Who’s Got Your Back?

Who’s got your back, for sure?  AND, whose back do you have?  We are all connected and there is power in unity. We were designed to be there for each other and not just for self. Are you honest, loyal, and trustworthy to those people who rely on you (and to everyone else for that matter)? There is a logical reason beyond the obvious for developing qualities of honesty, trustworthiness, and loyalty. When we are habitually faithful in these virtues, we are sending out powerful loving energy to the universe and attracting back to us the kinds of people with similar virtues as us.

Remember, you attract not what you want, but WHAT YOU ARE.

Who's Got Your Back?Everyone needs someone who they can rely on and trust wholeheartedly to be there through thick and thin.  That’s what true friends and family are for.

If you can’t trust the people who say they are behind you, first check to make sure that you have been loyal to them as well. If you have, and the relationship isn’t reciprocal, then perhaps you need to find those who will have your back. Life is way to short to spend it with people who bring no value to your life and don’t value you enough to give the kind of loyal relationships you deserve.  Just something to think about!

Another message that matters from Barbara Talley.

Don’t Work for Money!?

Money or Happiness with Barbara Talley

Money or Happiness. Barbara Talley invites you to ask the question.

SAY WHAT???  What if we instead sought happiness, first?  I know what you are thinking, Maslow’s Hierarchy (which has been challenged)? We can’t even think about happiness until we have enough money to pay for our basic needs: shelter, education, food, insurance, healthcare, clothes, transportation, travel, etc.

I too was once conditioned to believe that the primary reason you go to work is to make money. But Bob Proctor made a statement in one his ‘Science of Getting Rich’ program that caused me to rethink this commonly held paradigm. He asserts that the primary reason to work is to make a meaningful contribution by DOING WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. (He also asserts that trading time for money is the worst way to earn wealth too, but that’s another article, and that wealth is not acquired by WHAT you do but instead by HOW you do what you do.)

On the surface it makes sense. Who wants to work for, with, promote, or even be around someone who is chronically unhappy and apathetic? It’s clear that we need money to have a quality life but couldn’t happiness derived from offering a worthy service be the first or at least an equal consideration?  Happiness puts us into a frequency that attracts more of what we are thinking about to us.

I do not believe that I am Pollyanna or naive in my view either. I know we have to have money to survive but should “making money” become the sole or  primary motive for working. Remember we are trading our lives for this money, so it should fulfill us!  I guess we have to think about what’s the MOST important, money, happiness, or both?  So few feel that they even have the choice.  They say, “I have to work, not I choose to work!”  They don’t believe they have a choice, so they never ask the question about what would really make them happy!  If you chose to have both, then you are among the minority.  A recent article in the New York daily News reported that “an alarming 70% of those surveyed in a recent Gallup poll either hate their jobs or are completely disengaged, and not even incentives and extras can extricate them from the working man’s blues.”How can an economy or society progress with this level of unhappy employees at this level of disengagement?  Everyone at some level is seeking happiness and you can’t give what you don’t possess yourself.

Here’s to your happiness.  At the very least, allow yourself to ponder the question, “What work or service would make me really happy?” I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.

Dr. King’s Message of Hope

By Dick DeMarsico, World Telegram staff photographer [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was born on January 15, but his birthday is celebrated on the 3rd Monday in January. Dr. King’s life was dedicated to uplifting his fellow-man, the downtrodden, the poor, the hopeless, and the forgotten.  In Trumpet of Conscience, Dr. King reflected on hope:

If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose the courage to be, the quality that helps you to go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.”

We’ve got to do what we can to “keep hope alive” for the jobless, homeless, and hopeless.  Reflect on the time in which Dr. King lived and how he responded to difficulties.  In spite of everything he endured, the hoses and attack dogs, his home bombed, being spit on, jailed, ridiculed, and threatened with death, he still had hope and faith.  To read about my second favorite Dr. King quotes on Justice, click here… http://wp.me/ppImQ-e8

Barbara Talley is a keynote speaker, author, poet, and trainer who can be reached at www.thepoetspeaks.com.  Still looking for a keynote speaker for Black History Month, Women’s History Month, or Administrative Professional Day, phone Barbara at 301-428-4831.

Seven Life Lessons from Priming the Pump

hand pump fountainDo you remember the  60’s show, Green Acres with Eddie Albert and Zsa Zsa Gabor?  He wanted the farm life and she wanted the city life. I’ve tried both, and I prefer the suburbs!  I  grew up in the country, pumping water, chopping wood, making fires, and with all sorts of  chores. I’d like to say that, “Those were the good ole days, but they were not.”  Times were hard and we worked even harder. Now of course there are few things I miss. First are the people in life back then that are no longer with me anymore, a mother, father, brothers, friends.  Next was the weeping willow tree that I would lie under and dream. Those days did however teach me to work hard.  They also taught me the value of indoor plumbing and furnace heat. (LOL!) Looking back, it makes me appreciate even more what I have now.

