Tag Archives: self-help

Give Yourself a Gift Right Now

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“What we give to others, we give to ourselves. What we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves.” Marianne Williamson

Get it?  We’re all connected.  We are one.  So what is it that you feel you are lacking right now:  love, opportunity… encouragement?  Want to experience significant change right now?  You can,  if you just realize that all change happens only in the current moment.  Master the current moment and master your life.  All you have to do is think, say, and do the right thing in this moment, and the next, and the next.  And guess what, you’ll be different and things will be different!  You can make change right now by doing the following exercise.

Do this exercise right now.

  1. Think of something that you wish to experience or receive more of in your life right now.   Don’t worry; it’s okay to ask.   That’s the only way you will receive and anyway, you deserve it! We live in an abundant, loving, and harmonious universe.  It’s important to see the universe as abundant if you wish to receive from it.  If you see it as limited, shrinking, and hostile, this won’t work for you.  Okay, have something in mind?  Great!
  2. Now think of how you can assist someone else in getting that same thing.  Thought of a person?
  3. Write down their name and prayerfully think of some way to assist that person in some meaningful way.
  4.  NOW DO IT!
  5. Then report back later and share the wonderful results you are destined to experience.

Choice Words Change Lives

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Choosing to be nicer not only makes us attractive to others, but it also makes us more productive, healthier, and stronger.  Experts like Losada, Emoto, and Hawkins advocate the importance of being in the positive  or nice zone.  At work, Losada teaches that we need at least 3 (actually 2.97) positive interactions to one negative interaction to be productive.  Masuru Emoto, in ‘Hidden Messages in Water’ proves in his research that our cellular structures are actually changed by the words we use and the thoughts we think.  And finally David Hawkins in ‘Power versus Force’ teaches that there is a different energy frequency associated with our words and emotions.  The “nicer” words and qualities give us power, while the nastier qualities make us weaker.   It could even save your marriage!  Gottman’s research discovered that couples who had a ratio of five or more positive interactions to one negative interaction stayed together after his 10-year research while other marriages were in trouble.

Nice Matters

You can change your life by changing your words, nice matters.  We can all improve; to get started carry around a notebook the next few days and take note of how kind your words are.  Are they forgiving or intolerant?  Are they judgmental or complimentary? Do they uplift or dishearten?  Do they encourage or dampen the other person’s spirit?  In short, do your words soothe and inspire the soul of the person hearing them?  Also notice the reactions to your words.  Are they smiling or frowning?  Are they happy or sad?  In closing, we’ll get more of our needs met by being nice and we’ll also like that person in the mirror a whole lot more.  With so many things that are out of our control, isn’t it heartwarming to know that some things still are?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Are Your Words More Like Honey Or Acid?

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Why do you think our wisest teachers have taught us, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything?”

Before you answer, think about the people you trust, admire, and respect the most.  Are their words nice and sweet like honey or caustic and bitter like acid?  All humans have a natural intrinsic need to connect, to be liked, to be accepted, and more importantly, to be needed and valued.  One of the quickest ways to make that connection is by using nice (kind, pleasant, and polite) words in our speech.

It is through our words that we connect or divide and it is that connectedness that makes us truly human and attractive.

The question each of us must answer is, “Are we more likely to get our needs met being nasty or nice?” Our humanity is demonstrated through our compassion, sympathy, and kindness to one another, for there is an emotional component attached to our words which is communicated non-verbally.  One of the most powerful gifts that a human being possesses is speech. Each syllable and sound is infused with potential meaning and influence.  That is why we must always choose our words so carefully.  Unless we are being disingenuous, our emotions will also match our words and vice versa.  Nice people tend to say nice things; nasty people are likely to say nasty things.  You can’t completely separate who you really are from what comes out of your mouth.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Seven Good Reasons to Laugh More

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Did you know that a hearty laugh can leave your body relaxed for up to 45 minutes?  Or that laughter boosts your immune system for up to three days?  Everyone feels good when they laugh, so why don’t we do it more. Laughter releases endorphins that change your mood for the better.   I was cleaning out some old files and came across an anonymous funny quip that someone sent me in 2006.  It made me smile so I decided to share it with you to pay it forward.   In this article, see if you can find at least seven reasons to laugh more.

“Dear Lord, So far today,  I’m –doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent.  I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate.  I have charged nothing to my credit card. But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think I will really need your help then.”  Anonymous

“Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy, ” writes Melinda Smith, M.A., Gina Kemp, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, in their article ‘Laughter is the Best Medicine.’   Also, read about eight ways to improve stress through laughter at  About.com.  There are probably people in your life who also make you laugh.  Thank them because through laughter they are helping you to protect your heart, increase pain resistance, and help your marriage or other relationships.  Now I’d like you to pay it forward.  If you’ve got a funny story or link that will make us laugh, please comment and share below.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.

Don’t Put It Off!

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My mouth dropped open.  I was speechless.  I couldn’t believe the words I was hearing over the phone.  I was thinking about rescheduling my lunch appointment for the second time, but now I was the one being canceled.   I’d rescheduled our lunch from the previous week to the following week thinking it would be better, but it wasn’t.  After all, it was only one week.  The decision was perplexing me so I decided to just call my friend, explain the situation, and we would make the decision together.   But, now it is too late.  The woman on the phone was telling me that my lunch companion had died suddenly the day after our canceled lunch.  This happened over a year ago but I remember it as if it were yesterday.  I would never see my friend again and that opportunity would now be loss forever.  I couldn’t help but think about how precious time was, and that the only time we really have is now.  It is only in the current moment that we can count on and live.  This incident brings new meaning to the saying, “Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.”

What’s the Lesson?

I had to ask myself, “What is the lesson I am to learn from this?”  In every situation it is important to learn the lesson, otherwise our tests are repeated.  Upon reflection I realized the importance of not taking anything or anyone for granted.  I learned that what we do in the moment creates our past and helps us to realize the futures we dream of.  The past is gone and tomorrow is not promised to anyone.  I needed to focus on that statement, “Tomorrow is not promised.”  All we really have is here and now.

So, what are putting off right now, that really should be done today?  Better still, if you knew you wouldn’t have tomorrow, “What would you be doing differently today?”  What would happen if you really lived like there would be no tomorrow.  What would change?

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.