Tag Archives: Self Esteem

My Success Formula (pt 5b)- Expectations and Emotions

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(From 5a: Expectations)

I believe that fear is the most powerful negative motivator and faith is the most powerful positive motivator.   Some might say love and hate because faith is rooted in love and hate is rooted in fear.  We do what we do to move towards that which we love and away from that which we hate or fear.   I assert that most of our actions are faith-based or fear-based.    While you could potentially have the same outcome, acting out of fear is more stressful and a lot less enjoyable.  For example, you might stay in school because you fear joblessness and poverty, but it would be far better experience to stay in school because you love learning.

Emotions Can Motivate or Manipulate

The media does that to us all the time.   They use fear tactics to get us to act in a certain way.  But, while fear can motivate us to act, it can also paralyze us.  How many times have you neglected to go after a dream because you convinced yourself that you would fail.  You allowed your own fear or someone else’s opinion to stop you from pursuing your dreams.

Faith Is A Greater Motivator

Faith is a far greater motivator, can “move mountains,” and can give the advantage to the underdog.  When we get hyped up we release powerful endorphins that can give us an emotional boost. When you pursue a goal that you care about with faith, you create radiant energy and excitement.   Emotions matter; what we feel, we give energy to!  Until we actually feel it, some say we will not see it.  When we expect something, we anticipate that something will happen beforehand.   To anticipate means to think, speak, act, or feel an emotional response in advance.  ‘In Advance‘ are the key words, which mean we must begin thinking, speaking, acting, and feeling before we manifest our dreams. If we really believe and expect success, we must do what we must to feel it!  That is why sales people spend millions of dollars advertising their products, they want you to feel what the actors are feeling.  They know that when we associate their products to a feeling, we’ll buy it.  And, so it is with our own goals and dreams.   If we don’t feel it, it isn’t yet real to us and our success is not certain.  Continue to 5c: More on Expectations and Emotions

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula- Thoughts (continued)

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What’s In Your Subconscious Program?

(Part 1 of Thoughts) Are you open to new ideas, thoughts, or perspectives?  Or, are you closed-minded? Your answer probably has a lot to do with your programming.   We have thought, accepted, and believed much of our early programming because that’s how the early programming mechanism works.  Children learn how to walk, talk, socialize, etc. in just a few short years.  Adults take years to learn a new language, a toddler learns it and more. It works this way because there is a lot to learn in a short period of time.  And, this would be great, if all the adults in our lives, our society, and the world had it together.  Unfortunately many people are negative.  Bruce Lipton states that 70% of our thoughts are negative.  Think back to the year you were born.  What was society like those first six years?  What influenced your parents and their thoughts back then.  What programming was likely downloaded into your infant brain?  If you want to know what you’ve been thinking consciously and subconsciously, examine your current reality.  What is manifesting?  What do you see around you?  What are you feeling?  What is your reality?

Understanding the Subconscious Mind

The subconscious is the seat of our information.  It stores everything that we  have thought, learned, taught, seen or heard.  It is powerful beyond measure and is neutral.  It outputs only what has been input from the environment.  There is no good or evil with it, there is just information.  I remembered about twenty years ago learning about the power of the subconscious mind.  I learned to do affirmations as a way of re-programming my subconscious mind. I believe that it was that programming that created the positive mindset I have today.  I remember as a child challenging the negative programming that I was receiving about my self-worth.  Race, gender, and my socio-economic condition placed me in a lot of self-limiting boxes.   When I would hear something devaluing, I would tell myself, “That isn’t true; I’m going to be somebody.”  I wish I had said, “I am somebody right now.”  That way I wouldn’t have had to waste years chasing that elusive day when I had worth.  Fortunately a spiritual transformation occurred in my life when I learned that I was “created noble.”  After that I tried to make that thought become a reality.  We have the power to re-program, but it is a conscious effort.  We can’t operate on auto-pilot and expect to change our programming. We are a result of our nurturing, environment, opportunities, and nature and we have the power to change these right now by our choices and our thoughts.  Part 5a of Formula: Expectations

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 3) Belief continued

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Take That First Step and Last Step in Faith

Part 1 of Belief

So once you’re clear on the outcome, and you’ve sought out the initial knowledge you need,  your belief is more important than ever.  As Dr. Martin Luther King said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just the first step.” Faith inspires you to take that first step and know that the second step will be there when you get there.   Belief determines whether a dream remains a dream or will become reality.

Many people talk about grandiose goals and dreams.   Some even visualize what they want and seek knowledge about what it would take to achieve their goals.  Many stop there when that is precisely the time to rely on their faith to move them to the next level.

You Can If You Think You Can!

Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams by convincing you that  it’s too risky. And, be very, very careful about what you believe or who you believe.  Why should someone’s opinion of your possibilities supersede your faith in yourself? Why would you consciously give someone that much power over your destiny?  Your vision is a sneak preview into your reality.  If you can see it is real.  But, only your belief will move you towards that which you see in your visions.   If you believe you will succeed, you will.  Your mind is the most powerful tool in the universe.  It is your faith that coaxes a wish or desire from the realm of thought into the realm of reality. (Continue to Part 4 of Success Formula: THOUGHTS)

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt3)- Belief

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Continued from Part 2: Knowledge

You’ve heard it before. “If you believe you can’t, you can’t; if you believe you can, you can!”  I don’t know which of the elements in my success formula is the most important, but I know belief or faith ranks way up there.  Think about it, someone could accidentally achieve an outcome that fulfills them that they didn’t plan for in the beginning.   Sometimes you have to just get started and have faith that certitude and clarity will come to you in time. When I started my career, I was working in technology.  I didn’t plan in the beginning to be a motivator, writer, speaker or poet. But, here I am.  You may not even have all the knowledge you need, because you learn as you go.

B=Belief Is Essential.

Faith is the fuel that gets us going and keeps us moving towards our goals.  Without faith, we don’t try.  Rarely do you see people giving their all to a pursuit that they do not believe in.  Belief is the glue that holds the whole dream together until it is firmly manifested as reality.  Every part of my success formula is affected by belief.  The thoughts, words, and actions of a person who believes in their dreams is very different from someone who doubts, disbelieves, or who fears.  (Belief (2) continued)

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Are You On Track, On Fire, On Purpose?

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(Click here to listen to this message instead.)

The first month of 2011 is gone.  I’m sure you approached the new year with hope and expectancy of having a better 2011.  How are you doing?  Are You Alright? I mean while you are working feverishly to achieve your goals and taking care of business, were  you also taking care of yourself too?  To be alright, you must make it a point to take care of not only your physical needs, but your emotional and spiritual needs too.

My Deep Funk

Most people never picture me as being down.  With my positive nature and high energy most think that I am always up, so in the interest of authenticity, I am sharing a period that I can only describe as a “deep funk.”  I don’t know if it was the seven funerals in four months, including two uncles in two weeks and a nephew before Thanksgiving, economic challenges, the cruelty and betrayal of a long time friend, or the host of other emotional strains, but they all collectively took their toll on me.  When you are forced to look at the finality of this life, to watch loved ones go, to face constant struggles without a break, sometimes it can cause even the strong to buckle under the pressure.  I had to deal with all this while dealing with a constantly and disturbingly changing business and financial landscape.  I was so busy taking care of everyone else that I wasn’t taking care of my own emotional needs.  But, as I’ve said before, “The tree most pruned bears the best fruit.” Sure, I had worthy goals but an emotional or physical setback can make you almost impotent to do anything and throw you off-track.  How I Got Back on Track?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.