I will also always have the memories of “priming the pump” to remind of the value of saving a little, working hard, having the willingness to sacrifice now for the bigger goal in the future, and to remember to take time out to enjoy what I’ve worked for.  The lessons I learned are:

    1. Always Have Faith and Certitude. Smart people rarely go after a goal that they don’t believe in.  We understand that we can’t (or won’t) run towards a goal that we have no faith that we can reach.  If we do, our steps are tentative and unsure. Luckily, we did not doubt as children.  We were showed how to pump and told to do it, and we did, time after time.  We believed; even though we could not see the water underground, we believed that the water was always there. All we had to do was work for it.  You too must also have complete faith and certitude that you have greatness within you and in the goal you are pursuing.  Faith is the key to starting, persevering, and finishing.
    2. Don’t Allow Yourself to Get Empty. We learned to always save a little water to prime the pump for the next time.  We never used our last bit of water, before re-filling our containers.  This relates to our goals in this way. Take care of yourself. It’s okay to help and serve others, but don’t deplete every ounce of your energy.  When you are worn-out, you are subject to all sorts of mental, physical, and spiritual illnesses. My sister would always say, “Stay prayed up!” You’ve got to protect yourself.  If you allow yourself to get too run down or too sick, or too hopeless, it becomes harder (and in some cases) almost impossible to regain your strength, your faith,  or to reach your goals.
    3. You Have to Put Something In Before You Get Anything Out. All of the lessons are important, but this one is the deal breaker. We knew that we had to sacrifice in advance to get something better later.  We had to sacrifice our water, our time, and our energy before we could expect something in return. There is a lesson in this for you too. You don’t get something for nothing. There is no credit in the well of life, meaning “Give me now and I’ll pay later.”  You must pay the piper first. Now the interesting thing was, sometimes if we hadn’t planned well, we’d have to use our last bit of water.  We’d pour the last bit we had into the pump in order to get more.  We were willing to make that sacrifice. The lesson was simple. If we weren’t willing to give it up our water, we would not be able to tap into the unlimited!
    4. You Must Be Ready; No Procrastination Allowed.  Now imagine this, once you’ve poured your limited (or last) supply of water into the pump, then you have to start pumping vigorously.  If you don’t start pumping (and pumping hard), you not only risk not getting any new water, but you will have just lost what little you had of the old.  Once we made the decision to prime the pump, we had to be ready. No procrastination was allowed. There was no time to do something else, make an excuse, or think about it. You had to see it through.
    5. Don’t Stop Until You Reach Your Goal.  Persevering with the pumping was the most critical stage. It didn’t matter how tired you were, how hot or cold it was outside, how you felt, how people felt about you, or anything at that point. You had to focus on pumping and persevere until you saw the results you sought. Sometimes we were lucky, we’d pump a little and waters would start flowing immediately.  Other times, we would pump and pump and not seem to get any results.  Sometimes we would have to add a little more water, some times we had to pump even harder, and other times you just have to pump longer.  The key is that we do what we had to do.  Excuses and quitting were never options.
    6. Give Back! We also learned to keep a certain jug set aside just for priming and we’d fill it before we would habitually fill the other containers so we wouldn’t forget.  The lesson, always give back and save a little.
    7. Enjoy Your Spoils.  Once the water starts flowing, it’s hard to stop it!  Victory is sweet! You have tapped into an unlimited underground reservoir. The fresh water under the ground was always so cold and refreshing especially on a very hot day.  On the cold days, that’s a whole different story.  It just meant that you got to go inside in the warmth and make some hot cocoa or something. Either way, we’d met our goal and that felt good!

That’s it!  Now go prime your own pump and reap your own rewards.

Barbara

What I Learned from Priming a Pump

old-fashioned-water-pump-janice-drewWhen I was a little girl, we lived in an old farm-house in upstate New York that did not have running water or indoor plumbing.  “No, I did not live in the early 1900’s on Little House on the Prairie.  And, “Yes”our neighbors did have inside plumbing. We just didn’t. My dad was a migrant worker and we were quite poor. If we wanted water, we had to work for it, just like we did for everything else. Right outside the house, we had a pump which supplied the water we needed to cook, bathe, and do laundry, etc.

The lesson I learned from priming a pump was that you have to put something in if you expect to get something out. On the success train, there is no free lunch, no credit, and no loafers.  You want to ride, you must pay the price.” Barbara Talley

There is a lesson in every experience when you’re open to learning. We also had one of those old-fashioned wringer washing machines and a rub board, but I digress!)  Every day, rain, shine, snow, or sleet, we’d go out to get some fresh water.  But before we could get the fresh water we had to first “prime the pump.”  That meant we had to take some of the water that was left and pour it into the pump and pump vigorously for a few minutes.  Pumping was always the hardest part for if you stopped before the water began to flow, you’d have to start all over. [We did get strong arms though.] So, we’d pump rapidly and rhythmically until water started to flow.  At first there would be no traction and if you didn’t know any better, you’d begin to doubt and perhaps even stop too soon. But if you continued pumping faithfully, eventually the water would begin to flow and you would barely have to pump at all.  At that point, the water would gush out and we could fill our containers as much as we desired.  We had a hard life back then, but there are lessons in everything.  If you listened to my father who walked five miles to school each day, our life was a piece of cake.

For those of you who have never had to prime a pump, be grateful.  You get to benefit from the lessons without the pain.  I’ve learned however, that we all have different lives, different challenges, and different lessons.  Lessons are made for sharing. Make sure to share yours too. That gives them meaning.  Please enjoy my seven lessons from “priming a pump” in my next blog.

Barbara