Category Archives: Positive Thinking

Sometimes Changing Course is Wisdom And Not Quitting

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Darwin-change-V2

We’ve heard, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win!” Winners win because they’ve learned to not confuse activity with accomplishment. Winners continually assess their options and take the best route to their dreams. The don’t quit their dreams, they just change vehicles when necessary. Their ultimate loyalty is to their dream and not the vehicle.

It’s not illogical to jump a little ship stuck in the harbor to get on a yacht sailing around the world, if your goal is to see and change the world.

Just like every car has a spare tire, every ship has a life boat. The life boats are there for a reason.

And finally, it might be advisable to those who have invested time, energy, and sweat in an endeavor that is not working to read the book “Who Moved My Cheese’. And finally, remember, Charles Darwin’s advice, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

Don’t Just Sit There!

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Zig Ziglar wrote: “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there!” 

track- get movingIf we’re not moving, we need to figure out why! I’ve realized that I can’t do my best if I was not at my best.  No matter how talented you are, you too can’t do your best if you are not at your best!  Things can’t be alright if you are not right. We can’t give or attract what we don’t have.  Fortunately, we are resilient beings.  Through prayer, meditation, reflection, fasting, and journaling, I’ve learned to work my way back to “my normal.”  My goal is not to be like anyone else, but to be the best me.   I am now more confident than ever that we can have anything we want in this life, if we want the right things, are willing to do what’s right to get them, and have the will to work for whatever we want right now.  We also need to have the right people in our lives.

Doing the Right Things

What do you want out of this life?  Are your goals lofty or lowly, prideful or purposeful, serving others or self-serving, mediocre or meaningful?  Working harder won’t get you closer to your bliss, if you are not on the right path. The goal is not necessarily the gold, but to have golden relationships, golden memories, and a life full of golden and meaningful service and accomplishments.  I truly want to make a difference, but I also have financial needs.  My challenge was (and still is) to find the right balance.  I can’t tell you how many times people contact me wanting me to speak for free, even though this is how I earn a living.  No one would ask a doctor, lawyer, restaurant owner, or even a public servant to work for free.  I learned that although my heart was willing to give it away, I had to set boundaries.  I also had to really plan my time well.  I had to ask myself regularly, “Am I doing the right things that will move me closer to reaching my goals?  Am I being truly productive or merely confusing activity with accomplishment?” Once I set the right balance and the right boundaries, it gave me time to focus on the right things.

Doing What’s Right

Fortunately, my moral compass has been set on the right course for quite some time.  I attribute this to a regular spiritual routine of prayer, reflection, and meditation and a genuine desire to “do what is right.”  This was probably the most perplexing to me during my dark moments because I truly felt I was doing the right things, so why were things not turning out right for me?  I realized that just because they weren’t turning out the way I’d planned, didn’t mean that they hadn’t turned out right way or the way there were supposed to in the grand scheme of things.  If I was praying for guidance and being guided, perhaps the challenges were a way teaching me a lesson I needed to learn, making me stronger, or just simply redirecting my course.  I had to have faith and just let go.  So, if you are facing challenges, ask yourself first, “Am I doing what is right?”   And if you can honestly say that you are living a life of integrity, making moral choices, and honest in your interactions with others, just stay the course.  If, however, you have gotten off your moral track, then simply, get back on.

Doing What We Must Right Now

The third challenge is to make sure that we are doing something now and not procrastinating.  Remember, “A body in motion stays in motion.” Sometimes we know what we should be doing, but allow things of a lesser value to take precedence.  If we want to live on purpose, we must get our priorities straight.  To do this, we must set value-based goals, have a plan, and then work that plan.  This requires saying ‘no’ to people, things, and opportunities so that we can stay on track.  We can’t be everything to everybody and still do the work that we were uniquely put on this earth to do.   And in the end, we will be responsible for getting our work done; no excuses will be allowed.  Sometimes the window of opportunity is open for just a short time.  If we don’t act, we lose that opportunity and have to wait for it to open again if ever.  I have a strong belief that we make our own opportunities.  I personally don’t wait for them to happen; I meditate, come up with a plan, collaborate with others, and create my own opportunities.  As co-creators in creation, we have the power through our thoughts, deeds, and actions to manifest the kind of life we choose for ourselves.   Every thought has the potential to manifest as reality, but only if we do the right thing, the right way, and do it RIGHT NOW!

