Category Archives: Leadership and Change

What did you do or not do to cause this to happen?

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VICTIM OR IN CONTROL?  This morning I was reflecting on the natural law of “cause and effect” and thinking how liberating this law is when we really understand it. We can’t have it both ways.  Either our decisions and input matters and creates or contributes to our reality or it doesn’t.  Either we can initiate, create, mold and shape our reality or we have to wait for input from our environment and always be in a response mode. Our results have a cause.

cause_effect_picWe change the cause and our results have to change too. Our past thoughts, decisions, and actions have created our current realities.  If we want different results, then we have to change the input.

Isn’t it exciting that we are the creators of our reality, that we get to choose?  We get to decide what we will put our energies into and those decisions create the effects we now experience. So many people meander through life following the masses and feeling and acting like victims.  They see the world as pins and themselves as pin cushions, powerless to stop or curtail the pain.  Their primary response to the world is “fight or flight”, and the world from their perspective is a cruel and unhappy place.

Think about it, if you are a victim, then you have no control over the outcome.  If the person victimizing or causing you pain chooses not to change their ways, you’re stuck!  I’d much prefer to own some part of the outcome.  That empowers me to change my circumstances.  “Self-actualized” beings have broken free from the pack.  They realize that they have unlimited power.  They own up to reality and know that what they are perceiving, they had some hand in creating.

In my workshops, I frequently encourage participants to answer this question to help them take credit or responsibility for their actions. Owning up to the life we have created causes us to cease feeling like victims and that is empowering. Whenever they look at a specific reality that is not to their liking, they must answer the question honestly:

“What did I do or NOT do to cause the the happen or NOT TO happen?

Barbara

Be a Better Bouncer: Control Your Thoughts

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MY TIMEBe Armed and Ready Each Morning to Direct Your Own Thoughts

Each morning when we awake, the world is ready to present to us what it wants us to focus on. The newscasters, marketers, reporters, and radio personalities have been up before the crack of dawn determining what they want us to think about.  What we think about, we help to bring about! They know that some will start their days with the television (even before prayer and meditation). Others will start with family demands, coffee and a newspaper, or perhaps with the phone calls, video games, social media, email, or the dramatic issues of those people around them. That is why it is so critical that we each learn to guard and direct our own thoughts!  If we don’t; others will!

What the world presents to us, we tend to see and think about. Thoughts lead to action.  Wallace D. Wattles, author of The Science of Getting Rich, warns that the hardest thing for human beings to do is to think their own thoughts and to hold a sustained and consecutive thought in their minds. He understood the destructive power of suggestions and distractions.  A confused and overwhelmed mind has very little power. All of this “information” we take in may seem harmless, but the sheer volume of these unplanned thought suggestions at their worst dishearten, discourage, and distract us from focusing on and creating the reality that we wish to see and manifest. We must control the journey our mind takes each day.

bouncer-droidWe each have been given a distinct calling and the creative tools to manifest whatever we focus our powerful thoughts on.

We must learn to guard your thoughts like bouncers guard the entry into exclusive clubs. They have a list. If you are not on the list, you don’t get in. Our values, beliefs, and goals serve as our list. But, these goals must be clear and we must be consciously vigilant to protect them because our minds don’t discriminate and will pay attention to whatever thoughts get there first.

You and I have the power and the responsibility (like a bouncer in a club) to determine what thoughts get in. We are thinking creatures and whatever thoughts get to our minds first take over.  Even if we manage to push them out, all thoughts still  leave their traces.

Other thoughts (perhaps your own) have to work harder to displace those lingering competing thoughts. That is why it is critical that we have our own clear goals! Write them out each night and reflect on before you go to sleep. This allows our subconscious mind to work on them while we sleep. Then, when we open our eyes each morning, we are ready to manifest our own dreams.Our internal bouncer has it’s own priority list.  However, if we don’t have specific goals and the self control to direct our own thoughts, these competing thoughts will continue to take over or distract us from making our own dreams come true.

