Category Archives: Leadership and Change

12 Ways to Overcome the FEAR of Entrepreneurship (Part 3)

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This article discusses the final four of twelve in ‘How to Not Be Afraid to Go into Business: Don’t Give Up, Protecting Yourself from Negative People, Hard Work, and Necessity in Excelling in What You Do.

  1. Don’t Give Up:  Just Change with The Times– As I mentioned, I’ve been in business almost 24 years and there have been some very good years and very bad years.  Instead of giving up, I’ve had to re-invent myself over and over through the years and change with the tides.  Your business must be fluid and flexible.  Sometimes I changed my products, sometimes my delivery method, other times, it was my audience.  Although I started off doing computer training, I made several transformations over the decades, to corporate trainer for Diversity, Leadership, and Sexual Harassment, then to Time Management, Goal Setting, and then Effective Communications.  Then I became a motivational speaker and author of six books and counting.  Just ask yourself regularly, “How can I  best serve my audience with my unique talents and abilities?”
  2. Protect Yourself from Naysayers, Negative folks, and Toxic People– One of hardest challenges I had to overcome was convincing those closest to me to stick with me through the hard times.  When money was flowing, things were good, but it when it wasn’t, I faced challenges in the business, my relationships, my finances, and my self-esteem.  You pretty much have to have a “thick skin”, unconditional faith and perseverance, and the ability to keep yourself motivated. That is why I had to carefully choose those who I allowed in my front seats.  Join like-minded associations, get out and network, and partner with others.
  3. Work As Hard for Yourself as You Do for Others– Once you go into business, you have to work as hard for yourself as you did for others.  In fact, you will probably have to work even harder.  When I was an employee, I was only responsible for a few set of tasks.  Once I became self employed, I was responsible for everything, taxes, course development, marketing, delivery of service, billing, self improvement, etc.  Now, one thing I’ve learned that I would do differently is that you must do what you do best and partner with or hire others to do what they do best. I had to become a “Superwoman” to take care of six kids, run a business, and save my sanity.  Now that’s a  topic for another time.
  4. Excel in Your Craft– My motto was to learn something every single day to better myself.  After every course I gave,  I harshly critiqued myself and updated my course materials  before the next time I gave that course again.  I always asked for feedback.  Sometimes it was harsh and hurtful, but I learned from all of  it.  But be careful, don’t focus too long on the negative.   I remember once re-thinking my decision to do Diversity training because one person was so rude, critical,  and cruel.  But instead, I focused on the hundreds of people who loved the course, and were changed by and appreciative of it.  Just do your best and keep listening and improving.  For most of my entrepreneurial career I survived on referrals.  I always tried to do more than was expected, be professional, and keep improving.  If you do that, you’ll excel, your customers will be happy and you will be in business for years.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

12 Ways to Overcome the FEAR of Entrepreneurship (Part 2)

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Part two of ‘How to Not Be Afraid to Go Into Business‘ discusses the next four considerations:  Faith, Relationships, Benefits, Learning from Mistakes.

  1. Faith Will Get You Through– I had to focus on the benefits of being in business not the challenges of being in business.  I had to believe in and focus on the my goal.  The challenges will come anyway in time, so deal with them then.  To focus on the problems in  advance is called “worry” and is a waste of your precious and limited time. Armed with only a vision, a dream, and the support of my husband, I went into business.  I had been working for years doing computer training and getting contracts for other firms.  I had to have faith that it was possible to do the same for myself.  But the first and most important person I had to convince was myself.  I had to believe in myself and my abilities.  I had to make a decision and put all my faith and energy behind it through action.
  2. Hang Around People Who Are Business Minded– If you ask someone who is not in business for encouragement, you may not get the support you need.  Ask someone who is already in business for encouragement, advice, and guidance.   Would you ask someone who has never traveled if you should travel?  Would you ask someone who has never had children if you should have them or how to raise them?  Would you ask someone who dropped out of school if you should get a higher education and how to go about it?  I think I’ve made my point.  Associate with people who have been where you want to go or who are currently going in the same direction you are.
  3. Must Have Something of Benefit to Offer Others- It’s easier to go into business if you are convinced you have something of benefit to offer others.  Learn about the unique benefits you have to offer and then “share” those benefits with your potential customers.  Don’t focus so much on the money or selling, but instead on the service.  Most people fear “selling” their wares, but it is not selling if people need it.  You are servicing people when you offer them what they need at a fair price and with superior quality.  In fact, the Baha’i Faith describes this as “worship”, any service performed in the spirit of service and done to excellence.
  4. Learn from Your Mistakes–  Just stay in the mood of learning.  Of course you will make mistakes, but that’s part of growing.  The tree most pruned bears the best fruit, right?   Just don’t give up.  In fact, it isn’t a mistake if you learn something.  Every challenge you overcome builds more confidence.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

12 Ways to Overcome the FEAR of Entrepreneurship (Part 1)

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Today I was asked by Mark  S. on Facebook, “How did you do it, Barb?”  This was referring to how to not be afraid to start a business.  I started to respond, with an instant answer, something like “just have faith,” but decided to instead reflect on it a bit.  In 2011, I will celebrate 24 years of being in business.  In this series I share twelve  tips on how to not be afraid to go into business.  The first four are: Facing Fear, Having A Compelling Why?, Opportunity, and Timing.

