Category Archives: Leadership and Change

Dream Derailer #5- Succumbing to Negativity

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My dad used to always say, “Smile and the world will smile with you.”  A surefire way of getting off track with your dreams is to succumb to the negative people, beliefs, attitudes, and perspectives of those you come in contact with.  When we allow the negativity to take hold, we relinquish our power.

How do you see the world?

Remember the computer acronym, WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get).  Meaning, what you choose to see greatly influences your outcome.  Your power is in your perception and perspective.  If you believe you will succeed, you will!  If you see the glass as half full, it’s half full.  If you see it as half empty, that version can also become your reality.  The point is that you have free will and how you choose to see a situation paints your reality.  If you see the world as an unjust, hateful, unforgiving, and cruel place, that  will be your reality.  If you see the universe as abundant, beautiful, and loving, that perspective will color your world.  It is what you decide it is.

Negativity Comes in Many Forms

Negativity comes in all forms and all of them are dangerous.  Whether it is your thoughts, the people you choose to be in your inner circle, what you read, listen to, or watch, or just the physical environments around you, it all affects you.  There are inspiring people, uplifting thoughts, and nurturing environments just as there are negative thoughts, toxic people, and discouraging environments.  The point is, in order to stay on track and keep moving towards your dreams (in spite of all the obstacles), you’ve got to have the right attitude.  Our attitudes and outcomes are affected by the people we hang around with and the environments we choose to be influenced by, so choose them carefully.  We know how hard it is on us when others give up on us, so above all, don’t give up on yourself.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #4: Inability to Stay Focused

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Okay, so one day you’re working on an important goal and the next thing you know you’re sidetracked and off to something else.   Nothing can derail your dreams faster than distractions.  Staying on track requires a conscious effort. Just because you have a dream and believe in it doesn’t mean that the things of the world will not distract you.  It doesn’t even matter how much you love or desire an outcome.  You’ve got to focus to hit your target.  And, if that target isn’t clear or keeps changing, how do you expect to hit it?  Choose, decide, commit, and stay focused. You’ve got to be willing to let some things go.  You may be able to do anything, but you still can’t do everything.  In ‘ Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha’, he states, “So long as the thoughts of an individual are  scattered he will achieve no results, but if his thinking be concentrated on a single point wonderful will be the fruits thereof.”

Identify Your Distractions and Do Something About Them.

Everyone isn’t distracted by the same things, but everyone is distracted by something.  You’ve got to decide who distracts, what distracts you, when you are distracted, and why you are distracted.  After that, figure out a plan to do something about it. If I know who distracts me, I can limit my time with that person when I need to accomplish something.  If it’s a specific time that I’m distracted, it might be wise to work on my important projects at a different time.   It also wouldn’t hurt to think about why you get so easily distracted either.  Perhaps your goal isn’t fulfilling enough or maybe it isn’t your goal.   Paul Graham calls the television and the internet, “visual crack,” since it is such an addictive distraction and suggests we turn it off or severely limit it.  Arjun Kulchani suggests choosing exciting work and using meditation as a tool for better concentration.   Cave Cheong offers a strategy he calls ‘time boxing‘ among other tips. Leo Babauta thinks we should schedule some ‘distraction time’.  Think about the strategies I’ve offered here and also check these wonderful sources below to pick out some ideas that work for you.

  1. 10 Ways to Eliminate Distractions by Leo Babauta
  2. 18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work by Dave Cheong
  3. 11 Ways of Staying Focused by Dave Cheong
  4. Disconnecting Distraction by Paul Graham
  5. How to Stay Focused by Arjun Kulkani

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Dream Derailer #2b: Ignoring the Body’s Real Needs

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If we don’t drink water, we die.

Have you ever  said, “Thank You,” to your water?   Masuru Emoto in his books on the ‘Hidden Messages in Water’ teaches that water is alive, has memory, and consciousness.   His research shows that just having an intention infused into the water changes it cellular pattern which he has captured in pictures.  If water is so significant to life, doesn’t it make logical sense that the quality of the water would be significant too?

Gabrielle Cousens also affirms the significance of consuming good quality water in his discussion of water as a carrier of historical information.  He explains that “structured water” can have up to a million cellular layers.  He states that not all water is good and that good quality waters energizes its host but bad water can cause its demise.   F. Batmanghelidj in his book, ‘You’re Not Sick, You’re Thirsty’, states, “The human body is a composite structure made of many different systems. All these systems are dependent on the various properties of water for their normal function.  When there is not enough water in the body for all the functions to take place, something has to give.”

