12 Ways to Overcome the FEAR of Entrepreneurship (Part 3)

This article discusses the final four of twelve in ‘How to Not Be Afraid to Go into Business: Don’t Give Up, Protecting Yourself from Negative People, Hard Work, and Necessity in Excelling in What You Do.

  1. Don’t Give Up:  Just Change with The Times– As I mentioned, I’ve been in business almost 24 years and there have been some very good years and very bad years.  Instead of giving up, I’ve had to re-invent myself over and over through the years and change with the tides.  Your business must be fluid and flexible.  Sometimes I changed my products, sometimes my delivery method, other times, it was my audience.  Although I started off doing computer training, I made several transformations over the decades, to corporate trainer for Diversity, Leadership, and Sexual Harassment, then to Time Management, Goal Setting, and then Effective Communications.  Then I became a motivational speaker and author of six books and counting.  Just ask yourself regularly, “How can I  best serve my audience with my unique talents and abilities?”
  2. Protect Yourself from Naysayers, Negative folks, and Toxic People– One of hardest challenges I had to overcome was convincing those closest to me to stick with me through the hard times.  When money was flowing, things were good, but it when it wasn’t, I faced challenges in the business, my relationships, my finances, and my self-esteem.  You pretty much have to have a “thick skin”, unconditional faith and perseverance, and the ability to keep yourself motivated. That is why I had to carefully choose those who I allowed in my front seats.  Join like-minded associations, get out and network, and partner with others.
  3. Work As Hard for Yourself as You Do for Others– Once you go into business, you have to work as hard for yourself as you did for others.  In fact, you will probably have to work even harder.  When I was an employee, I was only responsible for a few set of tasks.  Once I became self employed, I was responsible for everything, taxes, course development, marketing, delivery of service, billing, self improvement, etc.  Now, one thing I’ve learned that I would do differently is that you must do what you do best and partner with or hire others to do what they do best. I had to become a “Superwoman” to take care of six kids, run a business, and save my sanity.  Now that’s a  topic for another time.
  4. Excel in Your Craft– My motto was to learn something every single day to better myself.  After every course I gave,  I harshly critiqued myself and updated my course materials  before the next time I gave that course again.  I always asked for feedback.  Sometimes it was harsh and hurtful, but I learned from all of  it.  But be careful, don’t focus too long on the negative.   I remember once re-thinking my decision to do Diversity training because one person was so rude, critical,  and cruel.  But instead, I focused on the hundreds of people who loved the course, and were changed by and appreciative of it.  Just do your best and keep listening and improving.  For most of my entrepreneurial career I survived on referrals.  I always tried to do more than was expected, be professional, and keep improving.  If you do that, you’ll excel, your customers will be happy and you will be in business for years.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

7 Lessons from Four Funerals

In this season of Thanksgiving and gift giving, when tensions are high and budgets are strained, and food, family, and shopping are on everyone’s mind, I’d like to offer a new perspective for the season, and ultimately for life. Attending four funerals in less than three months teaches you a thing or two about life, if you’re alert and listening.  Let’s learn from those who we have transitioned to the other side and not get side-tracked from what really matters in this fleeting earthly life.  Seven lessons follow:

  1. Spend time with people in ways that bring them joy and happiness. It is a less expensive and ultimately a more lasting gift.
  2. Give those you care about flowers while they can still see and smell them. Flowers don’t have to be physical flowers either.  Give your heart, your love, your time, your attention, your encouragement, and your kindness.
  3. Don’t say things that you may later regret. You’re familiar with the old adage, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.” There is some good in every single person.  Make it a priority to find that goodness and focus only on it.
  4. Reach out to family and friends. Pick up the phone, write, or visit people.  When you think about them, make an effort to connect with them.  Do what you can to bring your own family closer and let people know how much you care about them.  My son Shawn says that Lil Larry was our family’s Facebook before the internet facebook.  He kept in touch with everyone.
  5. Forgive each other and unite. Create rituals that keep the family unit connected. Ms. Frances called her sisters and children every day just to see how they were and to tell them she loved them.
  6. Say kind words while others can still hear them. At the funeral of Frances Coley, several people commented that they had NEVER heard her say an unkind word about anyone.  Can you say this?    It’s admirable to speak kindly of the dead, but it’s even more meaningful to say nice things of the living.  To be able to speak at all is a divine gift that only we humans have.  So use your words responsibly for they are powerful.
  7. Really care about other people. Be gentle with them and really listen to them.  Jacquelyn Lefton was one of those people who seemed to see your very soul when you were in her presence.  She always spoke softly and gently and looked you right in the eyes and nodded with each word.  You felt like she really heard you and that she fully understood what you were saying.  But more than this, you left her presence feeling like she really cared about you.  Remember, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!”

And finally, remember you can’t attach a U-Haul to a Hearse.  All you take with you and all you leave with others is confined to the heart.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, visit:  www.thepoetspeaks.com

Give Thanks for the People in Your Life

Thanksgiving 2010, the Talley family had a different kind of celebration.  Instead of food being the focus, our thoughts were on giving thanks for the people still in our lives and for the life of a very special nephew, Larry Daniel Talley. Lil Larry was killed after being thrown from a motorcycle just a few blocks from his home.  The graphic tribute below was created by his loving niece Indiah.

Ironically, he was taking a final spin before selling his bike that afternoon, but tragically it turned out to be his “final spin.”  And, at the age of 33, he was laid to rest on Friday, November 26, 2010, surrounded by an outpouring of love rarely experienced while one is still alive.

