Tag Archives: motivation

What did you do or not do to cause this to happen?

Posted on by
2

VICTIM OR IN CONTROL?  This morning I was reflecting on the natural law of “cause and effect” and thinking how liberating this law is when we really understand it. We can’t have it both ways.  Either our decisions and input matters and creates or contributes to our reality or it doesn’t.  Either we can initiate, create, mold and shape our reality or we have to wait for input from our environment and always be in a response mode. Our results have a cause.

cause_effect_picWe change the cause and our results have to change too. Our past thoughts, decisions, and actions have created our current realities.  If we want different results, then we have to change the input.

Isn’t it exciting that we are the creators of our reality, that we get to choose?  We get to decide what we will put our energies into and those decisions create the effects we now experience. So many people meander through life following the masses and feeling and acting like victims.  They see the world as pins and themselves as pin cushions, powerless to stop or curtail the pain.  Their primary response to the world is “fight or flight”, and the world from their perspective is a cruel and unhappy place.

Think about it, if you are a victim, then you have no control over the outcome.  If the person victimizing or causing you pain chooses not to change their ways, you’re stuck!  I’d much prefer to own some part of the outcome.  That empowers me to change my circumstances.  “Self-actualized” beings have broken free from the pack.  They realize that they have unlimited power.  They own up to reality and know that what they are perceiving, they had some hand in creating.

In my workshops, I frequently encourage participants to answer this question to help them take credit or responsibility for their actions. Owning up to the life we have created causes us to cease feeling like victims and that is empowering. Whenever they look at a specific reality that is not to their liking, they must answer the question honestly:

“What did I do or NOT do to cause the the happen or NOT TO happen?

Barbara

Be a Better Bouncer: Control Your Thoughts

Posted on by
5

MY TIMEBe Armed and Ready Each Morning to Direct Your Own Thoughts

Each morning when we awake, the world is ready to present to us what it wants us to focus on. The newscasters, marketers, reporters, and radio personalities have been up before the crack of dawn determining what they want us to think about.  What we think about, we help to bring about! They know that some will start their days with the television (even before prayer and meditation). Others will start with family demands, coffee and a newspaper, or perhaps with the phone calls, video games, social media, email, or the dramatic issues of those people around them. That is why it is so critical that we each learn to guard and direct our own thoughts!  If we don’t; others will!

What the world presents to us, we tend to see and think about. Thoughts lead to action.  Wallace D. Wattles, author of The Science of Getting Rich, warns that the hardest thing for human beings to do is to think their own thoughts and to hold a sustained and consecutive thought in their minds. He understood the destructive power of suggestions and distractions.  A confused and overwhelmed mind has very little power. All of this “information” we take in may seem harmless, but the sheer volume of these unplanned thought suggestions at their worst dishearten, discourage, and distract us from focusing on and creating the reality that we wish to see and manifest. We must control the journey our mind takes each day.

bouncer-droidWe each have been given a distinct calling and the creative tools to manifest whatever we focus our powerful thoughts on.

We must learn to guard your thoughts like bouncers guard the entry into exclusive clubs. They have a list. If you are not on the list, you don’t get in. Our values, beliefs, and goals serve as our list. But, these goals must be clear and we must be consciously vigilant to protect them because our minds don’t discriminate and will pay attention to whatever thoughts get there first.

You and I have the power and the responsibility (like a bouncer in a club) to determine what thoughts get in. We are thinking creatures and whatever thoughts get to our minds first take over.  Even if we manage to push them out, all thoughts still  leave their traces.

Other thoughts (perhaps your own) have to work harder to displace those lingering competing thoughts. That is why it is critical that we have our own clear goals! Write them out each night and reflect on before you go to sleep. This allows our subconscious mind to work on them while we sleep. Then, when we open our eyes each morning, we are ready to manifest our own dreams.Our internal bouncer has it’s own priority list.  However, if we don’t have specific goals and the self control to direct our own thoughts, these competing thoughts will continue to take over or distract us from making our own dreams come true.

