dead when we truly appreciate, respect, and value ALL LIFE!  Perhaps we can all agree on the universal benefit of focusing on the value of all human life, whether it is a fetus or elderly, able or disabled, black or white, rich or poor, homeless or decadently housed, on foreign or American soil, whether Christian or Moslem, Buddhist or Bahá’í, gay or straight, male or female, employed or unemployed, sick or healthy, or famous or ordinary.   Diverse people remember, honor, and celebrate the dead in different ways.  Some somberly mourn their losses in rituals and visits to cemeteries, while others celebrate the life of the deceased by focusing on and valuing and appreciating the lives of the deceased.   What can you learn from the lives of those who are now on the other side of the sod?  What do you choose to remember?

Memorial Day offers an opportunity and  occasion to:

1. Stop and reflect on the value of every human life.

2. Examine the roles we individually and collectively play to make a difference during our own brief sojourn here.

3. Remember what is worth remembering about those who have passed on.

The ones we memorialize may be military, ancestors, friends, family members, religious figures, or someone totally unrelated, but whose lives and deaths have contributed positively to our understanding, opportunities, and freedoms.   It is an opportunity to learn from the past so that our lives will be more meaningful.

A lot of lives have been silenced in our history because of their diversity or beliefs and in the recent earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and wars. The suffering and pain continue long after the media has turned its attention to the next disaster or sensation.  Let’s not forget them.  What can you do to ease the suffering, change a life, and raise the esteem of the hopeless?  Remember, it is better to light one candle than to continually curse the darkness.  This memorial day, who will you light a candle for?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

The Energy of an Oprah Possibility.

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I was just reflecting on the amount of energy and hope I got from a simple call from a producer putting together a pilot for the Oprah Winfrey show.  In sharing this possibility and asking for prayers, this simple possibility spread energy and excitement to my family and friends as well.  That got me to thinking.  I have no idea of the outcome, and yet in the present moment I was excited and energized.  Since the opportunity has not yet been manifested physically, then it is not the outcome only that produces the energy, but the hope of a possibility does the same thing.

Energy Has Attraction Power

That being the case, then we should dream hopeful dreams and set exciting  goals all the time.  Like Jessie Jackson always said, “Keep hope alive.” What are you hoping for and what are you doing to “keep hope alive.”  It is that hope and faith that generate energy.  When there is no hope, there is no energy.  When there is no energy, we lose the power of attraction.  When we are feel hopeless we may be pushing away the very people who could help us and attracting the company of those who are also in misery.   Both hope and fear are contagious.  At any given moment, we are either spreading joyful energy or sucking energy out of everyone we connect with, so we must be very careful of our power.

We live our lives one moment at a time and if we have the power to influence the current moment and make it joyful, exciting, and hopeful, then we should do it habitually.  I also believe strongly that it is the energy of anticipation that helps to attract things to us.  Whether it is anticipating the realization of an exciting goal or the fearful anticipation of a calamity or negative outcome, our focus (energy) draws whatever we are thinking about to us.  I guess that’s why the Bible teaches us:  “As a man thinketh, so is he.”

The Science of Creating Your Own Luck

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Are you lucky?  Is there a science to luck or is it a spiritual blessing or divine grace?   I am one of those right brain people whose pendulum swings way to the right when given a choice to rely on science or spirit. I tend to look first towards spirituality to explain or guide me with work, relationships, and setting goals.  I also look for the spiritual lesson when I encounter adversity.  So, looking for a scientific explanation of why things are is not my first line of defense.  But, I’m consistently learning that science compliments spirituality and explains things logically.  With spirituality, I don’t have to know why; I just know what is.  But, science explains the why and I am even more confirmed.  For example, I know from experience that prayer and meditation work.  Science attempts to explain why.    But, I’m learning that it is not an either/or choice.  Both are valuable and both play a role.

4 Steps to Create Your Own Luck

Many people would consider me lucky.  I am if the definition is: “Luck is where opportunity meets preparedness.”  Yes I am lucky but I feel that my attitude and faith create my luck.  Richard Wiseman studies luck and has actually come up with a prescription for how it’s done.  You’ll want to read his insightful article, Be Lucky- it’s an easy skill to learn. He writes,  “My research revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four basic principles.They are:

  1. Skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities,
  2. Make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition,
  3. Create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and
  4. Adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.”

After graduating from his luck school, 80% of his students were luckier.  Scientific or spiritual luck?  Perhaps you don’t have to choose and can have both!  I’m  going to make sure I apply the principles above and for luck, I’m going to continue to pray.  There you have it.  Feeling luckier?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Study: 80 Percent of College Admissions Departments Stalk Your Facebook – TIME NewsFeed

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Did you know that 82% of college admissions officers use Facebook in their recruiting?  What image have you portrayed on your social media sites?  Is it one that seals the deal and gets you that letter?  Many high school seniors are anxiously awaiting to hear what colleges they will be attending.  Some are just beginning to apply.  I hope for your sake that you have not put anything on Face-book that paints you in an unfavorable light.  For all of you middle school and high schoolers, be careful what you put out on the social media sites.  It could come back to haunt you.  And college students and everyone else must also be careful of the image they portray on social media sites.  You’ll be looking for jobs one day.  Remember info in the webisphere can hang out there forever. Consider the following:

“We all know that employers check out your online persona, but the trend is spreading. Now your dirty laundry on the Internet could keep you out of college, too.

A new survey from Kaplan Test Prep reveals that 82 percent of admissions officers use Facebook in their recruiting. While this sounds like a positive spin on having an online presence – meaning the college of your dreams can see your interests and your favorite books. And maybe yours jive perfectly with that of the college’s dream student.”  Click below to continue article.

via Study: 80 Percent of College Admissions Departments Stalk Your Facebook – TIME NewsFeed.

Why Do We Have So Many Negative Thoughts?

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Every thought and emotion has its own energetic signature or wave frequency.  ToeTalkwithTina writes: “Even our thoughts and emotions are energy, and every specific thought has its own unique vibrational frequency. Anger has its own frequency. Depression has its own frequency. Jealousy has its own frequency, etc, etc. Remember…energy MUST move. So when we choose to stifle a negative thought or emotion, and just keep tucking away all those hurt feelings, it is the equivalent of a percolating volcano. Eventually something is going to move….or BLOW!”

Your Assignment

If you believe that what you focus on magnifies in our lives, then you need to make a conscious effort to use and focus on those words that enhance your life .  Here’s  your assignment:  For the next week eavesdrop on your thoughts, words, and your conversations.  How many of your words, conversations, and interactions were positive?

Research shows that we are far more negative words in our vocabulary than positive ones.  Robert Schrauf, associate professor of applied linguistics and an anthropologist at Penn State was quoted in an ABC News on-line article titled, “Study: Negative Words Dominate Language’. ” Schraf says he was a bit puzzled when he began analyzing data he collected that shows that regardless of age or culture, we have far more words in our vocabulary that express negative rather than positive emotions.  …I found this surprising result,” Schrauf says. “Half of all the words that people produce from their working vocabulary to express emotion are negative. And 30 percent are positive and 20 percent are neutral.”

He has an idea of why this is so,”Negative emotions require more detailed thinking, more subtle distinctions,” says Schrauf, whose research was published in a recent issue of the Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development. So we conjure up more negative words because the language needs to be precise. And this research suggests that’s probably true for every culture and every age group. Even though some of the words may not have precisely the same meaning in every language, they tend to be more negative than positive.”

Until next time…

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.