Choosing to be nicer not only makes us attractive to others, but it also makes us more productive, healthier, and stronger. Experts like Losada, Emoto, and Hawkins advocate the importance of being in the positive or nice zone. At work, Losada teaches that we need at least 3 (actually 2.97) positive interactions to one negative interaction to be productive. Masuru Emoto, in ‘Hidden Messages in Water’ proves in his research that our cellular structures are actually changed by the words we use and the thoughts we think. And finally David Hawkins in ‘Power versus Force’ teaches that there is a different energy frequency associated with our words and emotions. The “nicer” words and qualities give us power, while the nastier qualities make us weaker. It could even save your marriage! Gottman’s research discovered that couples who had a ratio of five or more positive interactions to one negative interaction stayed together after his 10-year research while other marriages were in trouble.
You can change your life by changing your words, nice matters. We can all improve; to get started carry around a notebook the next few days and take note of how kind your words are. Are they forgiving or intolerant? Are they judgmental or complimentary? Do they uplift or dishearten? Do they encourage or dampen the other person’s spirit? In short, do your words soothe and inspire the soul of the person hearing them? Also notice the reactions to your words. Are they smiling or frowning? Are they happy or sad? In closing, we’ll get more of our needs met by being nice and we’ll also like that person in the mirror a whole lot more. With so many things that are out of our control, isn’t it heartwarming to know that some things still are?
I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires. To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit my website.
Thanks for being an agent for positive change. You make a world of difference.
As do you Clif.
Barbara — fantastic post! Thank you so much!