Does the season make you jolly or stressed?

Does the season make you jolly or stressed?

Maybe it would benefit us all if we changed our tune just a little bit to include, ‘Tis the season to make others happy.’ 

Look around you, who is in need of a little care and happiness?   When our focus is on making other’s happy, we are making space for our own joy and grace.

If you’re not happy, perhaps you are focused on the wrong things. To be happy, sometimes we just need to appreciate and recognize what we already have.

To experience joy, we just need to remember how blessed and loved we are to have a job, or talents, a place to lay our heads at night, loved ones around us, or even a healthy mind and body. Usually around this time of year, we’re figuring out how to get my step-mom here for the holidays. This year she is no longer with us. Be grateful for the loved ones in your life RIGHT now.  Spending so much time with her  in the hospital before she passed reminded me even more of the importance of health.   If you have your health, then you have something to truly  be jolly and happy about.  I’m healthy and I’m happy and I am grateful.  I hope you are too!

5 Tips for Overcoming Fear for Beginning Entrepreneurs

This is 2014, I celebrate 27 years of being in business for myself.  In this series I share twelve  tips on how to not be afraid to go into business.  The first four are: Facing Fear, Having A Compelling Why?, Opportunity, and Timing.

  1. To Fear or Not to Fear Is Not the Deciding Factor:  I started my business in 1987 and I can’t honestly say that I wasn’tafraid back then for I’m sure I felt something.  I could name that energy excitement or name it fear.  But, what I’d like to say about fear is, even if you are afraid, DO IT ANYWAY! You will be afraid sometimes; that’s life.  The only way to overcome fear is to face it. If you allow all of those negative “What If” questions to take hold, you’ll never go into business.   Sometimes that fear is cathartic; other times it’s cancerous.  If it points out essential knowledge, skills, and resources you need, acknowledge it and then figure out how to get what you need.
  2. Our decisions are either FEAR-based or FAITH-based, one excites you, the other paralyzes you.  But in the end, fear is only a thought.  You have to consciously focus on that thought in order for it to derail you.  So the solution is clear. Don’t focus on what you fear or don’t want!  If you want to start a business, you have a lot to be thinking about, the name, the business structure, the product, the team, the marketing (benefits), the money, the audience, the delivery method etc.  Will you go it alone or will you choose at network marketing company. Once you decide you have something viable to offer, focus on that and you’ll have very little time left over to just worry.
  3. Must Have A Compelling Why?– Begin by asking yourself the question, “Why do I want to go into business?” The answer to that question must be compelling enough to carry you through the fear, the doubt, the naysayers, the frustration, and the despair that you will no doubt experience at some time.  My “WHY” was that I wanted to work at home, to be able to guide and protect my kids.  I didn’t know how I was going to do it at that time.  In retrospect, none of that really mattered anyway.  The universe takes care of ‘how’ for committed faithful people.  I just had to DECIDE to do it and set a goal.  If you’ve got something that the world needs, share it! My compelling ‘WHY’ was to save my kids and I didn’t want them to be latch-key kids.  My “WHY” kept me going through the fear.
  4. Seize the Opportunity and Just Do It!= There will never be a perfect time to go into business.  Although I had set a 6-year goal to go into business, I actually accomplished it within a couple of years.  I had to decide to do it and then start doing it. I’d like to say I had a great plan, but I didn’t at first.  Some read a book about how to drive and then drive.  Others, like myself watch other people and then just do it.  I learned how to be in business by “just jumping in.  It was “sink or swim,” so I learned how to swim.  Now if you’ve got the option to dip your feet in the water, by all means, do that if that will ease your fear.  Now, I’ve found that only serious wholehearted and unlimited faith, hard work, and tenacity will keep you going, but first you’ve got to get going.
  5. Don’t Wait for the Perfect Time– There never will be a perfect time.  And, it was not the perfect time for me either.  I was 7 months pregnant, laid off from my job, had a teen on drugs,  had no money to start a business, and within a couple of months I would be giving birth to my 5th child.  But, I didn’t allow excuses into the equation;  I focused on my ‘WHY.”  I had to act like I was in business.  So I started telling folks, setting up my office, and preparing myself.  Word, got around and I got some business and was “in business.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

6 Ways to Be Happier and Nicer Right Now

One of my daughters used to say, “Be nice, baby,” to everyone when she was about three years old.  I’m wishing the same for you, “Be nice, baby!” When people are nice to us, we are happier. When we make others happy, now that’s pure joy!  We habitually say, “Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary,  Happy Valentines Day, and “Happy Holidays.”  Why not “Happy Monday, Happy Tuesday, Happy Wednesday, etc?” And while you’re sending out that happy wish why not follow it up with nice thoughts, words, and actions.  Just like gloom is contagious, so is happiness. So go infect others with happiness, by wishing the best for them each day, not just on special days.

