Category Archives: Relationships and Family

Courtesy Inside and Outside of the Cubicle

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“What’s that smell?”  “I can’t hear myself think!” “Can you turn that down?”  “Did someone take my red stapler?”  “My lunch is missing?”  “What’s that green stuff in the refrigerator?”   “Oh My! Please put your shoes back on!”

There are some things that just can’t be ignored when we are in close quarters if we want a productive and harmonious work environment. Unfortunately most people don’t have the luxury of a private office and of having all their co-coworkers be considerate.  Whether its’ out of ignorance, social style, or culture, some actions bring productivity to a grinding halt.

What can we do?

How do you tell someone that their food, breath, or body has an offensive odor, or that their music or conversations are too loud, distasteful, or distracting without causing more contention and hurt feelings?  I’ve heard stories where people have had others take their lunch out of the refrigerator and eat it, stood over them while they were having a personal conversation, and spoke to them in an unprofessional manner.  Some leave a mess in common areas and make it unsanitary and uncomfortable to eat or meet there.

Do You Have A Cubicle or Workplace Story to Share?

Have you ever had to work closely with others and found it to be a challenge?  I’m working on a course dealing with cubicle courtesy and would like to hear some of your cubicle stories and how you solved them if you did.  Meanwhile enjoy the resources I’ve pulled together for you below.

  1. Rules for Cubicle Courtesy– Career Builders- (10Tips_
  2. Workplace Etiquette (Sound, Scent, and Sight) – (10 Tips)
  3. Cubicle Courtesy– By Chelsea Benham- (21 Tips)
  4. Workplace Ethics-Common Sense and Courtesy Aren’t So Common– Brian Carr (8 Tips)
  5. Take This Quiz:  Do You Know Workplace Courtesy? – Job Journal Archive
  6. Courtesy in the Workplace–  (25 tips)
  7. Office Manners– (over 40 tips)
  8. Seven Workplace  Etiquette Tips to Build Teams– Rachel Wagner
  9. Showing Respect at Work (3 Basic Tips)
  10. Taming Workplace Incivility – Multiple Tips

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Race and Hair: Do You Wear Your Hair Natural?

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Appreciating Our Natural Hair

I am so happy to soon be witnessing a beautiful example of unity in diversity as demonstrated in my niece’s upcoming nuptials.   I was heartened by the unique respect for diversity that she and her fiance both live and breathe.  He is Indian and Hindu; she is Christian and African-American.  Yes, this is the same couple that is donating their wedding gifts to charity.  So it’s not their diversity alone that make them special, but their character.  I sat in awe at a recent dinner as my niece’s fiance expressed his knowledge of the plight of African American’s in history, his love for the natural texture of my niece’s hair, and his love and respect for both my niece and sister.

He was the one she explained that encouraged her to “go back natural.” She commented that while “going natural” that she had more challenges with people from within our own culture than from the outside.

What Does Hair Mean to You?

Last month I spoke to an audience in Florida at an event organized by 100 Concerned Black Women and the topic of hair came up.  My co-presenter Iris Cooper had cut off her hair and a lady in the audience who self reportedly had worn wigs most of her life challenged why she did it.  The next day the older lady came to a followup session dawning her own hair.  She recounted how freeing it was.  She somehow had felt she needed validation, permission, and acceptance to free herself.  She explained how all her life she was called ugly because of her short hair.  And, now there is another trend, cutting off our hair that we’ve taken so long to grow and  letting go of what “long hair” means.  How do you feel about cutting your hair off?   It appears that we’ve still got a lot of work to do before we get to the point that we realize that we don’t all have to look the same and can see our own naturalness as beautiful.  What does your hair mean to you? Does it represent beauty, culture, image, or identity.  Is it your crown or crowning glory?  Please comment and share “your hair story.”

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

The Importance of Making Customers Feel Valued

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Recently I had the need to go to one of my banks that holds my business account.  I had made an error and needed the bank to assist me with correcting it.  I went to one branch that happened to be close to another bank that I had some personal transactions with.  Immediately upon entering the bank, I made note of how they were responding to the diversity of their clients.  Several of the tellers and the displays were all in Spanish and they even had Spanish newspapers displayed.  Several of the ads on the wall were also in Spanish.  As a diversity instructor, I was impressed.   This home town bank which my husband and I had accounts with for almost thirty years had changed.  I put my name on the list to see a banking representative.   It took almost thirty minutes before someone came to see me.

What Would You Expect of a  Relationship Manager?

