Moving Forward Means Letting Go

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” -C.S. Lewis   

Whether your current moment is merry or miserable, you must let go of it if you are to move on to the next.   The miserable moments are only miserable when we label them that way. The merry moments are only that way because we decided that they were merry.  This morning I was reflecting on last December and the changes that have occurred since last year this time.  There have been so many.  For one, there were people in my life last year that are gone this year.  Two years ago at this time, we were mourning my nephew’s tragic and untimely demise at age 32.  Everyone was wishing that they’d spent more time with him or that they had said and done things to let him know how much he was loved while he was there.  Last year it is my step-mother who passed in July. She lived to be 85-years old.  This morning I was reflecting on how she did not spend the holidays with us that last year before she passed.  There were many reasons, but mainly our collective somber mood and the weather.  Little did I know that we would not have another opportunity.

“It’s not life’s big planned events that make the big difference, it is the simple, intimate, and sometimes spontaneous things we do for each other.” Barbara Talley

While there has been significant losses, at the same time there has been significant gain.  I am not the same person I was last year or the year before. I’ve been tested by trials and as they say, “The tree most pruned bears the best fruit.”  Last year this time there was a fear and hopelessness that has now been replaced by faith and expectation.  I have new relationships, new opportunities, and a new sense of valuing life’s little moments.  I am better, mainly because I chose to be better.  I know from my more than a half century of living that we must seize every moment.  We don’t love, laugh, and enrich the world in the past or the present, we do it ONLY in the current moment.  So seize it.  I sure plan to!

I’m Barbara Talley, the poet who speaks and inspires.  To find out more about me check out: What Does Barbara Do? or visit  my website.
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Does the season make you jolly or stressed?

Does the season make you jolly or stressed?

Maybe it would benefit us all if we changed our tune just a little bit to include, ‘Tis the season to make others happy.’ 

Look around you, who is in need of a little care and happiness?   When our focus is on making other’s happy, we are making space for our own joy and grace.

If you’re not happy, perhaps you are focused on the wrong things. To be happy, sometimes we just need to appreciate and recognize what we already have.

To experience joy, we just need to remember how blessed and loved we are to have a job, or talents, a place to lay our heads at night, loved ones around us, or even a healthy mind and body. Usually around this time of year, we’re figuring out how to get my step-mom here for the holidays. This year she is no longer with us. Be grateful for the loved ones in your life RIGHT now.  Spending so much time with her  in the hospital before she passed reminded me even more of the importance of health.   If you have your health, then you have something to truly  be jolly and happy about.  I’m healthy and I’m happy and I am grateful.  I hope you are too!

5 Tips for Overcoming Fear for Beginning Entrepreneurs

This is 2014, I celebrate 27 years of being in business for myself.  In this series I share twelve  tips on how to not be afraid to go into business.  The first four are: Facing Fear, Having A Compelling Why?, Opportunity, and Timing.

  1. To Fear or Not to Fear Is Not the Deciding Factor:  I started my business in 1987 and I can’t honestly say that I wasn’tafraid back then for I’m sure I felt something.  I could name that energy excitement or name it fear.  But, what I’d like to say about fear is, even if you are afraid, DO IT ANYWAY! You will be afraid sometimes; that’s life.  The only way to overcome fear is to face it. If you allow all of those negative “What If” questions to take hold, you’ll never go into business.   Sometimes that fear is cathartic; other times it’s cancerous.  If it points out essential knowledge, skills, and resources you need, acknowledge it and then figure out how to get what you need.
  2. Our decisions are either FEAR-based or FAITH-based, one excites you, the other paralyzes you.  But in the end, fear is only a thought.  You have to consciously focus on that thought in order for it to derail you.  So the solution is clear. Don’t focus on what you fear or don’t want!  If you want to start a business, you have a lot to be thinking about, the name, the business structure, the product, the team, the marketing (benefits), the money, the audience, the delivery method etc.  Will you go it alone or will you choose at network marketing company. Once you decide you have something viable to offer, focus on that and you’ll have very little time left over to just worry.
  3. Must Have A Compelling Why?– Begin by asking yourself the question, “Why do I want to go into business?” The answer to that question must be compelling enough to carry you through the fear, the doubt, the naysayers, the frustration, and the despair that you will no doubt experience at some time.  My “WHY” was that I wanted to work at home, to be able to guide and protect my kids.  I didn’t know how I was going to do it at that time.  In retrospect, none of that really mattered anyway.  The universe takes care of ‘how’ for committed faithful people.  I just had to DECIDE to do it and set a goal.  If you’ve got something that the world needs, share it! My compelling ‘WHY’ was to save my kids and I didn’t want them to be latch-key kids.  My “WHY” kept me going through the fear.
  4. Seize the Opportunity and Just Do It!= There will never be a perfect time to go into business.  Although I had set a 6-year goal to go into business, I actually accomplished it within a couple of years.  I had to decide to do it and then start doing it. I’d like to say I had a great plan, but I didn’t at first.  Some read a book about how to drive and then drive.  Others, like myself watch other people and then just do it.  I learned how to be in business by “just jumping in.  It was “sink or swim,” so I learned how to swim.  Now if you’ve got the option to dip your feet in the water, by all means, do that if that will ease your fear.  Now, I’ve found that only serious wholehearted and unlimited faith, hard work, and tenacity will keep you going, but first you’ve got to get going.
  5. Don’t Wait for the Perfect Time– There never will be a perfect time.  And, it was not the perfect time for me either.  I was 7 months pregnant, laid off from my job, had a teen on drugs,  had no money to start a business, and within a couple of months I would be giving birth to my 5th child.  But, I didn’t allow excuses into the equation;  I focused on my ‘WHY.”  I had to act like I was in business.  So I started telling folks, setting up my office, and preparing myself.  Word, got around and I got some business and was “in business.

