My Success Formula

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Success is consistently manifesting the outcomes we choose.  I have had many successes in my life, a marriage for several decades, six smart wonderful children, six books, certitude in spirituality, and the bounty of finding and developing my unique talents:  motivating others through speaking, writing, and poetry.  I have been blessed to live on purpose!  Yes, I’ve had challenges too, but I know that what we focus on magnifies in our lives, so I choose to focus on what I’d like to see more of instead.  A powerful liberating thought I learned years ago was that life is choice!  We have the power to choose the life we want to live.  We just have to be willing to create it.

People routinely ask me, “Barbara, how do you do it?”   One of my success formulas is: (O=K+B+T+E+A).

I believe …

You fill in the blank.   Everything that I’ve ever accomplished started with a desire and belief that I could do it. What do you believe about your potential, possibilities, and probabilities?   Why does it matter what we believe?  Well, our beliefs are the foundation and driving force of our lives.  Our core beliefs influence everything especially our thoughts.  Our thoughts formulate our goals and expectations.  Our expectations determine what we actually do.  And finally, our actions create or contribute to our outcomes.  Of course there are some things that are not under our control, but many are.  There is a cause and effect whether we cognizant of it or not. In the next few posts I’ll discuss each element in my formula and its connection to our successes, results, or outcomes.  Part 2 of Success Formula

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Facing Change With Faith

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With all the fear in the air, it’s easy to get paralyzed, confused, and apathetic.  But, for leaders and winners, change implies, taking charge.  And, those that take charge are noticed and rewarded! We have a choice; we can be swept up by change or we can learn to face it, embrace it, and manage it.  We must be firm, yet flexible at the same time.  Spencer Johnson’s #1 bestseller, ‘Who Moved My Cheese’ tackles this subject with humor and insight.  If you haven’t read it already, you’ll want to read it. It inspires great thought and offers a wonderful perspective on how to deal with change.  In it he uses four characters, Sniff and Scurry and Hem and Haw to represent the search for cheese in the maze of life.

What’s Your Cheese?

The Cheese in the story is symbolic of whatever we spend our lives searching for to make us happy.  The maze represents the search for our own particular cheese and the twists and turns in life we encounter defining our cheese, locating our cheese, enjoying our cheese, protecting our cheese, and preparing for when our cheese is moved.  The characters Sniff and Scurry are represented as mice. Their lives are simple and uncomplicated. They search and find cheese using a trial and error method. They have a routine that works.  They arise early, race to work, do what they need to do and enjoy the cheese they find. They always stay prepared, alert, and ready to make changes when they are necessary without over analyzing the situation.  When the cheese moves, they move.

Stop Hemming and Haw-ing

Hem and Haw are Little People.  Their lives are a bit more complicated.  They wind up at the same place as the mice and enjoy the cheese for many years.  They get complacent however and don’t plan for change.  They don’t stay prepared.  They don’t remain alert, and they have no contingency plans.  They expect that the cheese they have found will always be there.  They also expect that if it moves, they are entitled to be compensated.  Even when it becomes obvious that the cheese is no longer there, they ignore blatant facts.  All four characters however, each based on their vision, values, and virtues search for their own kind of cheese, define what cheese means to them, and handle change in their own way.

So,  what are you searching for in life?  What does that goal you’ve defined really mean to you?  Changes will happen, if they haven’t already, stay tuned.  If they have already happened and are making your goal more elusive, what are you doing about it?  Are you hemming and haw-ing?  Or are you facing change with faith and realizing that it’s time to sniff out a new plan, stop procrastinating, and scurry and find your happiness.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Let’s Talk Race!

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The Onion Network did a spoof on race on their satirical internet news show.  A pretty young 16-year old white girl stabs her classmate to death with a screwdriver.  The judge declares that she is to be tried as an adult 300 pound black man.  Her mother replies, “We’re going to make sure that Hanna is treated with the sympathy and sensitivity that she as a photogenic white girl deserves.“ Her father laments, “Nobody deserves to be treated as a black man!“ They went on to say if she had to be tried as an African- American, at least make her a celebrity or a “stunningly beautiful Filipino.”  FUNNY? INSENSITIVE? CREATIVE SATIRE? ENTERTAINING PARODY? EDUCATIONAL? INFORMATIVE? {NOW, BE AWARE: THIS IS NOT TRUE} But it does make you think, doesn’t it?

Please comment and tell me what you think.