Barbara

What You See Is What You Get!

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abstract-19141The moment you open your eyes each day, the world is ready with all its enticing entrapments to seize and take hold of your thoughts. Whatever and whoever controls your thoughts, controls you! We are first and foremost thinking creatures and what we see, we think about. AND, WHAT WE THINK ABOUT WE HELP TO BRING ABOUT! You may not realize it, but you may be unwittingly helping to bring about things you detest or are against, because what you think about, you give energy to. What you give energy to gains power.

Our brains are obedient and neutral and will focus on and try to make sense out of whatever is presented before it. It cares little if the thoughts are empowering (about abundance, joy, and hope), or destructive causing you to think about gloom, doom, and hopelessness.  Empowered human beings have learned that they must protect their thoughts by controlling what they see, hear, and think about.  They have learned that every thought influences their emotions and every emotion influences their actions, and actions are what create reality.  So the question is:

“Are you a responsible caretaker of your thoughts? Do you spend more time seeing, describing and focusing on what you see in your own visions, or like most people, do you spend the majority of your time focusing on, talking (or complaining about), and trying to understand what the world presents and describes as important each day.”

It is true, “What you see is what you get!” BUT, WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Each of us has a powerful brain which only we should have dominion over.  If you like what you are getting, chances are that you have been using your powerful creative energies to focus your thoughts on what matters to you.  On the other hand, if the images, thoughts, and words you see and hear cause you to be angry, fearful, or unhappy, then you have allowed destructive thoughts to take control. We only create reality in the current moment and if we allow ourselves to be distracted, our precious creative power is dispersed trying to describe and understand other people’s goals and perceptions. Some things presented to us educate, inspire, and uplift us; but the majority of useless thoughts lead us like a horse with a noose down the path of destruction.

To be at our best and be true to our own dreams, desires, and visions, we must learn to see beyond what is presented to us. The most important work you must ever do is to learn to take control of your thoughts despite what is before you. We must have clearly defined goals and learn to follow our own scripts, goals, or plans.  Therein lies our power!

Barbara

You Hit the Creation JackPot!!!

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You Could Have Been An Onion.

Stop!

Before you complain again about anything, appreciate the fact that YOU HIT THE CREATION JACKPOT.  You could have been an onion, slug, a roach, or a piece of sand. Instead you are blessed  to be human beings, to have the potential to mirror the attributes and qualities of God, and to be so valued and trusted as to be given consciousness, free will, and dominion over this world. Just think about the billions of  creations in this magnificent world of ours.  There are untold numbers of fruits, vegetables, plants, insects, birds, fish, organisms, and animals.  And yet, if you are reading this, you hit the creation jackpot because YOU GOT TO BE  A HUMAN.

“Humans have conscious thought and are aware of their consciousness. With this power, we can create or destroy, love or hate, believe or fear, take from others or serve them unselfishly. Circumstances may not be to our liking, but at least we have the capacity to change things and that’s the miracle and blessing of being a human.  Humans can create new reality.  Humans can make new and better choices.  Humans can willingly choose to change their circumstances through decisiveness, commitment, and focused action.”

Barbara Talley is a professional speaker, poet, and author.  Her presentations focus on vision, values, and virtues.  You can find more about her programs at www.ThePoetSpeaks.com

Don’t Just Sit There!

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Zig Ziglar wrote: “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there!” 

track- get movingIf we’re not moving, we need to figure out why! I’ve realized that I can’t do my best if I was not at my best.  No matter how talented you are, you too can’t do your best if you are not at your best!  Things can’t be alright if you are not right. We can’t give or attract what we don’t have.  Fortunately, we are resilient beings.  Through prayer, meditation, reflection, fasting, and journaling, I’ve learned to work my way back to “my normal.”  My goal is not to be like anyone else, but to be the best me.   I am now more confident than ever that we can have anything we want in this life, if we want the right things, are willing to do what’s right to get them, and have the will to work for whatever we want right now.  We also need to have the right people in our lives.

