Tag Archives: postaday2011

We Don’t Want Any Wedding Gifts

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Last night I had dinner with two of my sisters, my niece and her fiance.  Both my niece and her fiance are lawyers that have graduated from Georgetown.  They are both such unique young people, so much so that I awoke this morning and had to take some time to reflect on my thoughts especially their request to not give them any wedding gifts, but to instead give the money to charity.  And, they are not wealthy.  They are just starting out, have very few material trappings, and their share of college loans to repay and yet their thoughts are not on themselves but on the less fortunate.  In a sea of materialism,  and “me” mentality, they did NOT want gifts.  They wanted a simple ceremony so that their friends and family from around the world could share in their union.  And if it weren’t for respecting families and traditions, they wouldn’t have done a big wedding at all.  If the future has more young folks like them, then we have a bright future ahead of us indeed.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Memorial Day: Honoring, Respecting, and Valuing ALL Life

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How can we befittingly pay tribute to those we wish to memorialize?

I think we best honor the dead when we truly appreciate, respect, and value ALL LIFE!  Perhaps we can all agree on the universal benefit of focusing on the value of all human life, whether it is a fetus or elderly, able or disabled, black or white, rich or poor, homeless or decadently housed, on foreign or American soil, whether Christian or Moslem, Buddhist or Bahá’í, gay or straight, male or female, employed or unemployed, sick or healthy, or famous or ordinary.   Diverse people remember, honor, and celebrate the dead in different ways.  Some somberly mourn their losses in rituals and visits to cemeteries, while others celebrate the life of the deceased by focusing on and valuing and appreciating the lives of the deceased.   What can you learn from the lives of those who are now on the other side of the sod?  What do you choose to remember?

Memorial Day offers an opportunity and  occasion to:

1. Stop and reflect on the value of every human life.

2. Examine the roles we individually and collectively play to make a difference during our own brief sojourn here.

3. Remember what is worth remembering about those who have passed on.

The ones we memorialize may be military, ancestors, friends, family members, religious figures, or someone totally unrelated, but whose lives and deaths have contributed positively to our understanding, opportunities, and freedoms.   It is an opportunity to learn from the past so that our lives will be more meaningful.

A lot of lives have been silenced in our history because of their diversity or beliefs and in the recent earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and wars. The suffering and pain continue long after the media has turned its attention to the next disaster or sensation.  Let’s not forget them.  What can you do to ease the suffering, change a life, and raise the esteem of the hopeless?  Remember, it is better to light one candle than to continually curse the darkness.  This memorial day, who will you light a candle for?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Memorial Day: Befittingly Remembering

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 Who has passed on in your history, in the past few years, or even since the last Memorial Day?

Memorial Day is not only a time to remember deaths, but more importantly a time for us to remember the lives and contributions of those that have served, sacrificed, or meaningfully touched our lives and passed on.

If you truly valued the life of someone now departed, stop right now, write down their names, say a prayer for them, and REMEMBER them befittingly. What lessons can be savored, internalized, and used as a guide to make us better humans, employees, friends, spouses, students, neighbors, citizens, parents, children, and stewards of this beautiful planet?

Take a lesson from Sharon Parker of ROASA, Remembering Our Ancestors Synergistic Association who pulled together a local community to repair a leaking roof on the home of an elderly couple’s home or Judith Clark of Women Who Care Ministries whose non-profit brings together young and old volunteers who stand out in the scorching hot sun or freezing snow to collect food to feed hungry children.  And, remember those who are not traditionally remembered.  Remember the Buffalo Soldiers and women who have served our country.