While the above satire is not true, many incidents of race are.  The above fake story on the Onion network had about 1000 tweets and 137,941 views in just two days of its release on January 23rd when I looked at it on the 25th.  From, some of the comments after the Youtube video (which had over 71,000 views), some people actually thought it was true and were admittedly very angry about it.  But, why, incite anger?  As I’ve said before, “If you don’t want people playing the race card, then take it out of the deck!”   I’m trying real hard to not think of race, but when I see reminders of reality through realistic faux news like this, and REAL stories like, NAACP fears another lynching in Mississippi, and the Governor of Maine tells the NAACP to “Kiss my butt,” and a Louisiana Judge Refusing an Inter-racial Marriage,  it causes me to go hmmm.  But, what’s your take?  Now, to be fair, these are three instances that cause alarm, we have even more examples of us working together, colorblind, in unity.  So, to balance the story, please share stories of where race unity is working too and racism does not exist!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

7 Steps on A Faith Walk

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Make Sure Your Steps Are Faith-based NOT Fear-based.

They say that it is, “always darkest before the dawn.”  Meaning that, it is the darkest right before the light appears.   I’ve had some truly dark times indeed.  But, now, I not only can see the dawn, but a brilliant light all around.  So many opportunities and possibilities are within my grasp but there is an equal or greater number of pitfalls and potholes.  I can let the darkness paralyze me or proceed in faith.   I choose to proceed in faith and know that I am not alone and will be guided around the potholes in life.  So I encourage you to follow your dreams. Hold on if you’re convinced you are on the right boat, and jump ship if you aren’t and start swimming in the direction of your dreams.  When times get dark, visibility is poor, but who knows your wildest dreams may be just a step ahead.  Seven steps on a faith walk are below.  Enjoy and share.

7 Steps on a Faith Walk

  1. Don’t give up on your dreams when times get tough.  That’s the time to hold on tighter because it’s always darkest before the dawn.
  2. Seek advice and encouragement so that you can make a wise decision, but make the final decision yourself.  If necessary or possible, limit conversations and contact with negative, toxic, and fear-focused people.
  3. Make sure that your decisions are faith-based instead of fear-based.  Faith gives you hope.  Fear increases doubt.
  4. Take the faith walk a day at a time or a step at a time.  When it’s dark, it’s hard to see that far ahead so take each step in faith and confidence.  Everyday do something major or minor that will get you closer to your dream.
  5. Pray for guidance, fortify your faith, get up and act, and go after your dreams with tenacity.
  6. Realize that you may not get the support you need from those who love you the most.  It’s your dream and only you have been privileged through your vision to see a sneak preview of coming attractions.  You may have to take that faith walk alone.
  7. Finish the Faith Walk.  Go after your dreams as if you were fighting a gorilla.  Don’t stop when you get tired, stop when the gorilla gets tired.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

The Importance of Family Dinners

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The dinner is more  than a meal.  Family dinners can even fight obesity.  But, that’s just one of the benefits of having a family dinner together says Dr. Mark Hyman.  He goes so far to say that “Eating at Home Can Save Your Life” and that “THE SLOW INSIDIOUS DISPLACEMENT of home cooked and communally shared family meals by the industrial food system has fattened our nation and weakened our family ties.”

Reconnect through the Family Dinner

Family dinner isn’t just an occasion to fuel  the body, it’ a time to connect and share its decline of it has astounding negative  social implications for our children and families.  If you want to bring your family closer and make them happier and healthier, the family dinner is the place to start.  Just as you schedule time for your work, favorite television shows and exercise,  in the same way, you must set aside time for the family dinner.  “Don’t schedule dinners into your life.  Schedule your life around your family dinners. ” It’s that important!   And, if done right with nutritious whole food, it can be a time of focused healing spiritually,  mentally and physically.  Fewer and fewer young adults even know how to cook anymore.  Food is our medicine and we can’t live without it.  And since we’re going to eat anyway, why not make a healing, educational, and connecting ritual of it?  It’s cheaper than therapy and a lot more enjoyable.

The Loss of Shared Family Meals Have Weakened Family Ties

via How Eating at Home Can Save Your Life by Dr. Mark Hyman

Research shows that children who have regular meals with their parents do better in every way, from better grades, to healthier relationships, to staying out of trouble. They are 42 percent less likely to drink, 50 percent less likely to smoke and 66 percent less like to smoke marijuana. Regular family dinners protect girls from bulimia, anorexia, and diet pills. Family dinners also reduce the incidence of childhood obesity. In a study on household routines and obesity in US pre-school aged children, it was shown that kids as young as four have a lower risk of obesity if they eat regular family dinners, have enough sleep, and don’t watch TV on weekdays.

We complain of not having enough time to cook, but Americans spend more time watching cooking on the Food Network, than actually preparing their own meals.”

If this excerpt interested you, check out the entire article.  You’ll be glad you did.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.