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My Success Formula (pt 5c)- More on Expectations and Emotions

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If You Think You Can, You Can!

(From 5b: Expectations and Emotions)

To sum it all up, if you expect good things to happen  with all your heart, in most cases they will.  The key word here is heart.  The heart holds the power of attraction.  This is also true of less desirable outcomes.  What you feel, you attract.  So, are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic about your dreams, goals, and future?

Expectations+ Emotions Have Creative Power

Whatever you are feeling, you are creating.  Our feelings move us beyond lip service. So we’ve got to think about and feel about only those things we want to attract into our lives.  When you truly love someone or something, you can’t help but think about, talk about, and feel exhilarated by that person or thing.  This energy moves you to action.  It is the same principle when pursuing our dreams.  It’s not enough to just want success.  We must also think, speak, act, and feel our way to our goal.  That is when we begin to realize the power of expectations. When our expectations and emotions are congruent we excel.  You can’t expect something wonderful and hate or resent it at the same time.  You can’t fear something awful and want or love it.

Pygmalion and Galatea Effects

I just read an article about the power of expectations at work,’The Pygmalion and Galatea Effects.  In this About.com article, Susan Heathfield writes, “Your expectations of people and their expectations of themselves are the key factors in how well people perform at work. Known as the Pygmalion effect and the Galatea effect, respectively, the power of expectations cannot be overestimated.” I submit, that your expectation is the key factors in achieving any goal you pursue whether professional or personal.   In another article on the Galatea effect, the author writes, “One of life’s greatest gifts you can give someone is to believe in them. Think about someone who believes in you? Don’t you work harder to live up to those expectations? Sure you do. It’s human nature.” Another fact of human nature is that you get back magnified what you send out.  So, give someone a priceless gift by letting them know how much you believe in them.  Continue to 5c: Expectations and Emotional Congruence.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 5a)- Expectations

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(Continued from Part 4: Thoughts)

This is the fifth in the series describing my personal success formula. We’ve discussed how we must first have a vision or an outcome in mind.  Next, we must be aware of and seek the knowledge required to create a plan and carry it out.  Thirdly, we must have the faith or belief that our vision or dream is possible.  Then we must make sure that our thoughts are positive and affirming and work in our favor.   After that, we must be clear about and focus on the importance and power of our expectations.  The ‘E” in my formula stands for expectations and emotions.  While our thoughts focus on visualizing and articulating our vision, our expectations also include an emotional aspect.

Emotions Motivate Quicker Than Thoughts

Some experts say our emotions motivate us to action quicker than our thoughts do.  How many times have you thought about doing something and even talked about doing something, but never really did anything about it?  Everyone has had that happen.  So, what is it that moves us to action?  It is our emotions!  They can make us do something or prevent us.  But, which emotions are the most powerful?  Continue to 5b: Expectations and Emotions )

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula- Thoughts (continued)

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What’s In Your Subconscious Program?

(Part 1 of Thoughts) Are you open to new ideas, thoughts, or perspectives?  Or, are you closed-minded? Your answer probably has a lot to do with your programming.   We have thought, accepted, and believed much of our early programming because that’s how the early programming mechanism works.  Children learn how to walk, talk, socialize, etc. in just a few short years.  Adults take years to learn a new language, a toddler learns it and more. It works this way because there is a lot to learn in a short period of time.  And, this would be great, if all the adults in our lives, our society, and the world had it together.  Unfortunately many people are negative.  Bruce Lipton states that 70% of our thoughts are negative.  Think back to the year you were born.  What was society like those first six years?  What influenced your parents and their thoughts back then.  What programming was likely downloaded into your infant brain?  If you want to know what you’ve been thinking consciously and subconsciously, examine your current reality.  What is manifesting?  What do you see around you?  What are you feeling?  What is your reality?

Understanding the Subconscious Mind

The subconscious is the seat of our information.  It stores everything that we  have thought, learned, taught, seen or heard.  It is powerful beyond measure and is neutral.  It outputs only what has been input from the environment.  There is no good or evil with it, there is just information.  I remembered about twenty years ago learning about the power of the subconscious mind.  I learned to do affirmations as a way of re-programming my subconscious mind. I believe that it was that programming that created the positive mindset I have today.  I remember as a child challenging the negative programming that I was receiving about my self-worth.  Race, gender, and my socio-economic condition placed me in a lot of self-limiting boxes.   When I would hear something devaluing, I would tell myself, “That isn’t true; I’m going to be somebody.”  I wish I had said, “I am somebody right now.”  That way I wouldn’t have had to waste years chasing that elusive day when I had worth.  Fortunately a spiritual transformation occurred in my life when I learned that I was “created noble.”  After that I tried to make that thought become a reality.  We have the power to re-program, but it is a conscious effort.  We can’t operate on auto-pilot and expect to change our programming. We are a result of our nurturing, environment, opportunities, and nature and we have the power to change these right now by our choices and our thoughts.  Part 5a of Formula: Expectations

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt3)- Belief

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Continued from Part 2: Knowledge

You’ve heard it before. “If you believe you can’t, you can’t; if you believe you can, you can!”  I don’t know which of the elements in my success formula is the most important, but I know belief or faith ranks way up there.  Think about it, someone could accidentally achieve an outcome that fulfills them that they didn’t plan for in the beginning.   Sometimes you have to just get started and have faith that certitude and clarity will come to you in time. When I started my career, I was working in technology.  I didn’t plan in the beginning to be a motivator, writer, speaker or poet. But, here I am.  You may not even have all the knowledge you need, because you learn as you go.