Wikipedia defines a memorial as, “an object which serves as a focus for memory of something, usually a person (who has died) or an event.”  The key words for me are “a focus for memory of something.”Let’s reflect on the old adage, “If we don’t learn from the past, we are condemned to repeat it!”   Let’s not forget the true meaning of the day.  Part 3: Honoring Respecting, and Valuing ALL Life

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

The Importance of Making Customers Feel Valued

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Recently I had the need to go to one of my banks that holds my business account.  I had made an error and needed the bank to assist me with correcting it.  I went to one branch that happened to be close to another bank that I had some personal transactions with.  Immediately upon entering the bank, I made note of how they were responding to the diversity of their clients.  Several of the tellers and the displays were all in Spanish and they even had Spanish newspapers displayed.  Several of the ads on the wall were also in Spanish.  As a diversity instructor, I was impressed.   This home town bank which my husband and I had accounts with for almost thirty years had changed.  I put my name on the list to see a banking representative.   It took almost thirty minutes before someone came to see me.

What Would You Expect of a  Relationship Manager?

Several times I glanced at the two chairs (doctor’s office style) sitting inconspicuously in the corner next to the entry way.  I noticed how each representative worked in an open space desk environment.  I could overhear most of what others preceding me were discussing, including phone numbers etc.  “He will be guaranteeing the loan,” an Asian lady said of the older gentleman who sat next to her barely speaking.  “$11,000.”  I was distracted by another representative informing his customer that any charge would send a donation to their charity.  “The March of Dimes,” said the lady.    Finally, a professional young lady came to greet me and took me to her desk.  I explained my situation, and she listened attentively, but then commented that it was not their error so she could not help.  She did agree to speak to her manager who also agreed that they could not be of any help to me.  Her title was relationship manager.  I retorted, “This is what you call a relationship?”  “I’ll make that deposit for you,” she said.  “Never mind,”  I said disappointingly, and walked out.  I contemplated closing my account right then, but with a merchant account tied to it and my government CCR, it would take some effort.

The Customer is the reason you have a job

Since this bank brands its self as being, “our home town bank,” I decided to go to the one nearest my home.  I walked in and stood at the counter as I’d done before.  The difference was that someone immediately left from behind a counter and came to my assistance.  I glanced at the chairs behind me which were carefully and tastefully upholstered.  A very friendly young lady took me into a closed office and asked how she could help me.  I explained my situation and without hesitation,  she helped me.  I made my deposit and upon exiting, explained to her that her service saved my account with them.  I’d made up in my mind before entering the bank that depending on the service or lack of it that I got, would determine if I stayed with the bank.  She gave me her card, thanked me for being a customer, and commented that if I needed anything to just call her.  I left feeling like a valued customer.  Whatever business you are in, remember, the “customer is the REASON you are in business.  So, do what you must to make them feel valued if you want to keep them.

The Energy of an Oprah Possibility.

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I was just reflecting on the amount of energy and hope I got from a simple call from a producer putting together a pilot for the Oprah Winfrey show.  In sharing this possibility and asking for prayers, this simple possibility spread energy and excitement to my family and friends as well.  That got me to thinking.  I have no idea of the outcome, and yet in the present moment I was excited and energized.  Since the opportunity has not yet been manifested physically, then it is not the outcome only that produces the energy, but the hope of a possibility does the same thing.

Energy Has Attraction Power

That being the case, then we should dream hopeful dreams and set exciting  goals all the time.  Like Jessie Jackson always said, “Keep hope alive.” What are you hoping for and what are you doing to “keep hope alive.”  It is that hope and faith that generate energy.  When there is no hope, there is no energy.  When there is no energy, we lose the power of attraction.  When we are feel hopeless we may be pushing away the very people who could help us and attracting the company of those who are also in misery.   Both hope and fear are contagious.  At any given moment, we are either spreading joyful energy or sucking energy out of everyone we connect with, so we must be very careful of our power.

We live our lives one moment at a time and if we have the power to influence the current moment and make it joyful, exciting, and hopeful, then we should do it habitually.  I also believe strongly that it is the energy of anticipation that helps to attract things to us.  Whether it is anticipating the realization of an exciting goal or the fearful anticipation of a calamity or negative outcome, our focus (energy) draws whatever we are thinking about to us.  I guess that’s why the Bible teaches us:  “As a man thinketh, so is he.”