Don’t Become Slaves to Pain and Pills

Conscious eating, drinking, and breathing are just as important as consciously pursuing career, educational, financial, security, and relationship goals.  You can’t continually put your health on hold without serious consequences.  And, wouldn’t logical, responsible, or health seeking people want to take care of the systems that take care of them?   Two days ago I attended an event where a national journalist in her early thirties shared how she had climbed the ladder of success, finally realized her dream, and had a heart attack.  She was young, beautiful, talented, and successful and yet according to the paramedics on the scene, she was just ten minutes away from losing it all!  Too many people are becoming lifetime slaves to pills and pain because of health conditions brought on by their own neglect.  What good is it to gain all the resources one needs to live on top of the mountain contentedly and not have the energy to climb up and enjoy the view?    If you are to manifest your dreams, you have to be here to do it.  You have to be alive.  You have to have energy.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 5d)- Expectations and Emotional Congruency

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(From 5c: Emotions and Expectations)

When Our Emotions and Expectations Are Congruent, We Excel!

Do you expect success?  Do you feel successful?  You attract what you feel.  Are your thoughts affirming of your success?  Are your conversations focused on your successful outcome, devoid of fear and instead confident of the outcome?  Are your actions congruent with your dreams, thoughts, and words?  If not, you can sabotage your results.  And while most people can understand the rationale for making sure that their thoughts, words, and actions are congruent, they rarely think about or understand the importance of emotional congruence.   Expectations have an emotional component.  A quick Google search of emotions and success revealed over 17 millions results!

You Can’t Fake It.

You might fool others, but you can’t fool yourself.  Emotions are our internal honesty meter.  When we’re moving closer to our dreams we are happier; when moving away from them, we’re sadder.  We know the difference between excitement and fear, between expectation and dread, and between confidence and doubt.  Emotions are our guides to living authentically.  Don’t ignore your feelings for they provide you important feedback about your current state.  That’s why some say, “If it feels right and moral, keep doing it.”  If doesn’t feel right, pause, reflect, investigate and be in a constant mood of learning and flexibility.  We should be like our GPS systems that say, “Recalculating,” whenever we’ve missed a turn and not berate ourselves when we get off track.

Our Emotions and Expectations Should Match

Emotions emit a certain frequency and have the power of attraction. Our emotions should match our beliefs and expectations.  You could think, speak, and act in a certain way, and not feel it and this would be hypocrisy.  Our feelings are the only part of the formula that must be real.  You can’t fake excitement.  You either are or you aren’t.  You can’t fake anticipation; either you are expecting something to happen or you aren’t!  In fact, our feelings are in many cases the real drivers in our journey towards success.  They can get us there quickly or cause us to get lost.   Our feelings influence our thoughts, words, and deeds.  If we feel good, feel confident, feel invincible, or feel certain, our thoughts, words, and actions are one way.  However, if we feel doubtful, weak, or fearful, we are very likely thinking very different kinds of  thoughts. (Continue to Part 6 of My Success Formula: ACTION!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 5c)- More on Expectations and Emotions

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If You Think You Can, You Can!

(From 5b: Expectations and Emotions)

To sum it all up, if you expect good things to happen  with all your heart, in most cases they will.  The key word here is heart.  The heart holds the power of attraction.  This is also true of less desirable outcomes.  What you feel, you attract.  So, are you feeling optimistic or pessimistic about your dreams, goals, and future?

Expectations+ Emotions Have Creative Power

Whatever you are feeling, you are creating.  Our feelings move us beyond lip service. So we’ve got to think about and feel about only those things we want to attract into our lives.  When you truly love someone or something, you can’t help but think about, talk about, and feel exhilarated by that person or thing.  This energy moves you to action.  It is the same principle when pursuing our dreams.  It’s not enough to just want success.  We must also think, speak, act, and feel our way to our goal.  That is when we begin to realize the power of expectations. When our expectations and emotions are congruent we excel.  You can’t expect something wonderful and hate or resent it at the same time.  You can’t fear something awful and want or love it.

Pygmalion and Galatea Effects

I just read an article about the power of expectations at work,’The Pygmalion and Galatea Effects.  In this About.com article, Susan Heathfield writes, “Your expectations of people and their expectations of themselves are the key factors in how well people perform at work. Known as the Pygmalion effect and the Galatea effect, respectively, the power of expectations cannot be overestimated.” I submit, that your expectation is the key factors in achieving any goal you pursue whether professional or personal.   In another article on the Galatea effect, the author writes, “One of life’s greatest gifts you can give someone is to believe in them. Think about someone who believes in you? Don’t you work harder to live up to those expectations? Sure you do. It’s human nature.” Another fact of human nature is that you get back magnified what you send out.  So, give someone a priceless gift by letting them know how much you believe in them.  Continue to 5c: Expectations and Emotional Congruence.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.