Doing the Right Things

What do you want out of this life?  Are your goals lofty or lowly, prideful or purposeful, serving others or self-serving, mediocre or meaningful?  Working harder won’t get you closer to your bliss, if you are not on the right path. The goal is not necessarily the gold, but to have golden relationships, golden memories, and a life full of golden and meaningful service and accomplishments.  I truly want to make a difference, but I also have financial needs.  My challenge was (and still is) to find the right balance.  I can’t tell you how many times people contact me wanting me to speak for free, even though this is how I earn a living.  No one would ask a doctor, lawyer, restaurant owner, or even a public servant to work for free.  I learned that although my heart was willing to give it away, I had to set boundaries.  I also had to really plan my time well.  I had to ask myself regularly, “Am I doing the right things that will move me closer to reaching my goals?  Am I being truly productive or merely confusing activity with accomplishment?” Once I set the right balance and the right boundaries, it gave me time to focus on the right things.

Doing What’s Right

Fortunately, my moral compass has been set on the right course for quite some time.  I attribute this to a regular spiritual routine of prayer, reflection, and meditation and a genuine desire to “do what is right.”  This was probably the most perplexing to me during my dark moments because I truly felt I was doing the right things, so why were things not turning out right for me?  I realized that just because they weren’t turning out the way I’d planned, didn’t mean that they hadn’t turned out right way or the way there were supposed to in the grand scheme of things.  If I was praying for guidance and being guided, perhaps the challenges were a way teaching me a lesson I needed to learn, making me stronger, or just simply redirecting my course.  I had to have faith and just let go.  So, if you are facing challenges, ask yourself first, “Am I doing what is right?”   And if you can honestly say that you are living a life of integrity, making moral choices, and honest in your interactions with others, just stay the course.  If, however, you have gotten off your moral track, then simply, get back on.

Doing What We Must Right Now

The third challenge is to make sure that we are doing something now and not procrastinating.  Remember, “A body in motion stays in motion.” Sometimes we know what we should be doing, but allow things of a lesser value to take precedence.  If we want to live on purpose, we must get our priorities straight.  To do this, we must set value-based goals, have a plan, and then work that plan.  This requires saying ‘no’ to people, things, and opportunities so that we can stay on track.  We can’t be everything to everybody and still do the work that we were uniquely put on this earth to do.   And in the end, we will be responsible for getting our work done; no excuses will be allowed.  Sometimes the window of opportunity is open for just a short time.  If we don’t act, we lose that opportunity and have to wait for it to open again if ever.  I have a strong belief that we make our own opportunities.  I personally don’t wait for them to happen; I meditate, come up with a plan, collaborate with others, and create my own opportunities.  As co-creators in creation, we have the power through our thoughts, deeds, and actions to manifest the kind of life we choose for ourselves.   Every thought has the potential to manifest as reality, but only if we do the right thing, the right way, and do it RIGHT NOW!

The Right People

“No man or woman is an island.”  We don’t stand alone; we are all connected.  That being said, we still must choose carefully the people in our lives.  Some people are there for a reason, others, a season, and a few are lifers.  We must accept this fact.  We sometimes outgrow our relationships.  Sometimes we need new fresh relationships to stimulate new growth, perspectives, and possibilities.  Sometimes the people in our lives that we care the most about cause us the most anxiety and grief.   I had to let go of a long time relationship with a friend who hurt me very badly during a time that I was most vulnerable.  It hurt me a lot because I was not prepared for it and it caught me off guard.  I’ve been taught to, “Make new friends, but keep the old because one is silver and the other is gold.”  Well, I’ve learned that silver can tarnish and gold can rust.  Relationships have to be two-way, giving and taking.  I’ll leave it at that.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.