3. WIN: Redefine What Winning Means

Who Says Winning or Losing Are the Only Two Options?

In this dichotomous society we give the adventurous only two choices, win or lose.  That means, to win, someone has to lose.  No one likes to lose, so the majority just refuse to play at all and relegate themselves to the mundane, certain, boring, and less challenging pursuits in life.   But you don’t have to play by those rules.

Write Your Own Rules

Define or redefine, or be defined! Write your own definition and rules!  After all you have free will.  You have choice.  You are responsible for you!  Some rules are advantageous to follow, but some are self-limiting.  If the old rules are working for you, keep following them.  If not, CHANGE them!  I refuse to see myself as a loser!  I choose to approach every new opportunity (race) as a new path to unlimited potential possibilities.  I define anyone with enough faith in themselves to pursue their dreams or a challenging opportunity as already a winner!  I define winning as any pursuits that open me up to new possibilities, (different ideas, new opportunities, new ways of thinking and being, diverse people, or new paradigms.)   Now with that definition, I will always win and win big!

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, visit:  www.thepoetspeaks.com

3 thoughts on “3. WIN: Redefine What Winning Means

  1. You have hit still another one “out of the park.” Thank you for so clearly articulating additional possibilities to winning or losing. There is an excerpt from my new release on my blog that reads “Observe the success of others for affirmation and instruction.” Thus we can benefit when anyone wins! Keep winning. 😉 Clif McKnight


  2. We have to write our own inner- rules…that’s the only way we will ever know who we really are… . Writing inner-rules is the most profound way to reach a place of honest with yourself, because inner-rules are always accompanied by the self-awareness of what you actually do…and self-awareness is the engine of transformation if only because you can’t hide from it… .
    My first inner rule was:
    [1] You have to express how you really feel (not how you want others to feel)

    It has had a profound impact on my life…when I expressed how I felt to my wife, she said she didn’t care…when I asked why she didn’t care, the answer came flashing into my mind and consciousness in a flood of recalled experiences spaced out over 20 years of association (18 years in marriage)… Woe! I thought, can our marriage can’t work if she doesn’t care….and the answer came flashing in again….No it can’t….so what am I doing…what are we doing in our marriage? – flash! – we’re doing everything to convince others that we are married…because we are actually not married….

    It took me 20 years to write my first inner-rule and in the twinkling of an eye it transformed me…not because it changed me, but because it made me contrast who I was with how I lived…and as you know, without contrast, our eyes are useless….without contrast we see nothing – “Oh, I see said the blind man…”

    So the best thing about my life right now is the journey through my divorce…I get to find out who I really am because I get to tell how I really feel…and you know what? – “I like the things about me!”


    • Akin, I love the phrase, “inner rules.” The world is full of outer rules defined by others. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. But we must define the “inner rules,” otherwise we have no control over our lives. And, how could we be held responsible if we don’t control anything. The truth is we have control and feelings are a thermometer to let us know if we are on track. It is also true that caring is the most fundamental glue that connects people together. We need more glue in the world. Look forward to many collaborations.


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