Tag Archives: positive thinking

Race and Hair: Do You Wear Your Hair Natural?

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Appreciating Our Natural Hair

I am so happy to soon be witnessing a beautiful example of unity in diversity as demonstrated in my niece’s upcoming nuptials.   I was heartened by the unique respect for diversity that she and her fiance both live and breathe.  He is Indian and Hindu; she is Christian and African-American.  Yes, this is the same couple that is donating their wedding gifts to charity.  So it’s not their diversity alone that make them special, but their character.  I sat in awe at a recent dinner as my niece’s fiance expressed his knowledge of the plight of African American’s in history, his love for the natural texture of my niece’s hair, and his love and respect for both my niece and sister.

He was the one she explained that encouraged her to “go back natural.” She commented that while “going natural” that she had more challenges with people from within our own culture than from the outside.

What Does Hair Mean to You?

Last month I spoke to an audience in Florida at an event organized by 100 Concerned Black Women and the topic of hair came up.  My co-presenter Iris Cooper had cut off her hair and a lady in the audience who self reportedly had worn wigs most of her life challenged why she did it.  The next day the older lady came to a followup session dawning her own hair.  She recounted how freeing it was.  She somehow had felt she needed validation, permission, and acceptance to free herself.  She explained how all her life she was called ugly because of her short hair.  And, now there is another trend, cutting off our hair that we’ve taken so long to grow and  letting go of what “long hair” means.  How do you feel about cutting your hair off?   It appears that we’ve still got a lot of work to do before we get to the point that we realize that we don’t all have to look the same and can see our own naturalness as beautiful.  What does your hair mean to you? Does it represent beauty, culture, image, or identity.  Is it your crown or crowning glory?  Please comment and share “your hair story.”

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

We Don’t Want Any Wedding Gifts

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Last night I had dinner with two of my sisters, my niece and her fiance.  Both my niece and her fiance are lawyers that have graduated from Georgetown.  They are both such unique young people, so much so that I awoke this morning and had to take some time to reflect on my thoughts especially their request to not give them any wedding gifts, but to instead give the money to charity.  And, they are not wealthy.  They are just starting out, have very few material trappings, and their share of college loans to repay and yet their thoughts are not on themselves but on the less fortunate.  In a sea of materialism,  and “me” mentality, they did NOT want gifts.  They wanted a simple ceremony so that their friends and family from around the world could share in their union.  And if it weren’t for respecting families and traditions, they wouldn’t have done a big wedding at all.  If the future has more young folks like them, then we have a bright future ahead of us indeed.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Memorial Day: Befittingly Remembering

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 Who has passed on in your history, in the past few years, or even since the last Memorial Day?

Memorial Day is not only a time to remember deaths, but more importantly a time for us to remember the lives and contributions of those that have served, sacrificed, or meaningfully touched our lives and passed on.

If you truly valued the life of someone now departed, stop right now, write down their names, say a prayer for them, and REMEMBER them befittingly. What lessons can be savored, internalized, and used as a guide to make us better humans, employees, friends, spouses, students, neighbors, citizens, parents, children, and stewards of this beautiful planet?

Take a lesson from Sharon Parker of ROASA, Remembering Our Ancestors Synergistic Association who pulled together a local community to repair a leaking roof on the home of an elderly couple’s home or Judith Clark of Women Who Care Ministries whose non-profit brings together young and old volunteers who stand out in the scorching hot sun or freezing snow to collect food to feed hungry children.  And, remember those who are not traditionally remembered.  Remember the Buffalo Soldiers and women who have served our country.

Wikipedia defines a memorial as, “an object which serves as a focus for memory of something, usually a person (who has died) or an event.”  The key words for me are “a focus for memory of something.”Let’s reflect on the old adage, “If we don’t learn from the past, we are condemned to repeat it!”   Let’s not forget the true meaning of the day.  Part 3: Honoring Respecting, and Valuing ALL Life

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

The Energy of an Oprah Possibility.

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I was just reflecting on the amount of energy and hope I got from a simple call from a producer putting together a pilot for the Oprah Winfrey show.  In sharing this possibility and asking for prayers, this simple possibility spread energy and excitement to my family and friends as well.  That got me to thinking.  I have no idea of the outcome, and yet in the present moment I was excited and energized.  Since the opportunity has not yet been manifested physically, then it is not the outcome only that produces the energy, but the hope of a possibility does the same thing.

Energy Has Attraction Power

That being the case, then we should dream hopeful dreams and set exciting  goals all the time.  Like Jessie Jackson always said, “Keep hope alive.” What are you hoping for and what are you doing to “keep hope alive.”  It is that hope and faith that generate energy.  When there is no hope, there is no energy.  When there is no energy, we lose the power of attraction.  When we are feel hopeless we may be pushing away the very people who could help us and attracting the company of those who are also in misery.   Both hope and fear are contagious.  At any given moment, we are either spreading joyful energy or sucking energy out of everyone we connect with, so we must be very careful of our power.

We live our lives one moment at a time and if we have the power to influence the current moment and make it joyful, exciting, and hopeful, then we should do it habitually.  I also believe strongly that it is the energy of anticipation that helps to attract things to us.  Whether it is anticipating the realization of an exciting goal or the fearful anticipation of a calamity or negative outcome, our focus (energy) draws whatever we are thinking about to us.  I guess that’s why the Bible teaches us:  “As a man thinketh, so is he.”

The Science of Creating Your Own Luck

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Are you lucky?  Is there a science to luck or is it a spiritual blessing or divine grace?   I am one of those right brain people whose pendulum swings way to the right when given a choice to rely on science or spirit. I tend to look first towards spirituality to explain or guide me with work, relationships, and setting goals.  I also look for the spiritual lesson when I encounter adversity.  So, looking for a scientific explanation of why things are is not my first line of defense.  But, I’m consistently learning that science compliments spirituality and explains things logically.  With spirituality, I don’t have to know why; I just know what is.  But, science explains the why and I am even more confirmed.  For example, I know from experience that prayer and meditation work.  Science attempts to explain why.    But, I’m learning that it is not an either/or choice.  Both are valuable and both play a role.

4 Steps to Create Your Own Luck

Many people would consider me lucky.  I am if the definition is: “Luck is where opportunity meets preparedness.”  Yes I am lucky but I feel that my attitude and faith create my luck.  Richard Wiseman studies luck and has actually come up with a prescription for how it’s done.  You’ll want to read his insightful article, Be Lucky- it’s an easy skill to learn. He writes,  “My research revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four basic principles.They are:

  1. Skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities,
  2. Make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition,
  3. Create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and
  4. Adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.”

After graduating from his luck school, 80% of his students were luckier.  Scientific or spiritual luck?  Perhaps you don’t have to choose and can have both!  I’m  going to make sure I apply the principles above and for luck, I’m going to continue to pray.  There you have it.  Feeling luckier?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.