The Right People

“No man or woman is an island.”  We don’t stand alone; we are all connected.  That being said, we still must choose carefully the people in our lives.  Some people are there for a reason, others, a season, and a few are lifers.  We must accept this fact.  We sometimes outgrow our relationships.  Sometimes we need new fresh relationships to stimulate new growth, perspectives, and possibilities.  Sometimes the people in our lives that we care the most about cause us the most anxiety and grief.   I had to let go of a long time relationship with a friend who hurt me very badly during a time that I was most vulnerable.  It hurt me a lot because I was not prepared for it and it caught me off guard.  I’ve been taught to, “Make new friends, but keep the old because one is silver and the other is gold.”  Well, I’ve learned that silver can tarnish and gold can rust.  Relationships have to be two-way, giving and taking.  I’ll leave it at that.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

21 Ways to Make Your Home a Fortress for Well-Being

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21 Ways to Make Your Home Happier

21 Ways to Make Your Home Happier

You’ve heard it said before, “Home is where the heart is.“

But the home is so much more. Home should be where your heart, healing, happiness, and humanity are best magnified. If you don’t show or won’t show humanity, forgiveness, kindness, and encouragement at home, then where?  Your home is your loving lab, where you can make mistakes in a loving environment and grow from them. Your home is the place where you GROW your family and pass on your values.  It gets frustrating worrying about all the bad things in the world and feeling hopeless, so focus your energy on the one place where you can make a difference.  Your home is your first responsibility.  Make it more loving, healing, encouraging, and trusting.

Home is a safe place to dream and expect encouragement and support.  We are truly in a sad state of affairs if our homes do not restore us to wholeness. Even worse, when our homes are the cause of our sorrow, depression, fear, and self-devaluing. Your home must become your fortress for well-being, the place you go to heal, restore, and flourish.  It should be the one place where you can let your guard down and be able to trust. It should be the one place where you will have the most influence. What you DO in your home affects its power to heal.  These are 21 Things we do to make our house a home.

  1. We do second chances, and sometimes third, fourth, fifth, sixth…….infinity
  2. We do grace.
  3. We do real.
  4. We do trust.
  5. We do loud; Sometimes, we do real loud!
  6. We do encouragement.
  7. We do mistakes.
  8. We do, “I’m sorry.”
  9. We do hugs.
  10. We do, “I love you.”
  11. We do prayer.
  12. We do faith.
  13. We do forgiveness.
  14. We do gratitude.
  15. We do service.
  16. We do laughter and lots of it!
  17. We do, “Please!”
  18. We do, “Thank You!”
  19. We do “Excuse Me!”
  20. We do, “Let me help you!
  21. We do, “Let go and Let God!  (a whole lot)

I’m Barbara Talley,  The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

Moving Forward Means Letting Go

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” -C.S. Lewis   

Whether your current moment is merry or miserable, you must let go of it if you are to move on to the next.   The miserable moments are only miserable when we label them that way. The merry moments are only that way because we decided that they were merry.  This morning I was reflecting on last December and the changes that have occurred since last year this time.  There have been so many.  For one, there were people in my life last year that are gone this year.  Two years ago at this time, we were mourning my nephew’s tragic and untimely demise at age 32.  Everyone was wishing that they’d spent more time with him or that they had said and done things to let him know how much he was loved while he was there.  Last year it is my step-mother who passed in July. She lived to be 85-years old.  This morning I was reflecting on how she did not spend the holidays with us that last year before she passed.  There were many reasons, but mainly our collective somber mood and the weather.  Little did I know that we would not have another opportunity.