You can change your life by changing your words, nice matters.  We can all improve; to get started:

  1. Carry around a notebook the next few days and take note of how kind your words are.
  2. Are they forgiving or intolerant?
  3. Are they judgmental or complimentary?
  4. Do they uplift or dishearten?  Do they encourage or dampen the other person’s spirit?  In short, do your words soothe and inspire the soul of the person hearing them?
  5. Also notice the reactions to your words.
  6. Are they smiling or frowning?  Are they happy or sad?

Also check out this post on ‘5 Simple Ways to Stay Happy‘ by another blogger.

In closing, we’ll get more of our needs met by being nice and we’ll also like that person in the mirror a whole lot more.  With so many things that are out of our control, isn’t it heartwarming to know that some things still are?

I’m Barbara Talley,  The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

How Much Is A Black Youth Worth?

black youthI want to bring your attention to three recent tragedies that seem to have three things in common, their race, age, and gender. They were all young, African-American males, who were attacked because of their race.  Most recently seventeen year old, Jordan Russell was killed by a white man in Florida because he was playing his music too loud.  Ironically another seventeen year old unarmed Trevon Martin was shot dead in February in Florida holding nothing but a can of iced tea and a pack of Skittles.

Twenty-one year old, Chavis Carter was shot in the head with his hands handcuffed behind him while in the back of a police car in Arkansas in August.  While the police say that he committed suicide, the evidence does not support how the left-handed Chavis shot himself with his right hand while handcuffed.  He was with two friends when the police apprehended him. They were let go. They just happened to be white. He was arrested for giving a false name and reports say he had  $1o worth of marijuana on him.  Some states have now made that legal, but too late for this young man is dead.

How much is the life of a black child worth? These stories are not isolated cases.  There are others.  But it seems the frequency or severity of these types of atrocities do not faze people anymore. They just shake their heads and go back to their regularly scheduled programming.  Few will even comment and show that they care or feel anything.  I empathize with the mothers who are mourning their children today.  Today I think about those lives changed forever or snuffed out entirely and I try to make sense out of senseless brutality, hatred, and cruelty.  I appease my own conscience by shining the light on these cruel injustices so that their pain was not in vain and that they are not forgotten.  After that, I too shake my head and think, what now?

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me–and there was no one left to speak for me.

(Quote by Martin Niemoller)

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

Take Faith-based Not Fear-Based Steps

Make Sure Your Steps Are Faith-based NOT

Fear-based.

At any given time there will be opportunities and possibilities within your grasp but there may also be an equal or greater number of pitfalls and potholes.  You can let the darkness paralyze you or proceed in faith.   I choose to proceed in faith and know that I am not alone and will be guided around the potholes in life.  So I encourage you too to follow your dreams. Hold on if you’re convinced you are on the right boat, and jump ship if you aren’t and start swimming in the direction of your dreams. Seven steps on a faith walk are below.  Enjoy and share.

7 Steps on a Faith Walk

  1. Don’t give up on your dreams when times get tough.  That’s the time to hold on tighter because it’s always darkest before the dawn.
  2. Seek advice and encouragement so that you can make a wise decision, but make the final decision yourself.  If necessary or possible, limit conversations and contact with negative, toxic, and fear-focused people.
  3. Make sure that your decisions are faith-based instead of fear-based.  Faith gives you hope.  Fear increases doubt.
  4. Take the faith walk a day at a time or a step at a time.  When it’s dark, it’s hard to see that far ahead so take each step in faith and confidence.  Everyday do something major or minor that will get you closer to your dream.
  5. Pray for guidance, fortify your faith, get up and act, and go after your dreams with tenacity.
  6. Realize that you may not get the support you need from those who love you the most.  It’s your dream and only you have been privileged through your vision to see a sneak preview of coming attractions.  You may have to take that faith walk alone.
  7. Finish the Faith Walk.  Go after your dreams as if you were fighting a gorilla.  Don’t stop when you get tired, stop when the gorilla gets tired.

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.