B=Belief Is Essential.

Faith is the fuel that gets us going and keeps us moving towards our goals.  Without faith, we don’t try.  Rarely do you see people giving their all to a pursuit that they do not believe in.  Belief is the glue that holds the whole dream together until it is firmly manifested as reality.  Every part of my success formula is affected by belief.  The thoughts, words, and actions of a person who believes in their dreams is very different from someone who doubts, disbelieves, or who fears.  (Belief (2) continued)

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

How I Got Back on Track?

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(Click to listen to this message instead.)

I realized that I couldn’t do my best if I was not at my best.  No matter how talented you are, you too can’t do your best if you are not at your best!  Things can’t be alright if you are not right. We can’t give or attract what we don’t have.  Fortunately, we are resilient beings.  Through prayer, meditation, reflection, fasting, and journaling, I worked my way back to “my normal.”  My goal is not to be like anyone else, but to be the best me.   I am now more confident than ever that we can have anything we want in this life, if we want the right things, are willing to do what’s right to get them, and have the will to work for whatever we want right now.  We also need to have the right people in our lives.

Doing the Right Things

What do you want out of this life?  Are your goals lofty or lowly, prideful or purposeful, serving others or self-serving, mediocre or meaningful?  Working harder won’t get you closer to your bliss, if you are not on the right path. The goal is not necessarily the gold, but to have golden relationships, golden memories, and a life full of golden and meaningful service and accomplishments.  I truly want to make a difference, but I also have financial needs, my challenge was to find the right balance.  I can’t tell you how many times people contact me wanting me to speak for free, even though this is how I earn a living.  No one would ask a doctor, lawyer, restaurant owner, or even a public servant to work for free.  I learned that although my heart was willing to give it away, I had to set boundaries.    I also had to really plan my time well.  I had to ask myself, am I doing the right things that will move me closer to reaching my goals.  Am I being truly productive or merely confusing activity with accomplishment?  Once I set the right balance and the right boundaries, it gave me time to focus on the right things.

Doing What’s Right

Fortunately, my moral compass has been set on the right course for quite some time.  I attribute this to a regular spiritual routine of prayer, reflection, and meditation and a genuine desire to “do what is right.”  This was probably the most perplexing to me during my dark moments because I truly felt I was doing the right things, so why were things not turning out right for me.  I realized that just because they weren’t turning out the way I’d planned, didn’t mean that they hadn’t turned out right way or the way there were supposed to in the grand scheme of things.  If I were praying for guidance and being guided, perhaps the challenges were a way teaching me a lesson I needed to learn, making me stronger, or just simply redirecting my course.  I had to have faith and just let go.  So, if you are facing challenges, ask yourself first, “Am I doing what is right?”   And if you can honestly say that you are living a life of integrity, making moral choices, and honest in your interactions with others, just stay the course.  If, however, you have gotten off your moral track, then simply, get back on.

Doing What We Must Right Now

The third challenge is to make sure that we are doing something now and not procrastinating.  Remember, “a body in motion stays in motion.” Sometimes we know what we should be doing, but allow things of a lesser value to take precedence.  If we want to live on purpose, we must get our priorities straight.  To do this, we must set value-based goals, have a plan, and then work that plan.  This requires saying ‘no’ to people, things, and opportunities so that we can stay on track.  We can’t be everything to everybody and still do the work that we were uniquely put on this earth to do.   End the end, we will be responsible for getting our work done, no excuses will be allowed.  Sometimes the window of opportunity is open for just a short time.  And, if we don’t act, we lose that opportunity and have to wait for it to open again if ever.  I have a strong belief that we make our own opportunities.  I personally don’t wait for them to happen; I meditate, come up with a plan, collaborate with others, and create my own opportunities.  As co-creators in creation, we have the power through our thoughts, deeds, and actions to manifest the kind of life we choose for ourselves.   Every thought has the potential to manifest as reality, but only if we do the right thing, the right way, and do it RIGHT NOW!

The Right People

“No man or woman is an island.”  We don’t stand alone; we are all connected.  That being said, we still must choose carefully the people in our lives.  Some people are there for a reason, others, a season, and a few are lifers.  We must accept this fact.  We sometimes outgrow our relationships.  Sometimes we need new fresh relationships to stimulate new growth, perspectives, and possibilities.  Sometimes the people in our lives that we care the most about cause us the most anxiety and grief.   I had to let go of a long time relationship with a friend who hurt me very badly during a time that I was most vulnerable.  It hurt me a lot because I was not prepared for it and it caught me off guard.  They say we are to make new friends, but keep the old because one is silver and the other is gold.  Well, I’ve learned that silver can tarnish and gold can rust.  Relationships have to be two-way, giving and taking.  I’ll leave it at that.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.