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

6 Ways to Be Happier and Nicer Right Now

One of my daughters used to say, “Be nice, baby,” to everyone when she was about three years old.  I’m wishing the same for you, “Be nice, baby!” When people are nice to us, we are happier. When we make others happy, now that’s pure joy!  We habitually say, “Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary,  Happy Valentines Day, and “Happy Holidays.”  Why not “Happy Monday, Happy Tuesday, Happy Wednesday, etc?” And while you’re sending out that happy wish why not follow it up with nice thoughts, words, and actions.  Just like gloom is contagious, so is happiness. So go infect others with happiness, by wishing the best for them each day, not just on special days.

You can change your life by changing your words, nice matters.  We can all improve; to get started:

  1. Carry around a notebook the next few days and take note of how kind your words are.
  2. Are they forgiving or intolerant?
  3. Are they judgmental or complimentary?
  4. Do they uplift or dishearten?  Do they encourage or dampen the other person’s spirit?  In short, do your words soothe and inspire the soul of the person hearing them?
  5. Also notice the reactions to your words.
  6. Are they smiling or frowning?  Are they happy or sad?

Also check out this post on ‘5 Simple Ways to Stay Happy‘ by another blogger.

In closing, we’ll get more of our needs met by being nice and we’ll also like that person in the mirror a whole lot more.  With so many things that are out of our control, isn’t it heartwarming to know that some things still are?

I’m Barbara Talley,  The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.

The Future of Education: Free College Courses-Textbooks

Who says you can’t get anything of value for free anymore?

Now education is open sourced.  Several top universities are offering free on-line courses to anyone on any topic imaginable. There is no excuse NOT to learn a new language, skill, or to keep abreast of the newest technologies.  Just like You-tube, Firefox, and GoogleVoice have offered valuable free services, now colleges are catching the FREE wave.   There are even over 160 free textbooks. (The Textbook Revolution also is a resource for free books.)  You can learn right from your home or wherever you have computer access.  The training is free, but you pay for testing and accreditation.  For those who are changing careers or upgrading their skill-set and are tight on money, this could be the answer.  Knowledge is still valuable even without the certification which you can get when you can afford it later.  The knowledge now can assist in getting that new job or promotion.

ImageLet’s say you want to learn calculus, math, science, computer science, finances, humanities, physics, history, or prep for the Math SAT or GMAT, try out http://www.khanacademy.org.  They have over 3500 videos. WOW!

“MIT OpenCourseWare makes the materials used in the teaching of substantially all of MIT’s undergraduate and graduate courses—more than 2,100 in all—available on the Web, free of charge, to any user in the world. OCW receives an average of 1.9 million web site visits per month from more than 215 countries and territories worldwide. To date, more than 125 million individuals have accessed OCW materials.” http://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm

And, they aren’t the only ones, Harvard, Berkeley, and the University of Texas also offer free courses. https://www.edx.org

http://www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses (550 free on-line courses)

http://www.openculture.com/free_textbooks (160 Free text books)

http://www.academicearth.org (Pulls together lectures from multiple universities on a topic)

http://www.apple.com/education/itunes-u/ (Can’t forget Apple University. There’s an app for that!)

http://www.free-ed.net/free%2Ded/

Another school based in South Africa advertises, “Regenesys Business School is the first business school in the world to offer free business education, making all learning materials freely available online in this revolutionary initiative.” Be sure to check them out also at http://regenesys.co.za/free-edu/

The OpenCourseWare Consortium Aggregates over 22 Universities

“Most courses offered on OpenCourseWare are available as free audio or video lectures for free, and under open licenses. The easiest way to find a course you’re interested in is to search the OpenCourseWare Consortium site, which aggregates courses from over 22 universities in the US alone, including MIT, Johns Hopkins, Tufts, and the University of Michigan, and features courses on tons of different subjects, from business and economics to architecture and physics. Most universities have their specialties, of course (MIT, for example, has a bounty of resources in engineering), but between them all, you should be able to find pretty much anything you want,” write Life Hacker in their article, Where to Get the Best Free Education.

The future is bright and a new education is just a click away, FOR FREE!

I’m Barbara Talley, The Poet who speaks and inspires.   To find more about me, check out my promo sheet or visit  my website.