Make Everyone Feel Special

How was he able to attract over 600 people (some say almost 1000 with those who came and left) from around the country to his funeral in less than five days?  I think, probably because everyone who knew him felt his love for them.  He made everyone he knew feel special.  When you were around him, you knew you mattered to him. We affectionately called him ‘Lil Larry,’ but there was nothing little about him, he always had “big tales to tell, a big smile, a big laugh, and an even bigger heart.   He took the time to regularly connect with everyone, family, friends, and strangers alike.  Nothing was more important to him than family, he loved his family, and we knew it.

Don’t Wait to Show You Care

Why do we wait to let people know how much they mean to us until it is too late?  In the funeral service held for Mrs. Frances Barnes two months prior, the choir sang a song that left a lasting impression on me.  The lyrics, “Give me flowers while I can still see them; say kind words to me while I can still hear them,” still ring in my ears because of their profundity.  I learned similarly profound lessons from the lives or deaths of  Lil Larry, Mrs. Frances Coley, and Mrs. Jacquelyn Lefton.  Reflecting on ‘what we remember’ when a loved one passes on offers important lessons for this life and how we should live.  What will people remember about you?  [View a video tribute of  my nephew Lil Larry’s  life]

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, visit:  www.thepoetspeaks.com

You Can’t Attach a U-Haul to a Hearse

I spent the day after Thanksgiving burying a loved one.  During the past three months, I have attended four funerals and four times I have been “forced” or “privileged” to look at the eventual finality of this earthly sojourn and to put this whole human experience into perspective.  Interestingly, there has been at least one preeminent and recurring lesson through them all: in the end, all that there is, all that matters, is love! [Note: Thing 1(Laylah)- in the picture below is the three-year-old daughter of my nephew who died last week,  Thing 2-(French Pope IV is my grandson.]

How Many Lives Do You Touch?

Love is the glue that connects hearts in this life and in the next.  In the end, no one cares how much money you had or didn’t have, what degrees you had or did not have, what jobs you lost or found, where you lived, what you wore, or what you drove, none of that really matters.  No one cares how much “stuff” you have; because in the end, no one attaches a U-Haul to a hearse.  Love is all that you take with you.  The one with the biggest heart wins!  And, in the end life asks a different set of questions: How many lives did you touch?” How much love did you give?  How much did you care?  And more importantly, how successful were you in letting people know how much you cared about them?

Don’t Wait to Show You Care

Why do we wait to let people know how much they mean to us until it is too late?  In the funeral service held for Mrs. Frances Barnes two months prior, the choir sang a song that left a lasting impression on me.  The lyrics, “Give me flowers while I can still see them; say kind words to me while I can still hear them,” still ring in my ears because of their profundity.  I learned similarly profound lessons from the lives or deaths of  Lil Larry, Mrs. Frances Coley, and Mrs. Jacquelyn Lefton.  Reflecting on ‘what we remember’ when a loved one passes on offers important lessons for this life and how we should live.  We don’t control our entrants or exits, or when we take our first and last breath. So it would behoove us to get our houses in order.   What will people remember about you?  What will you take with you?

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, visit:  www.thepoetspeaks.com

Lessons Learned from Competing #6A: Integrating Faith with Works

You must make sure you integrate Faith with your Works if you wish to see any significant results.  Faith is our sincere belief in what we are doing.  It’s easier to believe in something when we’ve prayed about it, feel love and have passion towards it, and can see it in our visions.

Our work refers to our deeds and means that we are actively doing something to achieve that which we say we believe in.  It’s so much easier to work at something when we know that it provides a valuable service, excites us, and makes a difference in the world.  But, we need both faith and works to accomplish our goals and be successful in our pursuits.  Performing arbitrary meaningless mundane actions and not really believing in what we are doing is as counter productive as believing strongly in something but taking no action at all.  So before you begin, ask for what you really want and believe it is possible, the rest is in the details.

Faith Is The Absence Of Fear and Fear Is The Absence Of Faith

So, why is it so hard for us to ask for more out of life so that we can reach our highest potential?  Two reasons come to mind when I think about why people do or don’t ask for more out of life, fear and faith.  And, when you really boil it down, it’s only one thing, for fear is the absence of faith and faith is the absence of fear.  Fear and faith are like two sides of the same coin.   You can only see one side at a time, when you flip it over you see the other side, but not both.  So choose!

Faith is the Catalyst to Attracting Success and Supporters

I’d now like to share two quotes from, ‘A Course in Miracles’ on faith, the first, If you knew who walked beside you, at all times, on this path that you have chosen, you could never be afraid.”

If you only knew who walked beside you at all times, you would never be afraid to reach your potential.  You would never be afraid to ask for what you want and you would never be afraid that you would not receive.  The second quote is, “Alone we are all lowly but, together we shine with brightness so intense that none of us alone can even think of it.” The key to seeing is to integrate faith with works.  You have to take action and do something. Your actions and your faith become the catalyst to attracting your success and supporters to you.

Nothing Happens If You Don’t Act!

When I entered the OWN Show Competition, I only had a 8 days to get the word out and I knew I could not do it alone.  Stan put together the video and made it all possible.  Maxine emailed people, called people, and even passed out flyers at the metro without me even asking.  Maxine, Roya, Tony, and Clif became my online warriors, voting continuously and telling everyone they knew to do the same.  Roya was so passionate about helping me that she inspired her friend Kadijah, who didn’t even know me  to pass out flyers at the metro too.  It was their magnanimous support and love that gave me the courage to get in the game and stay in the game in spite of the odds.  My sisters (Betty and Linda), my husband Gile, and my children voted and asked their friends to vote also.   I was truly blessed by the outpouring of support.  But, nothing would have happened if I did not act first.  Acting is the key to attracting. Click below to continue to Part B of Lessons Learned from Competing: Integrating Faith with Works