Category Archives: Motivation and Inspiration

Change Is Part of The Master Plan

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It is December, the time of holiday spirits, year-end reflections, and the anticipation or regret of the approaching winter weather. If there is one thing that I know for sure, it is that things WILL change.  All you have to do is open your eyes to see change all around you.  There is new construction where once there were trees or abandoned property. Houses once filled with familiar voices and laughter are now empty or new occupants have staked their claims. The trees which once were spectacularly clothed by nature now stand naked and barren, while simple houses are lit and dressed in their best holiday finery.  Even relationships that we had last year have perhaps changed, some for the better, others for the worse.  And if we are fortunate, we too will  have changed! Remember, it’s not the strongest or wisest that survive, but the one most adaptable to change.

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” -George Bernard Shaw

“Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do.” –Maya Angelou

Change is part of the master plan and is inevitable.    Life will happen, with or without our permission, engagement, or opinion. Our only choice is to decide whether we will grow from the change or not AND whether we will drive the change or let it drive us.  You  can fight it, shape it, or embrace it.  So, why not decide to grow, to improve, to be happier, to be financially secure, to become smarter, to become more virtuous and loving, and to make your mark and make a difference.

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Expectations Impact Results

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It doesn’t cost any more to dream a big powerful dream than it does to dream a small insignificant one. I perceived last year as challenging and it was extremely challenging.  I decided that this year would be better and it most definitely was.  I got to go to LA for a screen test, joined the Capital Speakers Club, got many new clients, published a new book, was nominated for Mother of the Year, and still made time for myself and the people in my life.  Get the connection?  Expectations impact results.  So, knowing how the universe works, next year I am claiming and expecting the best year of my life.   What about you?  Do you dare dream a bigger dream or are you so paralyzed by the collective fears of the nation that you feel that dreaming big is futile?

“We tend to live up to our expectations.”  Earl Nightingale

“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.”  Henry David Thoreau

Check out my previous article on the power of expectations and emotions for more on the power of expectations.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

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Give Yourself a Priceless Gift in 2012

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So while you’re running around shopping taking advantage of those Christmas sales, don’t forget about yourself.  What meaningful gift can you give yourself?  I’m not talking about giving yourself more stuff; I’m suggesting that you give yourself something much more precious… time.   Yes, time.  Take out your 2012 calendar right now and mark off some time in it for yourself (in ink) to take care of yourself before it’s filled up with requests, demands, and promises of others.  Treat that time as sacred and consider it as a promise to yourself which you will not break!

Your Health and Sanity Are Big Rocks

Steven Covey talks about the importance of taking care of the most important first.  He uses the analogy of filling a jar with rocks and things and equates that to filling up our lives with things (some important, others not so important).  The big rocks represent the most important things in our lives that give us meaning, joy, and purpose. The small rocks, sand, and water represent the day-to-day duties, distractions, and things we spend our time on.  He suggests that if you first fill the jar up with sand, water, and small stones, then it will be hard if not impossible to get the big rocks in later.

Put the Big Rocks in First

But, if you put the big rocks in first, then the pebbles, then the sand, then the water, you’ll be able to get a lot more in the jar.  We all lead busy complicated lives and we’ve got to decide what our big rocks, pebbles, sand, and water are.  One thing is for sure, your health is a big rock.  Put it in first.  In my life management system, I discuss 10 big rocks.   They are discussed in my ‘On Track, On Fire, and On Purpose‘ book 

Mark Off Time For Yourself Right Now!

Be proactive and take control.  Don’t wait and don’t procrastinate.  Mark off at least one day for yourself for each month.  You need at least that amount of time to rest, reflect, and recharge yourself.  Why not do it right now?  Give yourself the gift of a day to relax, plan, read, pray, meditate, walk, hike, sing, dance, visit friends, get a massage, get a pedicure, or to just play.  Relaxation and reflection are good for the mind, body, and soul.  Out of 365 days, don’t you think you deserve at least  twelve for yourself?  This gift doesn’t cost you anything but does  show how much you value yourself!  And when you are refreshed and feel valued, you are happier, make better decisions, and are more productive.

Block of 1 Hour a Day

Now, if you really love yourself, set some goals for prayer, meditation, exercising, transforming your health, developing your talents and hobbies, and for a restful vacation.  Still have your calendar out?  Well, mark off a 3-hour block each week for planning and one hour each day for reflection.    Consider your scheduled time as a promise and honor it.

You Can’t Live on Purpose by Accident

So now you’re on a roll.  Schedule some meaningful time with your family or significant other and share the joy.  We all want lives of meaning and purpose, but you can’t live on purpose by accident.  You’ve got to plan for it. Once you get in the habit of planning, you’ll want to make sure you’ve put in the big rocks in for your mind, body, soul, service to others, career, money, home, family, hobbies, and  relationships.  And when you begin to see the importance of all of these, you’ll have no time to waste on insignificant things.  Self awareness, self control, and self actualization, now that would be priceless!

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

Choice Words Change Lives

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Choosing to be nicer not only makes us attractive to others, but it also makes us more productive, healthier, and stronger.  Experts like Losada, Emoto, and Hawkins advocate the importance of being in the positive  or nice zone.  At work, Losada teaches that we need at least 3 (actually 2.97) positive interactions to one negative interaction to be productive.  Masuru Emoto, in ‘Hidden Messages in Water’ proves in his research that our cellular structures are actually changed by the words we use and the thoughts we think.  And finally David Hawkins in ‘Power versus Force’ teaches that there is a different energy frequency associated with our words and emotions.  The “nicer” words and qualities give us power, while the nastier qualities make us weaker.   It could even save your marriage!  Gottman’s research discovered that couples who had a ratio of five or more positive interactions to one negative interaction stayed together after his 10-year research while other marriages were in trouble.

Nice Matters

You can change your life by changing your words, nice matters.  We can all improve; to get started carry around a notebook the next few days and take note of how kind your words are.  Are they forgiving or intolerant?  Are they judgmental or complimentary? Do they uplift or dishearten?  Do they encourage or dampen the other person’s spirit?  In short, do your words soothe and inspire the soul of the person hearing them?  Also notice the reactions to your words.  Are they smiling or frowning?  Are they happy or sad?  In closing, we’ll get more of our needs met by being nice and we’ll also like that person in the mirror a whole lot more.  With so many things that are out of our control, isn’t it heartwarming to know that some things still are?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Are Your Words More Like Honey Or Acid?

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Why do you think our wisest teachers have taught us, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything?”

Before you answer, think about the people you trust, admire, and respect the most.  Are their words nice and sweet like honey or caustic and bitter like acid?  All humans have a natural intrinsic need to connect, to be liked, to be accepted, and more importantly, to be needed and valued.  One of the quickest ways to make that connection is by using nice (kind, pleasant, and polite) words in our speech.

It is through our words that we connect or divide and it is that connectedness that makes us truly human and attractive.

The question each of us must answer is, “Are we more likely to get our needs met being nasty or nice?” Our humanity is demonstrated through our compassion, sympathy, and kindness to one another, for there is an emotional component attached to our words which is communicated non-verbally.  One of the most powerful gifts that a human being possesses is speech. Each syllable and sound is infused with potential meaning and influence.  That is why we must always choose our words so carefully.  Unless we are being disingenuous, our emotions will also match our words and vice versa.  Nice people tend to say nice things; nasty people are likely to say nasty things.  You can’t completely separate who you really are from what comes out of your mouth.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.