“It’s not life’s big planned events that make the big difference, it is the simple, intimate, and sometimes spontaneous things we do for each other.” Barbara Talley

While there has been significant losses, at the same time there has been significant gain.  I am not the same person I was last year or the year before. I’ve been tested by trials and as they say, “The tree most pruned bears the best fruit.”  Last year this time there was a fear and hopelessness that has now been replaced by faith and expectation.  I have new relationships, new opportunities, and a new sense of valuing life’s little moments.  I am better, mainly because I chose to be better.  I know from my more than a half century of living that we must seize every moment.  We don’t love, laugh, and enrich the world in the past or the present, we do it ONLY in the current moment.  So seize it.  I sure plan to!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.
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5 Tips for Overcoming Fear for Beginning Entrepreneurs

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This is 2014, I celebrate 27 years of being in business for myself.  In this series I share twelve  tips on how to not be afraid to go into business.  The first four are: Facing Fear, Having A Compelling Why?, Opportunity, and Timing.

  1. To Fear or Not to Fear Is Not the Deciding Factor:  I started my business in 1987 and I can’t honestly say that I wasn’tafraid back then for I’m sure I felt something.  I could name that energy excitement or name it fear.  But, what I’d like to say about fear is, even if you are afraid, DO IT ANYWAY! You will be afraid sometimes; that’s life.  The only way to overcome fear is to face it. If you allow all of those negative “What If” questions to take hold, you’ll never go into business.   Sometimes that fear is cathartic; other times it’s cancerous.  If it points out essential knowledge, skills, and resources you need, acknowledge it and then figure out how to get what you need.
  2. Our decisions are either FEAR-based or FAITH-based, one excites you, the other paralyzes you.  But in the end, fear is only a thought.  You have to consciously focus on that thought in order for it to derail you.  So the solution is clear. Don’t focus on what you fear or don’t want!  If you want to start a business, you have a lot to be thinking about, the name, the business structure, the product, the team, the marketing (benefits), the money, the audience, the delivery method etc.  Will you go it alone or will you choose at network marketing company. Once you decide you have something viable to offer, focus on that and you’ll have very little time left over to just worry.
  3. Must Have A Compelling Why?– Begin by asking yourself the question, “Why do I want to go into business?” The answer to that question must be compelling enough to carry you through the fear, the doubt, the naysayers, the frustration, and the despair that you will no doubt experience at some time.  My “WHY” was that I wanted to work at home, to be able to guide and protect my kids.  I didn’t know how I was going to do it at that time.  In retrospect, none of that really mattered anyway.  The universe takes care of ‘how’ for committed faithful people.  I just had to DECIDE to do it and set a goal.  If you’ve got something that the world needs, share it! My compelling ‘WHY’ was to save my kids and I didn’t want them to be latch-key kids.  My “WHY” kept me going through the fear.
  4. Seize the Opportunity and Just Do It!= There will never be a perfect time to go into business.  Although I had set a 6-year goal to go into business, I actually accomplished it within a couple of years.  I had to decide to do it and then start doing it. I’d like to say I had a great plan, but I didn’t at first.  Some read a book about how to drive and then drive.  Others, like myself watch other people and then just do it.  I learned how to be in business by “just jumping in.  It was “sink or swim,” so I learned how to swim.  Now if you’ve got the option to dip your feet in the water, by all means, do that if that will ease your fear.  Now, I’ve found that only serious wholehearted and unlimited faith, hard work, and tenacity will keep you going, but first you’ve got to get going.
  5. Don’t Wait for the Perfect Time– There never will be a perfect time.  And, it was not the perfect time for me either.  I was 7 months pregnant, laid off from my job, had a teen on drugs,  had no money to start a business, and within a couple of months I would be giving birth to my 5th child.  But, I didn’t allow excuses into the equation;  I focused on my ‘WHY.”  I had to act like I was in business.  So I started telling folks, setting up my office, and preparing myself.  Word, got around and I got some business and was “in business.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.