Tag Archives: Change and Personal Empowerment

Find Out What’s So Special About Today

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Today is a special day.  This hour is a special hour.  This moment is a special moment.  Why?  Because you are in it.  You are alive?  You get to breathe and see another day.  You have a mind and that makes you a co-creator in creation.  You have consciousness and you have another beautiful day to mold as you choose.  You’ll appreciate today even more when you realize that everyone doesn’t have that luxury. No matter what challenges you have in life, remember if you are alive you have a chance to fix them.  I just heard from a cousin today who lost her husband of 50 years.   And, even with such a heavy heart, she is choosing to focus on the fact that her soul-mate is no longer suffering and that is giving her the strength to make it to the next hour.

What’s So Special About Today? You Get To See It!

You are not promised today and you are not promised tomorrow either.  One of my father’s favorite quotes was, “It could be better, but it could be worse.”  That quote always puts things into perspective for me, no matter how bad things got.  There will always be things going wrong in your life, but at the same time, there will be things going right too.  We get to choose what we will focus on each moment and consequently what new tracks are being laid down in our subconscious that will become our memories and history.   Do you have sight?  Can you walk?  Can you speak?  Can you smell or touch?  Can you think?  Can you dream?  Can you believe?  Can you appreciate what you have? Today is special because it’s here right now and we get to see it.   You are special too so make today by appreciating and making the most of it.

’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Love Your Natural + Resources for “Going Natural”

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This post is primarily aimed at those who’ve gone natural or dreaded their hair.  What kinds of responses did (or do) to get from others?  Have you noticed a difference?  I’ve heard the comments.  My nephew was discouraged or at most “tolerated” for wanting to dread his hair.  Fortunately he had a mother who wore dreads and she supported his desire to wear his hear however he wanted it.  But, what’s up with those that discouraged him? Most said that it was because they wanted to protect him from the racism he would experience.  I don’t doubt that that is a valid premise, but how much do we need to give up to be accepted?  And if we are only accepted by changing ourselves, are we really being accepted?   Most cultures can get up, get in the shower, wash and shake their hair, and go.

Who Needs to Accept, Us or Them?

I know that twenty and thirty years ago I straightened my hair to fit in.  That’s what the women around me did and so did I.  A funny thing happened though a couple of years ago, I cut my hair for a photo shoot and decided to not relax it anymore.  After the relaxed hair grew out and was cut off, I found my own natural texture and I “loved it.”  Now I can blow dry it straight when I want a different look and wear natural when I want to. To think I was putting those toxic chemicals on my scalp for years and didn’t even need to.  And, as I got older, I was adding dye too when I could have used a natural henna.  I had done it so long that I didn’t realize the world had changed but I hadn’t, for people that were not of African American heritage actually liked my hair and commented more positively than “my own peeps.”

Resources for Going Natural

I also remember feeling very weird and out of place at an African American event at Howard University when most people were natural and at the time my hair was relaxed.  One of the presenters actually made a comment about us people with “fried hair.”  Fortunately, now we have more support if we wish to go natural, from sites like Naturally Curly, Carol’s Daughter, Curly Nikki , and Uncle Funky’s Daughter. I know in the past I relaxed my hair and my daughters’ hair because it was easier to maintain.  We probably were also subconsciously programmed to think that we “looked better too”.  Now we’ve got resources to help with the transition if we choose that route.  But, the goal is to love yourself and feel free enough to choose your way of expressing yourself without judgement.  Well that’s our food for thought for today.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Memorial Day: Befittingly Remembering

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 Who has passed on in your history, in the past few years, or even since the last Memorial Day?

Memorial Day is not only a time to remember deaths, but more importantly a time for us to remember the lives and contributions of those that have served, sacrificed, or meaningfully touched our lives and passed on.

If you truly valued the life of someone now departed, stop right now, write down their names, say a prayer for them, and REMEMBER them befittingly. What lessons can be savored, internalized, and used as a guide to make us better humans, employees, friends, spouses, students, neighbors, citizens, parents, children, and stewards of this beautiful planet?

Take a lesson from Sharon Parker of ROASA, Remembering Our Ancestors Synergistic Association who pulled together a local community to repair a leaking roof on the home of an elderly couple’s home or Judith Clark of Women Who Care Ministries whose non-profit brings together young and old volunteers who stand out in the scorching hot sun or freezing snow to collect food to feed hungry children.  And, remember those who are not traditionally remembered.  Remember the Buffalo Soldiers and women who have served our country.

Wikipedia defines a memorial as, “an object which serves as a focus for memory of something, usually a person (who has died) or an event.”  The key words for me are “a focus for memory of something.”Let’s reflect on the old adage, “If we don’t learn from the past, we are condemned to repeat it!”   Let’s not forget the true meaning of the day.  Part 3: Honoring Respecting, and Valuing ALL Life

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

The Energy of an Oprah Possibility.

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I was just reflecting on the amount of energy and hope I got from a simple call from a producer putting together a pilot for the Oprah Winfrey show.  In sharing this possibility and asking for prayers, this simple possibility spread energy and excitement to my family and friends as well.  That got me to thinking.  I have no idea of the outcome, and yet in the present moment I was excited and energized.  Since the opportunity has not yet been manifested physically, then it is not the outcome only that produces the energy, but the hope of a possibility does the same thing.

Energy Has Attraction Power

That being the case, then we should dream hopeful dreams and set exciting  goals all the time.  Like Jessie Jackson always said, “Keep hope alive.” What are you hoping for and what are you doing to “keep hope alive.”  It is that hope and faith that generate energy.  When there is no hope, there is no energy.  When there is no energy, we lose the power of attraction.  When we are feel hopeless we may be pushing away the very people who could help us and attracting the company of those who are also in misery.   Both hope and fear are contagious.  At any given moment, we are either spreading joyful energy or sucking energy out of everyone we connect with, so we must be very careful of our power.

We live our lives one moment at a time and if we have the power to influence the current moment and make it joyful, exciting, and hopeful, then we should do it habitually.  I also believe strongly that it is the energy of anticipation that helps to attract things to us.  Whether it is anticipating the realization of an exciting goal or the fearful anticipation of a calamity or negative outcome, our focus (energy) draws whatever we are thinking about to us.  I guess that’s why the Bible teaches us:  “As a man thinketh, so is he.”

Shocking Body-Image News: 97% of Women Will Be Cruel to Their Bodies Today: Health & Fitness: glamour.com

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“Read these words: “You are a fat, worthless pig.” “You’re too thin. No man is ever going to want you.” “Ugly. Big. Gross.” Horrifying comments on some awful website? The rant of an abusive, controlling boyfriend? No; shockingly, these are the actual words young women are saying to themselves on any typical day. For some, such thoughts are fleeting, but for others, this dialogue plays on a constant, punishing loop, according to a new exclusive Glamour survey of more than 300 women of all sizes. Our research found that, on average, women have 13 negative body thoughts daily—nearly one for every waking hour. And a disturbing number of women confess to having 35, 50 or even 100 hateful thoughts about their own shapes each day.”

via Shocking Body-Image News: 97% of Women Will Be Cruel to Their Bodies Today: Health & Fitness: glamour.com.

How many negative self body thoughts do you have each day?  When you look into the mirror are you loving and accepting or disgusted or dissatisfied?  Please read this article.  How can we love others if we have so much hatred for ourselves?  How can we appreciate others when we don’t even value our own image?  We  can’t give what we don’t have.  Love yourself and perhaps loving others will come easier.