Barbara

Pageant Essentials: Beauty, Butt Glue, and Bronzer

Posted on by
1
Radiance Talley

Radiance Talley

Eighty-six beautiful girls stepped onto the stage, dawning their best smiles, high heels and faces made up to perfection. All were hopeful that they would be crowned the next Maryland Teen USA Pageant winner, but knowing that only one could win.  After several months of raising funds and shopping for the perfect dress, several days of final prepping with the experts, and several hours practicing, primping, and being paraded before judges, within minutes, it was all over!  One lovely deserving girl took home the crown, the remaining eighty-five hopefuls packed their things somberly: some in shock, some sobbing in their parents arms, and others holding back tears while comforting the other girls.

So Many Lessons Learned

My daughter participated in the 2014 Miss Maryland Teen USA Pageant on November 2-3, 2013 and was one of the eighty- five that left without the crown. And, although she did not win the crown, nevertheless she left a winner.  She was a winner because she took a risk and tried something outside her comfort zone.  The Pageant world is a world of high heels and makeup; she had only worn makeup once before the Pageant and that was to get a photo for the Pageant. She is a winner because she learned valuable lessons that she would never have learned looking in from the outside.  For example, she remarked, “I had to wear a fake smile at times because there was so much to think about that I wasn’t really enjoying the experience.”  She said she got more joy out of reciting her poetry to audiences and tutoring little kids. She was a winner because she learned to experience loss with gratitude, grace, and beauty and to focus on others (which is her nature).

Radiance’s Most Notable Experience

Now the most fun was hands-down the Saturday night party. When I asked her to share one notable experience of the Pageant, her face lit up when she shared how she had helped the makeup artist who desperately needed someone to talk to. The lady had arrived late to do her makeup because she was sick,  had cancer, and was being treated meanly by the other makeup artists. Radiance joyfully concluded, “Maybe that was the whole reason I was there!” After the Pageant, while all the girls were scurrying around saying their final goodbyes, she insisted we find the makeup artist so she could get a picture with her as she had promised. The lady beamed and explained how she got goosebumps from talking to Radiance and felt that she was the winner. Radiance however felt that God’s Will had been done, “If I had won,” she said, “I’d have to wear a two piece bathing suit at the USA Pageant,” she said.  “And I feel that would be compromising my values.”

Well, that’s the overview.  In part 2 (SMH x2), I share my observations from a mother’s perspective on pageants.  Now, you’re probably wondering why I titled this article butt glue?  Well it is the one thing that can make or break a Pageant hopeful.  I didn’t even know what the stuff was.  Evidently all models and pageant people know about it.  It glues your swimsuit to your butt so that it doesn’t slide up or in.  You can even lose ten points from your score if that happens.  Imagine that!  As for the bronzer, they were selling that stuff at the orientation like it was the secret to the fountain of youth. Anyway, check out part two for my SMH conclusion.

~B

Are You Drowning in A Thimble?

Posted on by
Reply

Screen Shot 2013-10-08 at 10.52.13 AM

Once after a talk, I had just given,  a lady came up to me and said, “I thought I was drowning in a ocean, but after hearing your story, I realize that I am just drowning in a thimble.”  She explained,

“I’ve magnified my problems in my mind to such an extent that I’ve felt like I’m drowning in an ocean and I now realize they aren’t as big as I’ve made them out to be. Thank you for helping me put things into perspective.” 

What she meant was that her problems (from her new perspective) were minuscule or thimble size in comparison to mine. I had an impact on her that day and she in equal measure, had an impact on me.  Just as her problems paled in comparison to mine, so do my problems when compared to others. So let’s put things into perspective.  Some people are dying; others are homeless or refugees; many have mental or physical illness; some are jobless!  Some are losing a loved one, a home, or a marriage today. Others are losing their freedom, their ability to walk, see, or hear.  All of us I suppose tend to make our situations worse than they really are by focusing on the worst outcome.  But, in all cases, our stories (trials, tribulations, or woes)  when compared to others may not be that bad.

It Could Be Better, but It Could Be Worse

I felt like I too was drowning in a thimble after hearing a prison account of a young girl in Iran who was imprisoned because of her faith in God. Imagine this: A young girl was imprisoned for three years simply because she was trying to teach the youth around her about God.   She was only able to get 30 minutes of sunlight a day and lived in isolation, no refrigerator, no mirror, no one to talk to.  And yet her account of the experience was filled with gratitude.