Several times I glanced at the two chairs (doctor’s office style) sitting inconspicuously in the corner next to the entry way.  I noticed how each representative worked in an open space desk environment.  I could overhear most of what others preceding me were discussing, including phone numbers etc.  “He will be guaranteeing the loan,” an Asian lady said of the older gentleman who sat next to her barely speaking.  “$11,000.”  I was distracted by another representative informing his customer that any charge would send a donation to their charity.  “The March of Dimes,” said the lady.    Finally, a professional young lady came to greet me and took me to her desk.  I explained my situation, and she listened attentively, but then commented that it was not their error so she could not help.  She did agree to speak to her manager who also agreed that they could not be of any help to me.  Her title was relationship manager.  I retorted, “This is what you call a relationship?”  “I’ll make that deposit for you,” she said.  “Never mind,”  I said disappointingly, and walked out.  I contemplated closing my account right then, but with a merchant account tied to it and my government CCR, it would take some effort.

The Customer is the reason you have a job

Since this bank brands its self as being, “our home town bank,” I decided to go to the one nearest my home.  I walked in and stood at the counter as I’d done before.  The difference was that someone immediately left from behind a counter and came to my assistance.  I glanced at the chairs behind me which were carefully and tastefully upholstered.  A very friendly young lady took me into a closed office and asked how she could help me.  I explained my situation and without hesitation,  she helped me.  I made my deposit and upon exiting, explained to her that her service saved my account with them.  I’d made up in my mind before entering the bank that depending on the service or lack of it that I got, would determine if I stayed with the bank.  She gave me her card, thanked me for being a customer, and commented that if I needed anything to just call her.  I left feeling like a valued customer.  Whatever business you are in, remember, the “customer is the REASON you are in business.  So, do what you must to make them feel valued if you want to keep them.

Dream Derailer #5- Succumbing to Negativity

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My dad used to always say, “Smile and the world will smile with you.”  A surefire way of getting off track with your dreams is to succumb to the negative people, beliefs, attitudes, and perspectives of those you come in contact with.  When we allow the negativity to take hold, we relinquish our power.

How do you see the world?

Remember the computer acronym, WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get).  Meaning, what you choose to see greatly influences your outcome.  Your power is in your perception and perspective.  If you believe you will succeed, you will!  If you see the glass as half full, it’s half full.  If you see it as half empty, that version can also become your reality.  The point is that you have free will and how you choose to see a situation paints your reality.  If you see the world as an unjust, hateful, unforgiving, and cruel place, that  will be your reality.  If you see the universe as abundant, beautiful, and loving, that perspective will color your world.  It is what you decide it is.

Negativity Comes in Many Forms

Negativity comes in all forms and all of them are dangerous.  Whether it is your thoughts, the people you choose to be in your inner circle, what you read, listen to, or watch, or just the physical environments around you, it all affects you.  There are inspiring people, uplifting thoughts, and nurturing environments just as there are negative thoughts, toxic people, and discouraging environments.  The point is, in order to stay on track and keep moving towards your dreams (in spite of all the obstacles), you’ve got to have the right attitude.  Our attitudes and outcomes are affected by the people we hang around with and the environments we choose to be influenced by, so choose them carefully.  We know how hard it is on us when others give up on us, so above all, don’t give up on yourself.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

My Success Formula (pt 6) Action

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(Continued from part 5: Expectations)

You’ve got it all: the vision, knowledge, belief in yourself, positive thoughts, and you’re ready to act.  So, you get ready, get set, get set, get set…

Why is it so hard sometime to just get going?  Why do you find yourself coming up with new excuses? Why are you second-guessing yourself?  You’re thinking maybe you are not smart enough, don’t have enough money, or don’t feel you deserve to succeed.  If this is the case, you must first work on yourself and the best way is to get going, face your fear, and prove to yourself that you have what it takes.

If You Dream a Dream It’s Possible

Creating a vision is an action.  It starts the process, but you can’t stop there otherwise it’s just wishful thinking.  We live in a creative universe and that’s what we were designed to do. It’s in our DNA to Dream, Note that dream, and Act on it.  I firmly believe that we would not have a vision or inspiring dream unless it were possible for us to achieve it.  The reason is we are all different, have different talents, and want different things.  So if you are dragging your feet, Stop!  Take the first step.  Do something, even a little something everyday.  If you don’t act, all the work you’ve done so far is for naught.  Nobody can read the book unpublished, watch the play without an ending, or enjoy the song unfinished.

But, What If Something Is Still Missing?

But let’s assume that you have achieved all of the elements in our success formula, that you have visualized the outcome, that you have the knowledge you need to start, and that you are motivated by the right thoughts and expectations.  Now what?  Check out the one thing that can derail any dream or plan in my series on Dream Derailers .  It is so critical that if you don’t take it into consideration, failure is assured.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.