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Give Yourself a Priceless Gift in 2012

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So while you’re running around shopping taking advantage of those Christmas sales, don’t forget about yourself.  What meaningful gift can you give yourself?  I’m not talking about giving yourself more stuff; I’m suggesting that you give yourself something much more precious… time.   Yes, time.  Take out your 2012 calendar right now and mark off some time in it for yourself (in ink) to take care of yourself before it’s filled up with requests, demands, and promises of others.  Treat that time as sacred and consider it as a promise to yourself which you will not break!

Your Health and Sanity Are Big Rocks

Steven Covey talks about the importance of taking care of the most important first.  He uses the analogy of filling a jar with rocks and things and equates that to filling up our lives with things (some important, others not so important).  The big rocks represent the most important things in our lives that give us meaning, joy, and purpose. The small rocks, sand, and water represent the day-to-day duties, distractions, and things we spend our time on.  He suggests that if you first fill the jar up with sand, water, and small stones, then it will be hard if not impossible to get the big rocks in later.

Put the Big Rocks in First

But, if you put the big rocks in first, then the pebbles, then the sand, then the water, you’ll be able to get a lot more in the jar.  We all lead busy complicated lives and we’ve got to decide what our big rocks, pebbles, sand, and water are.  One thing is for sure, your health is a big rock.  Put it in first.  In my life management system, I discuss 10 big rocks.   They are discussed in my ‘On Track, On Fire, and On Purpose‘ book 

Mark Off Time For Yourself Right Now!

Be proactive and take control.  Don’t wait and don’t procrastinate.  Mark off at least one day for yourself for each month.  You need at least that amount of time to rest, reflect, and recharge yourself.  Why not do it right now?  Give yourself the gift of a day to relax, plan, read, pray, meditate, walk, hike, sing, dance, visit friends, get a massage, get a pedicure, or to just play.  Relaxation and reflection are good for the mind, body, and soul.  Out of 365 days, don’t you think you deserve at least  twelve for yourself?  This gift doesn’t cost you anything but does  show how much you value yourself!  And when you are refreshed and feel valued, you are happier, make better decisions, and are more productive.

Block of 1 Hour a Day

Now, if you really love yourself, set some goals for prayer, meditation, exercising, transforming your health, developing your talents and hobbies, and for a restful vacation.  Still have your calendar out?  Well, mark off a 3-hour block each week for planning and one hour each day for reflection.    Consider your scheduled time as a promise and honor it.

You Can’t Live on Purpose by Accident

So now you’re on a roll.  Schedule some meaningful time with your family or significant other and share the joy.  We all want lives of meaning and purpose, but you can’t live on purpose by accident.  You’ve got to plan for it. Once you get in the habit of planning, you’ll want to make sure you’ve put in the big rocks in for your mind, body, soul, service to others, career, money, home, family, hobbies, and  relationships.  And when you begin to see the importance of all of these, you’ll have no time to waste on insignificant things.  Self awareness, self control, and self actualization, now that would be priceless!

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

And Justice for All

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We are a nation of laws and yet those laws and noble sentiments do not guarantee that everyone is given the same equal opportunities,  protection, or  justice under the law.  I once heard that we should not judge a country by how many wealthy people it has, but by how many poor it has.  On that same note, we should not judge a country by how many freedoms they have on the books, but instead by how many people are still not allowed to enjoy those basic freedoms. We should not judge a country by how many Nobel Laureates or Rhodes Scholars they have but by how many children they allow to go uneducated, unemployed, exploited, abused, or incarcerated because of the lack of education, protection,  and nurturing.  Continue to part 2.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

What Does Your Hair Say About You?

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What does your hair mean to you? Does it represent beauty, culture, image, or identity.  Is it your crown or crowning glory? 

This past week while speaking at a Domestic Violence Luncheon, a lady the table and I got into a discussion about black hair.  She said she dissuaded her son from wearing braids because of the prejudice that he would receive.  She said she also didn’t wear her hair natural in 2011 for fear of discrimination.

Last May I spoke to an audience in Florida at an event organized by 100 Concerned Black Women and the topic of hair came up.  My co-presenter Iris Cooper had cut off her hair and a lady in the audience who self reportedly had worn wigs most of her life challenged why she did it.  The next day the older lady came to a followup session dawning her own hair.  She recounted how freeing it was.  She somehow had felt she needed validation, permission, and acceptance to free herself.  She explained how all her life she was called ugly because of her short hair.  And, now there is another trend, cutting off our hair that we’ve taken so long to grow and  letting go of what “long hair” means.  How do you feel about cutting your hair off?   It appears that we’ve still got a lot of work to do before we get to the point that we realize that we don’t all have to look the same and can see our own naturalness as beautiful.  Please comment and share “your hair story.”

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Give Yourself a Gift Right Now

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“What we give to others, we give to ourselves. What we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves.” Marianne Williamson

Get it?  We’re all connected.  We are one.  So what is it that you feel you are lacking right now:  love, opportunity… encouragement?  Want to experience significant change right now?  You can,  if you just realize that all change happens only in the current moment.  Master the current moment and master your life.  All you have to do is think, say, and do the right thing in this moment, and the next, and the next.  And guess what, you’ll be different and things will be different!  You can make change right now by doing the following exercise.

Do this exercise right now.

  1. Think of something that you wish to experience or receive more of in your life right now.   Don’t worry; it’s okay to ask.   That’s the only way you will receive and anyway, you deserve it! We live in an abundant, loving, and harmonious universe.  It’s important to see the universe as abundant if you wish to receive from it.  If you see it as limited, shrinking, and hostile, this won’t work for you.  Okay, have something in mind?  Great!
  2. Now think of how you can assist someone else in getting that same thing.  Thought of a person?
  3. Write down their name and prayerfully think of some way to assist that person in some meaningful way.
  4.  NOW DO IT!
  5. Then report back later and share the wonderful results you are destined to experience.

Choice Words Change Lives

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Choosing to be nicer not only makes us attractive to others, but it also makes us more productive, healthier, and stronger.  Experts like Losada, Emoto, and Hawkins advocate the importance of being in the positive  or nice zone.  At work, Losada teaches that we need at least 3 (actually 2.97) positive interactions to one negative interaction to be productive.  Masuru Emoto, in ‘Hidden Messages in Water’ proves in his research that our cellular structures are actually changed by the words we use and the thoughts we think.  And finally David Hawkins in ‘Power versus Force’ teaches that there is a different energy frequency associated with our words and emotions.  The “nicer” words and qualities give us power, while the nastier qualities make us weaker.   It could even save your marriage!  Gottman’s research discovered that couples who had a ratio of five or more positive interactions to one negative interaction stayed together after his 10-year research while other marriages were in trouble.

Nice Matters

You can change your life by changing your words, nice matters.  We can all improve; to get started carry around a notebook the next few days and take note of how kind your words are.  Are they forgiving or intolerant?  Are they judgmental or complimentary? Do they uplift or dishearten?  Do they encourage or dampen the other person’s spirit?  In short, do your words soothe and inspire the soul of the person hearing them?  Also notice the reactions to your words.  Are they smiling or frowning?  Are they happy or sad?  In closing, we’ll get more of our needs met by being nice and we’ll also like that person in the mirror a whole lot more.  With so many things that are out of our control, isn’t it heartwarming to know that some things still are?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.