  1. To Fear or Not to Fear Is Not the Deciding Factor:  I started my business in 1987 and I can’t honestly say that I was not afraid back then for I’m sure that I was.   But, what I can say is, if you are afraid, DO IT ANYWAY! You will be afraid sometimes; that’s life.  The only way to overcome fear is to face it. If you allow all of those negative “What If” questions to take hold, you’ll never go into business.    Sometimes that fear is cathartic, other times it’s cancerous.  If it points out essential knowledge, skills, and resources you need, acknowledge it and then figure out how to get what you need.Our decisions are either FEAR-based or FAITH-based, one excites you the other paralyzes you.  But in the end, fear is only a thought.  And, you have to consciously focus on that thought in order for it to derail you.  So don’t focus on what you fear!  If you want to start a business, you have a lot to be thinking about, the name, the business structure, the product, the team, the marketing (benefits), the money, the audience, the delivery method etc.  Once you decide you have something viable to offer, focus on that and you’ll have very little time left over to just worry.
  2. Must Have A Compelling Why?– You must start by asking yourself the question, “Why do I want to go into business?” The answer to that question must be compelling enough to carry you through the fear, the doubt, the naysayers, the frustration, and the despair that you will probably experience at some time.  My “WHY” was that I wanted to work at home, to be able to guide and protect my kids.  My older son had gotten into drugs in high school even though my husband and I came home every day from work and was with him.  We didn’t understand or notice the subtle changes of a teen, and being our first teen, shrugged it off as just “teenage puberty.”  At that time, I had another teen son, and after the birth of my first daughter I made a goal to figure out a way to work from home. I didn’t know how I was going to do it at that time.  In retrospect, none of that really mattered anyway.  The universe takes care of ‘how’ for committed faithful people.    I just had to DECIDE to do it and set a goal.  If you’ve got something that the world needs, share it! My compelling ‘WHY’ was to save my kids and I didn’t want them to be latch-key kids.  My “WHY” kept me going through the fear.
  3. Seize the Opportunity and Just Do It!= There will never be a perfect time to go into business.  Although I had set a 6-year goal to go into business, I actually accomplished it within a couple of years.  I had to decide to do it and then start doing it. I’d like to say I had a great plan, but I didn’t at first.  Some read a book about how to drive and then drive.  Others, like myself watch other people and then just do it.  I learned how to be in business by “just jumping in.  It was “sink or swim,” so I learned how to swim.  Now if you’ve got the option to dip your feet in the water, by all means, do that if that will ease your fear.  Now, I’ve found that only serious wholehearted and unlimited faith, hard work, and tenacity will keep you going, but first you’ve got to get going.
  4. Don’t Wait for the Perfect Time– There never will be a perfect time.  And, it was not the perfect time for me either.  I was 7 months pregnant, laid off from my job, had a teen on drugs,  had no money to start a business, and within a couple of months I would be giving birth to my 5th child.  But, I didn’t allow excuses into the equation;  I focused on my ‘WHY.”  I had to act like I was in business.  So I started telling folks, setting up my office, and preparing myself.  Word, got around and I got some business and was “in business.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

You Can’t Attach a U-Haul to a Hearse

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I spent the day after Thanksgiving burying a loved one.  During the past three months, I have attended four funerals and four times I have been “forced” or “privileged” to look at the eventual finality of this earthly sojourn and to put this whole human experience into perspective.  Interestingly, there has been at least one preeminent and recurring lesson through them all: in the end, all that there is, all that matters, is love! [Note: Thing 1(Laylah)- in the picture below is the three-year-old daughter of my nephew who died last week,  Thing 2-(French Pope IV is my grandson.]

How Many Lives Do You Touch?

Love is the glue that connects hearts in this life and in the next.  In the end, no one cares how much money you had or didn’t have, what degrees you had or did not have, what jobs you lost or found, where you lived, what you wore, or what you drove, none of that really matters.  No one cares how much “stuff” you have; because in the end, no one attaches a U-Haul to a hearse.  Love is all that you take with you.  The one with the biggest heart wins!  And, in the end life asks a different set of questions: “How many lives did you touch?” How much love did you give?  How much did you care?  And more importantly, how successful were you in letting people know how much you cared about them?

Don’t Wait to Show You Care

Why do we wait to let people know how much they mean to us until it is too late?  In the funeral service held for Mrs. Frances Barnes two months prior, the choir sang a song that left a lasting impression on me.  The lyrics, “Give me flowers while I can still see them; say kind words to me while I can still hear them,” still ring in my ears because of their profundity.  I learned similarly profound lessons from the lives or deaths of  Lil Larry, Mrs. Frances Coley, and Mrs. Jacquelyn Lefton.  Reflecting on ‘what we remember’ when a loved one passes on offers important lessons for this life and how we should live.  We don’t control our entrants or exits, or when we take our first and last breath. So it would behoove us to get our houses in order.   What will people remember about you?  What will you take with you?

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, visit:  www.thepoetspeaks.com

3. WIN: Redefine What Winning Means

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Who Says Winning or Losing Are the Only Two Options?

In this dichotomous society we give the adventurous only two choices, win or lose.  That means, to win, someone has to lose.  No one likes to lose, so the majority just refuse to play at all and relegate themselves to the mundane, certain, boring, and less challenging pursuits in life.   But you don’t have to play by those rules.

Write Your Own Rules

Define or redefine, or be defined! Write your own definition and rules!  After all you have free will.  You have choice.  You are responsible for you!  Some rules are advantageous to follow, but some are self-limiting.  If the old rules are working for you, keep following them.  If not, CHANGE them!  I refuse to see myself as a loser!  I choose to approach every new opportunity (race) as a new path to unlimited potential possibilities.  I define anyone with enough faith in themselves to pursue their dreams or a challenging opportunity as already a winner!  I define winning as any pursuits that open me up to new possibilities, (different ideas, new opportunities, new ways of thinking and being, diverse people, or new paradigms.)   Now with that definition, I will always win and win big!

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, visit:  www.thepoetspeaks.com