She faced each day prayerfully, reciting “Is their any remover of difficulties save God…” over 1000  times a day!   And, the brief time she was out of prison, she was comforting families of the imprisoned, typing her notes so that she could share her prison accounts,  and getting books so that she could continue to learn.  She was a Baha’i in a Muslim country teaching the youth to love everyone, that there was only One God, One Human Race, and One Unfolding Religion, from time immemorial.  For wanting to promote unity, she had all of her freedoms stripped away from her.All I can say is, “What a jewel.”  I pray that God continues to protect and bless her and keep her strong.

Put Things into Perspective

When I heard her story, I too had had to put things into perspective.  For while I too had felt that I  drowning in a ocean, her story helped me to see that it was only a thimble.   What a wonderful message of faith, patience, radiant acquiescence, and service she taught me by her encouraging words written from that prison. Many of us think we have a reason to complain. And we begin and end our days spreading our pain, gloom and doom.   But when we hear a story of adversity, like the one of this young girl, all of our problems pale by comparison. We can change our perspective IF we choose  to. Now today, you have a choice on how you will choose to view the world.  Will it be from a perspective of gratitude, hope, or power?  We can spend the day parroting bad news or we can focus our thoughts on the good around us.  You can choose to view your circumstances as an ocean and picture yourself powerless, sinking, or  drowning OR view yourself and your God as powerful and put all of what you are going through in perspective.  Ocean as a thimble?  Your choice will impact your joy, happiness, and that of those around you.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

http://www.barbaratalley.com

Wake Up!

Posted on by
Reply
Each sunrise is a gift. http://www.barbaratalley.me

Each sunrise is a gift. http://www.barbaratalley.me

SO, JUST WAKE UP ALREADY!

You can’t wake anyone else up if you are asleep yourself. Signs of being awakened are love, kindness, appreciation, gratitude, and joyousness.  Complaining, backbiting, and pointing out other people’s shortcomings are signs that we too are not fully awakened to your reality and power.  Awakened people understand that the thoughts we hold take hold of us, and so we consciously choose to live in a positive state.  Awakened people realize that negative displays don’t make things better, they just waste their valuable time and energy.  Sadly, most of humanity is asleep to their identity, power, connectedness, responsibility and capacity.  Most think we are just a higher version of the animals destined by some unknown fate. We are so much more!  If only we could see our own nobility and power and that of others, we’d instead focus on educating, encouraging, and envisioning a better future for us all.

When people know better, they do better.

It is irrational to expect people to make changes when they are still asleep and unaware of their power. Mindfulness, alertness, and self awareness are essential gifts that are available to everyone. Unfortunately, so many people are mentally asleep, unaware of their gifts and powers, or are too busy scurrying about to notice the magnificent blessings all around us.  Life itself is a blessing!  Awareness is a blessing!  To have the power to create or re-create reality is a blessing.

We have to train ourselves to be in the NOW, to be aware of the present moment, and to notice what is happening right now.  The majority lives in the past or the present, and so few live in the present.  And the  irony is, CREATION ONLY OCCURS IN THE CURRENT MOMENT! If we want to change our circumstances, we can only do it in the current moment.  But to change, we must be present in the current moment.  Just start noticing and appreciating more and you will become more aware.  You  can train yourself to become more aware by beginning to habitually notice a simple sunrise.

The sunrise is just the beginning of the gifts that the aware will notice throughout their day. The Creator paints the sky each morning and evening with a fresh picture and in beautiful breathtaking colors to remind us that we too are creators and that we are loved and valued.  With each step we take during the day we can learn to appreciate the ability to move.  With each sound we hear during the day we can be grateful for our hearing.  With each smile we give and receive we can be thankful for our ability to touch others and feel their warmth and love.  With each thought we choose, we can be thankful for our ability to create new realities.  Haven’t we been taught that the reality of man is his thought?   With each word utter we can be mindful of its power to influence and we can willing choose the words that encourage others instead of those that depress or sadden them.  We can mindfully choose to spread hope and joy instead of fear and doubt.  As humans, we must always remember that we have a choice, AND that’s what makes us human.  But, with this choice and OUR innumerable blessings come great responsibility.  We are here to grow, mirror the qualities of God,  and make things better.  Today is a wonderful new day and it’s ours to do as we wish.  I’m determined to make mine magnificent, you can too?